Proof read help! please?

Question

Most of commercials have specific target of audience. They don’t tell us straight but we can tell if it’s for men, women, children, or teenagers. Alienware commercial has no specific target of audience. Commercial shows exterior images of the computer and it ends with the whole shot of computer. I searched the Alienware product in internet and I found that Alienware is for serious gamers. Also it’s very expensive compares to other popular PC brand. Nothing in the commercial gives consumers that it’s for serious gamer or people who need powerful graphic processing computer. Yes, Alienware’s commercial is simple, clean, and somewhat entertaining, but it’s unclear whom they want to sell it. It feels like, they don’t even want to sell their product.

Answer 1

Most of commercials have a specific audience to target. Producers are typically fairly secretive about disclosing which target audience the commercial is for, but viewers can typically tell. The Alienware commercial does not seem to target a specific target audience as it displays graphics of computer images as well as a shot of the entire system at the end of the feed. While searching the Allianceware website, I noticed that the products focus on computer gaming, which was not demonstrated by their advertisements. While the product itself is comparable to other PC Systems, is not competitive. Perhaps their high prices and seemingly all-to-common system has contributed to their lack of interest in captivating a target audience. While the commercial itself was simple, clean cut and entertaining, it was quite evident that there was no real drive to pull in consumers.

Hope that helps.

Answer 2

Most commercials have specific target audiences. They don’t tell us straight but we can tell if it’s for men, women, children, or teenagers. Alienware commercial has no specific target audience. Their commercial shows exterior images of the computer and it ends with the whole shot of a computer. I searched the Alienware product from the internet and found that Alienware is for serious gamers. Also it’s very expensive compared to other popular PC brands. Nothing in the commercial gives consumers information that it’s for serious gamers or people who need powerful graphic processing computers. Yes, Alienware’s commercial is simple, clean, and somewhat entertaining, but it’s unclear who they want to sell it to. It feels like, they don’t even want to sell their product.

This was a quick edit. You should still review it and see how u can make it better. tc.

Answer 3

Most commercials have a specific target of audience. They don’t tell us straight, but we can tell if it’s for men, women, children, or teenagers. Alienware commercial has no specific target of audience. Commercial shows exterior images of the computer and it ends with the whole shot of a computer. I searched the Alienware product in internet and I found that Alienware is for serious gamers. Also, it’s very expensive compares to other popular PC brand. Nothing in the commercial gives consumers that it’s for serious gamer or people who need powerful graphic processing computer. Yes, Alienware’s commercial is simple, clean, and somewhat entertaining, but it’s unclear whom they want to sell it. It feels like they don’t even want to sell their product.

Answer 4

"Most of commercials have specific target of audience."

Bad grammar

Most commercial organizations have a specific target audience.

"children, or teenagers"

Remove the comma before the "or", not required.

"...product in internet"

Bad Grammer:

On the Internet


"Also it’s very expensive..."

Bad Grammer

Alienware is also very expensive


"....compares to other popular"

Bad Grammer

Compared OR In comparison to other products


"brand"

Fragment consider : Brand(s)

"gives consumers"

Fragmented
Consider:

Implies to customers it's...

"whom they want to sell it"

Sell TO.

"It feels like, they"

No , Needed

Answer 5

Since you're really not looking for a proofreader, maybe you should change the title of your question. Also, apparently, they'll sell it to anyone who's interested--it's geared to everyone...and leaves you wanting to know more. It worked with you, right? So, whether people realize it or not, it's a teaser designed to pique everyone's interest.