I have been with my boy friend five years now, When we first met he had a facial disfigurement, And I say past that where others did not. Three years ago he had reconstrutive surgery, It was after that I caught him cheating on me, He say's he isent doing it any more that I am the best thing in his life. But I just have this filling that he is still cheating. Why do I stay, When I fill so torn inside, I do love him very much, Yet I am so afraid he is going to hurt me again.
2007-03-18 04:58:53 · 17 answers · asked by mystictoad 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You want to know why you stay. I know why I did it. It was a mixture of love, which was very strong and investment ( I felt like having worked through all the crying and shouting and such from the cheating that it should all be worth something). What I can tell you is that what you had was good and you would like that to continue, you have happy memories of good times and all that. You have that now. Every time he cheats and you take him back, it diminishes the good times. I did not leave until the pain had worn down all the good times. The bad feeling mounted up until they outweighed the happy memories. If you want keep the happy memories happy, you have to leave before they ae ruined. That or trust that he is faithful and cross your fingers like the rest of us.
2007-03-18 05:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by Crabby Patty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you already have the answer that you want to know, you love him but at the same time your afraid that he or already cheated on you. If you don't want to be hurt again, you love him enough to let him go. sit with him and tell him that you don't like the feelings that your having right now, ask him to give the two of you a little break from each others, and maybe he will realize what he wants in life and so do you.
Life is to short,so decide whats best for you, not what's best for him,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,good luck
2007-03-18 12:15:08 · answer #2 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, I am breaking all types of male rules. First rule don't cock block, #2nd don't be a hater, #...always refer to first two rules. With that said. If he cheated on you after you took him when no one else wanted him, i.e. bashed up face, then he will either do it again, or just leave you the next time. Life is to short to waste. Don't throw good money after bad, trying to make more. Breaking that down is this, don't throw the future away, trying make the past happy or worth it the effort.
If you take my advice, then I've broken rule #1, cause he ain't getting IT anymore.
2007-03-18 12:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by socialanimal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship that lacks trust, isn't much of a relationship. Either learn to trust him (get counseling if needed, for you or you both), or move on. As things are, you keep yourself miserable by worrying about his fidelity, whether he's actually cheating or not.
This life is too short to waste it being anxious and unhappy, especially when it's within our power to change that and be happy. When are you going to decide you are worthy of happiness, and then give yourself permission to be happy?
2007-03-18 12:05:56 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HUN, IF YOU THINK HE'S CHEATING THEN YOU MUST REALLY HAVE A REASON. WHY BE WITH SOMEONE YOU SAY YOU LOVE IF HE IS A CHEATER. MY EX WAS VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH ME, I KNOW THAT, BUT OMG WAS HE A CHEATER.... I FINALLY LEFT HIM AND LET ME TELL YOU I WAS THE BEST HE EVER HAD. HE REALIZED WHAT HE LOST, BUT IN MY HEART IT WAS TO LATE. I KNEW I DESERVED BETTER. I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT HIM, BUT I KNEW LIFE WAS WAY TO SHORT TO WASTE MY TIME NOT KNOWING WHAT HE WAS DOING WHEN HE WASN'T WITH ME. HE HAS NOW BEEN MARRIED 3 TIMES SINCE ME. I'M GLAD I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. IT WASN'T EASY, BUT I WANTED MORE IN MY LIFE. REMEMBER WITHOUT TRUST YOU HAVE NOTHING.. DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF GETTING MARRIED, BECAUSE IT WILL BE HARDER FOR YOU. FOLLOW YOUR FEELINGS!! I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST OF LUCK SWEETIE KATHY
2007-03-18 12:16:17 · answer #5 · answered by kathy p 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you want to stay with a man that cheats, you probably have a very low self esteem.. do you think you wont be able to find someone any better out there? i think i would want to be single before i was with a cheater. Remember in order to find the right one, we have to get rid of the wrong one. he must be filling one of your needs and making you somewhat happy on some level or you wouldnt want to be with him. find out what he is doing for you that makes you want to stay with him and seek that out in another man.
2007-03-18 12:03:09 · answer #6 · answered by COULDbCRAZY 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can answer that question you will make millions selling your book. Women stay in horrible relationships, even to the point of getting beat to death, and no one has been able to figure out why. It is just one of the many mysteries of life.
2007-03-18 12:10:29 · answer #7 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you know he really does love you and deep down you are afraid you might not find love again. I would just encourage you to look for happiness and calm for yourself for awhile, because nobody can endure long feeling "torn inside" and afraid of being hurt like you are. You will find a better life and a better relationship, just have confidence and faith.
2007-03-18 12:09:26 · answer #8 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER! If you feel that's he's cheating, he probably is. Do you think he's the only one out there for you? Pfft...life is too short to waste on people that will treat you like $hit.
2007-03-18 12:13:02 · answer #9 · answered by qtpie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
love possesses u. well i have to say u gotta trust him. ur right tho he prob is cheating on u. sorry :( but im not sure...just confront him and ask. and im curious, what actually happened to his face in the first place? plz answer me...u can just write it in the details portion of ur question. thanx. i will then be able to answer ur question in more details.
hope i helped and DONT CHEAT ON HIM! por favor! :)
2007-03-18 12:13:31 · answer #10 · answered by HL 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋