I am verbally abused,no job(housewife/mom) need hysterectomy-waiting to get surgery,I don't really want advise as much as I need to know if anyone else get's belittled daily? ignored, shood away when your talking ?etc.?? I am not financially set to leave at present, guess I need to know I'm not alone in this,getting very depressed w/ all I put up w/ he drink's too, does'nt help. I also, do feel for anyone else feeling this way,lonely & alone.Thanx for any feedback!!
2007-03-18 04:44:01 · 24 answers · asked by mgle3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ahh... come here... take a seat *pats chair next to her*
Welcome to my FORMER world.
You don't want advice but I'm going to give you some.
I wasn't financially set up. I kicked my no-good abusive/violent compulsive liar deadbeat gambling ex-husband out almost a year ago now (I can get my divorce in April).
By sticking around (or allowing him to) you are setting a bad example for your children. Your sons will treat women like dirt, no matter how many times you tell them to respect women. Your daughters will allow men to treat them like dirt. Children learn by watching their parents.
I felt I owed it to myself and my little boy to make a better/safer life for the both of us...
I understand if you stay, sometimes it's easier... but I'll be thinking of you and hoping for your luck to change so you can be rid of this beast.
2007-03-18 05:04:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
I was in a marriage that was both physically and mentally abusive. He finally left me without a job and a small child to raise. I had to stay with my mom a few months and found a job. I didn't know where to go at that time. You need to check into a battered woman's shelter. They will know where to send you for the help you need. The will help you find a job or have you trained for one. They will help you find a place to live for you and your children. You can also check at your local social service. You may qualify for medicaid to have the surgery you need. You can get a restraining order so he can't harass you or your children. Get out now before it gets any worse and it will. He will never change.
2007-03-18 12:01:27 · answer #2 · answered by tabbycat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you didn't ask for any men's comments, but please understand that all men aren't alike. This one you chose is just one of the selfish childish individuals that may never grow up. Don't feel despair in this. Call on your family and good friends to physically and morally support you through this. And DO NOT put up with abuse, verbal or physical! You deserve better than that. It robs you of your self esteem and self respect. Never believe that you are alone as long as you have people that care. If we can't help physically we can still pray for you. God Bless you in your time of need.
2007-03-18 12:05:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to have that but now I have a wonderful husband. I had a fiance that drank all the time, cheated on me repeatedly and shoved me around. Not to mention all the nasty things he would say to me. Which hurts far worse than the bruises. I hope you know that you are worth more and so are your children. Do the best you can and get out when you can, you derserve more. Feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to. I am no expert but I am a good listener.
2007-03-18 11:52:00 · answer #4 · answered by loudmouth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship and my (now ex) treated me like crap. I too, was verbally abused. I tolerated it for many years because I didn't have the resources to get away. To be made to feel stupid, crazy, or ignored is horrible.
I finally got out when my children were almost out of the house. When I left, they supported me and said they could never understand why I put up with it.
I wish you the best. You're in a tough situation. Try to find a chat room where women who have been in similar situations can help you deal with your problem. Good luck.
2007-03-18 11:51:56 · answer #5 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand where you are coming from. My late husband use to verbally abuse me. But only when he was drunk. He got very sick and the doctor told him that he had to quit. He really changed. Before this he didn't work. I supported us and when I walked in the door from work he'd be drunk and ask what's for supper. I thought about divorcing him many times but I hung in there. He was sober for 5 years and they were the best years we had together. Then he had a massive heart attack and passed away. There is always hope out there we just have to find it. Good Luck!!!
2007-03-18 11:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of women will be caught in this situation at a certain stages of life. Today's world is moving too fast. It had stress out a lot of ppl. Making them to vent their anger/stress on their families, taking for granted tat tat's what a family for. Tat would cause a lot of families problems, society problems...
As a woman, i too, got into this situation a few years ago. Got ignored and not financially set to break from it. Depressed, lonely and alone to face it ( I thought then). Dont know where and who to turn to. But luckily, I got 2 wonderful kids, even though they were quite young then. They listened to me even thought they dont understand what i said then. They'll comforted me when they saw that I'm sad. It's their little little actions and concern tat show me tat I'm not alone. With all tat, I finally got the courage, sat down with my husband to talk abt my feelings ( Of course with his full attention on me). Finally we got it all sort out. Now we are enjoying our family life. Hope tat my story helps and good luck.
2007-03-18 12:24:08 · answer #7 · answered by Joy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bless your heart. I don't know if you have friends or family that you can stay with but you might want to consider finding a local domestic violence refuge for women. There you can receive lots of resources and references for counseling, employment training, govt assistance if needed, women support groups etc... and all of this is FREE. It wouldn't hurt to look into a local shelter. You will be in good hands while in the company of other female victims like yourself. You worthy of a better life. Good luck.
2007-03-18 14:11:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure there are a lot of women out there whom are as hurt as you are. But they still live on with their heads up by supporting themselves. They try to find jobs to work at home if their kids are still young or they go out to work if their children are big enough to take care of themselves.
I can understand a housewife/mom whom is not working and everything depends on the working husband. I am one myself until recently I found a part-time job. This really helps in our financial problems more or less.
He has his own stress working life and a lot of things is weighing on his shoulders. Example, workplace, houseloan,
PUB bills, credit card bills, children education etc etc.
So lets not grumble and try to help him in this so called burden together. We will see the brighter side when our children grow older.
Good luck to us!
2007-03-18 12:00:28 · answer #9 · answered by Cutebunny 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It only took me 29 years to get tired of it enough to get out. Don't waste the time I did. He'll have to pay support and a lot of it if you have health issues. Just go talk to an attorney. First visit is free in most cases. See what can be done to help you. Good Luck and God Bless
2007-03-18 11:51:29 · answer #10 · answered by moonrose777 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋