Why has my mentality changed?

Question

I used to be a girl, and most people considered me a "butch lesbian" and I used to date lesbians.
Now, I'm in transition to male, and I pass really really well, but going through this transition and seeing others reactions and opinions (wanted or not) has jaded me. Lesbians now, are so concerned with maintaining their "lesbian image" to their friends, that they can't be seen with someone like me anymore. Even though just a few years ago, when I was a "butch lesbian" they thought I was the greatest thing since sliced bread. The narrow mindedness, the hypocricy and all..it just frustrates and disgusts me. I no longer have an interest in the gay community. Is this wrong? I feel like I'm turning my back on my community, but in a way, they've turned their backs on me.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry you've had these experiences. It's probably because I only really have ties to the online community, but I've seen in butch-femme.com and particularly butch-femme.co.uk that the lesbians there are immensely respectful and kind towards FtM's and very loving. I really think you should head over there and let them pamper and soothe you, because I don't want you to be jaded and frustrated.

It certainly isn't wrong to reject a community that doesn't seem to provide any support for you. I know that a lot of transsexuals feel that once they transition, there's really nothing that ties them to the gay community anymore- the commonality is gone. Just remember that there are lots of great people in the GLBT community. We aren't all bad seeds like the hypocritical lesbians who've burned you.

I don't know that it's so much that your mentality has changed. Rather, you've stayed the same, and it's everyone else whose mentality has changed in response to your physical change. It's unfortunate.

You have all my sympathies and hope that things brighten up.

Answer 2

Might be the differences between being a lesbian because you are, and being one because its popular I guess. Seems that females can play on both sides of the fence why us males typically can't do that. Well atleast I can't. Ether way could also be a consiquence of the fact that most social interactions nowadays are really... shallow... so that your dealing with the fact that noone is going to understand your plight enought to be able to accept you. That aside the change of your mentality is most likly been a very long process. Something that only someone else who's gone thru that same sort of imprinting would realing be able to relate to you so I hope they anser your question, too. But I guess it would all be an easy change if everyone else was supportive. Of course it could of also been your pick in friends too. I mean I'm not a lesbian but I love people who show a charater thats lovable... good people in other words rock, you sound like a good person, why it is that your friends would think that your not going to be a good person anymore is confusing. And the only place it makes sense if they are not really friends, just fellow lesbians.... which would be a sad reason to only have friendships with these people. So it could also be a case were your mature within yourself, but they havn't made that step yet, time to find new friends buddy. I wouldn't go so far as to say its the gay community thou, its just those people you use to consider your friends. Not any group as a whole thats just sterotypical now!