how should I convince my husband to have sex with me?

Question

It's been 7 years since I have been married, we might have had phyisical contact only 12 times,at first being a shy domisicated woman I suffered and kept quiet but now I cant take it anymore,one day I conforted my hubby at night and demanded that i need him to look into my sexual needs more often and satisfy me more, he just laughed and paid no heed...what shouild I do...I have no kids which I desparertly want and also want to be wanted by my hubby please help what should I do

Further to my question He is very a friendly guy andd speaks polietly to me,I have considered leaving him in the past,but am too weak to do so...as I am reaching my mid 30s I always feel its been kinda late to take this step and its scary to live alone once you are getting old

Answer 1

If he has shown no interest in 7 years, there's a great likelihood that it's not going to change. Plus the fact that he laughed at you for having sexual needs.....oooooh that burns me up! My ex did the same thing to me....note, I said EX! There is NOTHING funny about being sexually frustrated! You need to divorce him, find a good man, and have a family....or you could choose to waste your youth like I did....BAD choice!! Good Luck!!

Answer 2

Obviously you don't want to leave. The answers to your question are going to be hard to do but if you love this man enough, and he cooperates, it will be well worth your while. First, take some time to think and then write down 3 things you like about him; 3 things you would like changed; and 3 things you are willing to change. Have him write the same. Set a time after dinner to sit and read each other's and see if you are close. Try open communication. If you would like a baby and he doesn't you can't settle that issue this way. It is way too big an issue! So, the next step would be a counselor to help you. A 'marriage' counselor doesn't just help you put your marriage back on the right track; sometimes the counselor helps the parties to wean from each other. It seems real strange that he is satisfied with so little sex. That lights a light in my head. Do you think he is faithful? Try these things: Do you dress sexy for him? Especially at night? Have you drawn him a bath and given him a massage? Light lots of fragrant candles in the bedroom. You can start the foreplay - sound like you have been waiting for him to do it and he hasn't come through. When he does, is it what you need/ What turns him on? Nightgowns? Slips? Nudity? Find out and keep doing it until it works or get out of the boring marriage! Maybe you should show him your question. Good luck! P.S. You don't have to be married to have a baby of your own body nor to adopt! Do not let him rob you of this!

Answer 3

OMG you actually have to convince your husband to have sex with you. Wow usually women are the ones that dont give sex to their husbands and that is why some men afraid to get married, because we have this thing among females that once we have a ring on our finger we have less sexual desire then we had before we got married. And he laughed when you confronted him. WTF!??? I am sorry but he is a fag or he is ******* someone else. Leave him alone. It may not get better. I know you dont want to hear this and you will never vote my answer as a best answer but i am being honest here. He is going though some stuff and usually it wouldn't be anything innocent like depression or problems at work. We all know sex is a way to have things fixed. Apparently someone else if fixing it for him. Because there is no way in hell a man dont want sex. And like i said unless he is a fag. Leave him. You dont have kids, which is going to be too easy to find you someone else who is future husband material.

Answer 4

Sounds like you are finally realizing that maybe YOU deserve to have good things in your life. Sounds like you are finally ready to start taking care of your own needs. If your husband thinks that's funny then I'd say it's pretty obvious he doesn't agree and doesn't think you're serious.

Don't let your "husband" decide which of your needs are valid or not. If he laughs at your attempt to connect and communicate with him about something that important, then obviously he's so used to the old you - the you that let the rest of the world tell you what you needed. After this much time I'd say he probably will not change.

If you're scared of divorce, I don't blame you but as many here would attest, getting a divorce at 30 is nothing to worry about. Divorce hurts and it's sad but believe me, you can easily find someone else... someone who will love and respect the new emerging you - the you who is looking to take good care of herself. Plenty of us have found happiness later on in life with a different husband who truly cares and loves you. Not some lazy selfish guy who thinks it's funny that you actually have the guts to speak up about what you want and need.

Wanting sex is natural and healthy. Speaking up about it is mature. Lots of healthy mature people out there ready to fall in love.

Answer 5

First of all what kind of marriage do you have? Get rid of this man. You deserve better. This is not a marriage, this is an arrangement he has for his own gratifications. I strongly advise you to file for a divorce under constructive abandonment which means no sex for a year or more. The courts will grant you the divorce because they recognize that there is no marriage without sex. And don't forget to request for alimony for the 7 years you wasted. Good Luck.

Answer 6

Do you actually have a healthy realtionship with this man or do you just live under the same roof? If you do have a relationship, then try sitting him down and having a long discussion, or try counseling, if there is no hope for any relationship, I would consider going my own way. If you get something out of the marriage and can live with it contently, then stay....

Answer 7

Marriage has 2 purposes sex and child if you do not have any of them it is not a marriage at all. In a marriage without sex you can not have any emotion warmth etc. It is not worth. Just once have a detailed talk to know the reason try last time and than say bye bye.

Answer 8

You have married a man that you evidently didn't know to well to begin with. He doesn't love you like a wife, he seems to be more interested in having you as a housekeeper and cook. You cannot force a man to love you and you probably will never see a child come from this man. You need to look at getting rid of this man and finding one who truly loves you and will fulfill your life. Before committing yourself to someone else learn a little more about who they are inside. Good Luck.

Answer 9

Go out on "a date" -- halfway through, smile and whisper in his ear. Let him know that underneath your clothes (wear a skirt) you are wearing nothing. Don't bring it up again with him - just flirt and let him wonder and fantasize for the rest of the evening. If he doesn't pounce when you get home, you have some tough discussions ahead. If things don't turn out well, you need to kindly ask him what's going on. Let him know that you are aware that things aren't normal & healthy in your physical relationship and that you are taking one last shot at working through it with him. If he laughs, walk out. If he comes up with some serious issues, do as you promised and try to work through it with him. If you have stood by for 7 years, you must really care about him. However, don't let him rob you of motherhood and other things that you really care about.

Answer 10

Hmm, well that's weird that your husband doesn't seem interested, and the fact that he laughed is not a good sign. Have you tried setting the mood? Maybe light some candles and wait for him in some lingerie? If that doesn't work then I don't think anything will. And then you need to talk to him some more about you, because it's not okay for him to only care about himself.