I am wanting to move out of state. This is something I have wanted for a long time now. My husband refuses to move and rants on about how "crazy" I am. He says he doesnt want to move from here and he isnt going anywhere with me cause I control his life.Thats what he seems to believe or either uses it as an excuse because has a 16 year old son he wouldnt wanna leave behind. He gets so upset when I bring it up and now will just respond by saying "bye,go". I know for a fact that he doesnt believe I will leave without him. We have three kids together(13,8,4) and they too do not want to leave but if I leave, they leave although I know it would hurt them to leave without daddy. Taking his son would not be the answer b/c we dont really get along too much. Well anyway, do you think I am crazy for wanting and willing to split the family up cause he doesnt wanna go? This is something I have wanted for a long time and I know it would also make his son happy that I am out of the way.
2007-03-18 05:50:13 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well things havent been good for us anyway. We argue everday and thats not good for the kids to hear either so in a way I am thinking of my kids.
2007-03-18 05:56:35 · update #1
There is nothing wrong fulfilling your dream but there are a million things wrong with you putting the happiness of your family secondary to yours. You may be going through difficult times with your husband but leaving him is not the answer. Your children need their father and taking them away from him will not make them happier than they are already. Please stay,you will regret it later if you go. Problems are a part of life you can not solve them by running away. All you need to do is to shower your man with love even convicts have been known to respond to love.
2007-03-18 06:30:00 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are married now and you have to decide as a couple what you are going to do. You cannot make the choice to move out of state just because you have always wanted to do it. If the whole family doesn't agree then you don't go. Ask your husband for some sort of compromise like visit the state you want to live in a few times a year or something like that. I think you will be making a big mistake if you pick up and move against everyones wishes.
Good luck!
2007-03-18 05:54:49 · answer #2 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must some reason that is compelling you to want to
leave State, But it may be in the best Interest for the family
unity for you to stay. As unhappy as you may be with your current location , The Grass isnt always as greener elswhere .
Maybe if you took a Break "Alone" to the State you have in Mind and get a chance to feel out the area some before you make such a Dramatic change. If you like what you discover in a new state then maybe moving alone for now will be an Easier transition for children and regular visits to you may Help them accept a more permanent relocation !
2007-03-18 06:03:43 · answer #3 · answered by Dalyon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should think about whether or not it is worth leaving your husband behind, if you do leave your husband your kids will suffer the most and it is not worth it. If you are not happy with your marriage then yes leave him but dont use the fact that you always wanted to move out of state as an excuse. If you love your husband then you should be willing to wait untill he is ready to move, his son will soon be an adult which should make his choice easier. and btw his son wouldn't be happy if his dad is unhappy which he will be if you and his other kids leave him.
2007-03-18 06:00:47 · answer #4 · answered by ad121ana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you married him knowing he had a son, what is he supposed to do-leave him behind like a male dog leaves it pups?
you also know you will be taking the children you have away from their father, what gives you the selfish right to destroy all these peoples happiness for your own selfishness?
you do sound controlling, he is right. what man will protect the children like their own father? you'll be one more single mom with 3 kids nobody wants. their lifestyle will suffer also, what kind of house could you provide? I guess you expect the man you left to support all of you? Instead go on vacation with your husband, to the state you are thinking about, w/out the kids if possible, and see for yourself it's not the answer to all your problems. Or mabey he would like it, but still there are jobs to think about.
2007-03-18 05:59:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a good thing for you are the family, it sounds like the whole issue revolves around the 16 year old son.I don't know what the problem with the son is but it's not worth ending a marriage over. You and your husband need to see a marriage counselor.
2007-03-18 05:58:00 · answer #6 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you just want to leave home, then your husband is right, you need to pack up and go. If there's a specific place you want to be or a certain thing you want to do, you need to 'sell' them on the idea, not just whine about being restless. Maybe to him your adventure just means starting a job hunt in a strange place with no familiar contacts. Try and look at it from his point of view and see if the move is still practical.
2007-03-18 05:56:07 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to leave so badly? I'd rather live somewhere else, but I would never consider doing that to my family. Can't you wait until you retire to move - or at least until the kids are older? In my opinion, I'd have to say you sound a bit self-absorbed about this - you are the only one who would benefit, and that isn't okay when you have kids involved.
2007-03-18 05:55:32 · answer #8 · answered by applebetty34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really seems selfish on your part to split up the family. You are only thinking of yourself. When you had kids, you should have known that putting them first would be priority. It seems in everyones best interest for you to just stay put.......at least until the kids are grown......and if you still feel the same way, then think about it again.
2007-03-18 05:55:05 · answer #9 · answered by Felicia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you moving for the right reasons? Sounds to me that you want to move away from his son, why don't wait until the son turns 18 then move. Also sounds like you and your husband are not getting along very well if you two decide to fight please don't do it in front of your kids.
2007-03-18 06:01:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋