How can you tell if a man has the potential to be an emotional abuser?

Question

from twice bitten experience they start off so charming and almost hypnotise you into thinking its yourself that is at fault. Then insecurity sets in and self doubt. It all happens so slowly.

Answer 1

All men have the potential to be so. You will now a good man if he makes you feel good without expecting something in return. The only way to discern this is time.

Like you said, these things happen slowly, therefore you must take it easy with relationships. A good man always waits for you because it is the person he cares about and not an agenda.

Let him prove himself to be a good man rather than looking for signs that he might be a bad one.

Answer 2

Unfortunately it is very difficult to identify potential abusive tendencies. As previous answers have stated, abusers are often described as perfectly "charming" during the initial stages of the relationship but suddenly and dramatically change character when the woman has made a commitment to the relationship. It is believed that the man then sees the woman as his property and thus is free to treat her as he sees fit. Emotional abuse is an effective way to manipulate the victim into severing all ties with the outside world and lowering self-esteem, all methods designed to bind the victim to her abuser more fully.

Early signs of a controlling nature may be indicative of future abuse. The man may take an interest in minute details of the woman's appearance and pass comment on them. He may take the lead in suggesting and carrying out activities. Finding out the reason for past breakups may help create an idea of how likely the person is to become abusive. Sadly, it is often the case that there is no indication before the first incident of abuse. The best advice to give someone in doubt is to never accept excuses for abusive behaviour. Even if the abuser displays intense regret for their actions, when a person crosses that line they are more likely to do it again in future. If a man is violent, pathologically jealous or controlling, the best way to escape a pattern of systematic abuse is to leave immediately and resist any further advances he may make.

Answer 3

You know what I've noticed about this sort of people - if you just give them a chance to think that you can be abused (I know it sounds wrong, but you don't even realise how they interpret your behaviour), - they'll kick you emotionally again and again. And the more you are trying to "understand" them putting your eyes down - the more often experience will repeat. And if you go for the honest talk with them - they'll be the victim and you'll be the abuser. So I would recommend If you felt "that kick" for the first time and you didn't like it - just turn your back on them. Never try "to understand" or "to help", you will always be the victim with the sign "guilty" on the forehead in that kind of relationship. Not healthy.

Answer 4

Sounds stupid, but does he have any pets and if so , what type of relationship does he have with these pets. Usually guys that are good pet owners (responsible, caring, sensitive) are half way decent folk. Also does he have a good relationship with his parents. A child who grows up in an abusive family will more likely be an abuser. If the family is still tight and healthy, then chances are this wasn't going on in his youth. Also has he had a long list of ex-girlfriends. Some guys date alot because they prefer it that way vs. other guys have to keep moving onto the next victim because that last one got wise and bolted.

Answer 5

At this element being which you have experienced this habit you're able to understand the signs and indications. For one enable it is a telephone communication for a week or so, get to take heed to the signs and indications until now each and every thing. Ask particular questions that way at circumstances you will discover out in the event that they're controlling and possessive. lots of the time all of those signs and indications are displaying a guy being egocentric as nicely as having a shallowness difficulty. additionally you should nicely known what you pick in a courting until now you get entangled with them. you will possibly be able to ought to regroup for a jointly as and understand what it rather is you're attempting to learn. you're particular bear in recommendations that understand remember what, i understand a persons' previous can mirror the place we would flow in our life time. you pick to be greater effective than what you have experienced and you deserve greater effective than what you have experienced. merely fall back and take it sluggish examine a number of your circumstances and you will see the place you should terrific your errors interior the close to destiny. lots of the time you should verify the guy as nicely, including his physique language, his tone, and his overall character as nicely because of the fact the corporate he keeps. Take care and be conscious and stay centred.

Answer 6

If you have the feeling that he might be, then he probably is. Trust your gut feeling.

Like others said, watch how you feel when you are around him, watch how he treats others (I'd especially watch what his attitude is toward his mother, it's with her that he learned his attitudes towards all women), watch how he treats children and animals.

If he does say something that hurts your feelings, watch how he responds when you tell him -- and do tell him. Is he sorry or does he keep putting you down?

In other words, if he acts like a jerk, he is a jerk.

And life is too short to put up with a**holes.

Answer 7

That could be for both men and women remember as it's not always the men that abuse is it

Look for warning signs:
Temper
Possessiveness
Does he put you down in Front of people or when you are
alone?
If I see these signs I;d be gone.

Answer 8

Take a look at this site all about mr unavailables! I have found that this is a pattern of mine too, and I know that like attracts like so I'm seeing a therapist now and concentrating on making me happy. x

Answer 9

The first signs are that he cuts you off from your emotional support system. Friends, family etc. Once you pick this up - get out.

Answer 10

you can look for signals... how does he treat people around him, the ones he doesn't know well? i am talking about waiters, taxi drivers, similar... is he offensive or rude? also, if he has some unresolved issues with himself, if he seems manipulative... but still, you can never tell... there are some signals, but they can be very well hidden. that's what the problem is with most abusive people.