I have two friends, "John" and "Mary". I have been friends with them since High school, we're 24-25, they are marreid to each other. However things have not been going well receintly and Mary has confided to me that she is preparing to leave and divorce him. But she does not want him to know until she filles for the divorce.
How could I tell him without having to outright say "Marys leaving you". Maybe if he knows he could try to change and stop it. I know that they will want me to choose which of them I will continue to be a friend to. And it would have to be one or the other. This knowlage is tearing me up inside.
What should I do?
2007-03-18 06:11:43 · 5 answers · asked by cal_katman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You are friends with both - if either tries to confide in you, stop them right away and remind them that they are out of line asking you to take sides or keep secrets from the other. You need to "lay into" Mary for doing that to you - point out that if John finds out that you knew anything, she has destroyed your relationship with him. The next time you are with the 2 of them, announce that you are not keeping secrets and it appears that there is something they need to discuss privately. Look at Mary and say "you know what I'm talking about" and leave. Mary will be mad at you, but she deserves it for discussing it with you before her husband. She was disloyal to her husband and disloyal to your friendship.
2007-03-18 06:24:50 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Long story short...tell "John" that "Mary" has shared with you something important that you were asked not to share with him. Then, let "John" go to "Mary" and let her decide what to do from there. She might be mad at you...but she should not have put you in this situation to begin with.
2007-03-18 06:25:10 · answer #2 · answered by japarino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't. You let her tell him, because it's not your business. And in the future, do not think of yourself as the go-between. You can be friends with both of them. If they push you otherwise, you shouldn't be friends with either of them.
2007-03-18 06:18:14 · answer #3 · answered by Ask Aunt Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you tell him that puts you on the spot.and she will never talk to you.if you can tell him to keep an eye on her cz what ever.you may be his new love.and you don't want to take sides. so it looks to me like clam up. don't say a word.you need to get out for this. but it may be a good thing for you to talk to her to see if you can fix it for them. man that would be cool
2007-03-18 06:27:59 · answer #4 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you talk to her and tell her she needs to tell him, because being both her friend and his you do not feel comfortable keeping this from him.
2007-03-18 06:25:25 · answer #5 · answered by froggiesheshe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋