We are both 16 and she ran away from home last night and is staying at one of her female friends house. Her dad recently returned from Iraq and they've had a lot of arguments and he's been drinking quite a bit. She ran away after a particularly bad argument, according to her friend. She has been listening to this song called Runaway Love a lot and she keeps telling me how good and sad it is. The songs lyrics talk about young girls being abused by their fathers and unhappy. I didn't read anything into it because she hasn't seemed depressed or anything, and i haven't noticed any bruises or cuts. I haven't had the chance to talk to her yet. I'm male and a close friend of hers but not her boyfriend. We talk a lot about private things and our pasts and im quite sure that she trusts me a lot.
Basically i want some advice on how to ask her if her Dad has ever hit her, how to to do it so she won't feel like she has to lie if he does and how to tell if she's telling the truth.
2007-03-18 04:55:00 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
mind your own business
2007-03-18 04:58:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have her trust you are definately on the right track. Remember that abuse can also be verbal and emotional. It's not just the physical that is wrong or hurtful. I've heard people say that they would rather be beaten then have to deal with the emotional abuse that can cause everlasting damage. At least the bruises go away was the reasoning behind their statement.Either way it's very wrong and if you have reason to believe she is in immediate danger talk to her about getting help now, before it's too late.
I know it's hard to broach the subject , hard to find the right words but you are a good friend to her. Trust your friendship. She may not be able to open up all at once so maybe you could start by bringing up the obvious . She ran away , which indicates a problem. You know she had an argument with her father. Reaffirm your friendship and let her know that you are there for her and want to help. If she won't open up at that point you need to leave it for a bit .... she's not ready to talk. Spend time with her if you can ... just as you always have ... no pressure.Very often when people are abused they blame themselves and so are reluctant to talk to anyone because they feel shame or guilt.She needs someone just like you in her life. The right words in the right moment will come.Keep a close eye on her to make sure her situation has not gotten worse and if you can try talking to your aprents about this. They may know of some help centers in your area or people that can provide more help for your friend. If her father is abusive then her situation is too big for you to handle alone.
You are an amazing guy , she's very fortunate to have you as a friend !! I wish you and your friend all the best , take care : )
2007-03-18 05:35:27 · answer #2 · answered by uncle louie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find an opportune time and with all due seriousness and candor, explain the thoughts and concerns you have. If you can ground the discussion with a real life fact surrounding another friend who has come forward or a local news story where this got carried to the next level and did even more damage, you stand a better chance of getting a factual answer.
2007-03-18 05:01:22 · answer #3 · answered by Scott 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I here what u r sayin. My BF got stabbed 5 times when he was 7 and was out of school 4 months. Turns out I called him 2 c what was wrong and he told me. Now he lives with me. HOW IRONIC. But dont make the same approach I did. Start a conversation about maybe a TV show where that happens or that song. Then talk bout that 4 a while and them just come out and ask her.
2007-03-18 05:06:00 · answer #4 · answered by JJ JAMZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just get really close to her and then maybe she can trust you enough. But you have to be able to keep a secret and do not tell ANYONE unless its like the police or something or maybe he is just trying to hit her and she hides there is so many hints to so many things. Good Luck!!!!!!!!
2007-03-18 12:05:51 · answer #5 · answered by Hayley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she have a mother ? grandparents ?
this is NOT something you are going to handle yourself.
Be supportive but dont get into the middle of it.
If he gets physical she should call the police.
2007-03-18 05:04:51 · answer #6 · answered by mark 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will tell you one day, if it's meant for you to know.
2007-03-18 05:03:39 · answer #7 · answered by Solar Ball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋