I have a problem. How do I tell my husband in a nice way that i want a divorce??

Question

We tried many times to workout our fail marriage,,..but only to get on each others nerves more. Now my baby gal of 2yrs became the victim. Torn schedule, spent time either with me or him. In short, chemistry between us died. Life at home is dull and miserable. Only way to see smiles and laughter is when we each r w/o each other and playing with baby gal. Went thru counselling,spoken to Pastor and friends,etc..no use. How do i get my husband to understand and accept tis fact? It hurts me lots to give up. But what other choice do i have? I felt treating him a friend is easier than a husband.

Answer 1

Your decision probably won't come as a huge surprise to him, even if he doesn't want to get divorced at this time.

For all your sake's, if you've made the effort you have claimed to make, and the situation still isn't good then do go your separate ways. All you are doing by staying together is emotionally hurting each other, and your child. Kids are very perceptive, they know when life isn't all happy and sunshine at home.

Do both of you (adults) a favor and move on so you each have the opportunity to make your own happiness either alone or with someone who is a better match than you are to each other now. All three of you will be better off in the long run.

Simply tell your husband that although the two of you have tried to make things work, it's just not changed anything and for everyone's emotional good, you believe the two of you would be better parents and friends, than husband and wife.

Answer 2

I for a long time I lived the same way and wonder the same thing..How do I tell my husband after 9yrs I didn't want to be with him anymore???We have two children/daughters 6 and 7yrs old. We had some good time and we had some bad times..I would want to leave him if we were fighting and put our problems on the back burning when we were not fighting...One day we were fighting telling each other how much we hated one another and some other really awful things when I just came out with it "Please just leave me and the girls the house and move out" I explained to him the girls were in a good school, I could afford the house with out any help from him, I agreed to joint parenting were he nor I would have to pay the other one child support. At first he was like no if you want to leave then you leave but me and the girls are going to live here. Of course I couldn't just up and move in the middle of the school yr. I explained this to him but he could have cared less...After a few hrs he came to me ask me were I being for real when I explained I was real and this is how I felt he agreed and with in a few weeks he was out of the house and we have a better relationship than ever now.

Answer 3

You could take him to Hawaii for a wild weekend and then go to the airport and tell him hes leaving but youre staying. If only things were that easy. There is no such thing as an easy way to tell your spouse its over. As bad as it sounds, the best bet here is to just be straight forward and honest. He may not like it but at least he has to honor your honesty with him. Dont stand with him and get into an argument. Just tell him and give him a little while to accept what you just told him. Try to remain friends with him as its easier and cheaper if you can can sit down and work out the details, especially with a daughter involved. Itll also come into help later on down the road. Divorce is a change in lifestyle and change doesnt always come easy to everyone. In fact, change can hurt like hell sometimes for everyone involved so just try to minimize the pain, but tell him and move on. Sorry about your marriage and good luck in your and your daughters future. Also in divorce court, unless ruled unfit, mom usually is awarded custody with support and dad gets state mandated visits.

Answer 4

Can you just live seperately from each other for a while?ANy ways there is no way for you to be polite nd put the magical word divorce in a nice way. Even your lover turns mad if you use this word. I know people who were in love with each other adn as soon as they decided to get divorced, they turn against each other. You can not stop the consequencwes of having divorce adn going through it eaily. DIvorce is an awful process but make it as best and as fast as possible if you really think it is not worth living with some one in such a way!Do not make kids involved in this process either!Just go see a family lawyer before you even mention the word Divorce to you partner, be ready and prepared for any thing! Get enough support. DO not leave that house since you have kids. Ask for full custody if you think you can raise your own kids on your own! Good luck because it would be a long way to go

Answer 5

I agree w/ others, there is no nice way to do this. But you must be honest and open w/ your husband. Let him know how you are feeling, but avoid the blame game. Let him know that you do love him, but as a friend. I admire you both for at least trying to salvage your marriage. It's a tragedy when two people who once loved and committed to a life time together don't make it. But no one is to blame for that. Sometimes as people grow, they grow apart. You will be fine, but continue to seek counseling through this situation, and maybe you should get some professional advice on how to effectively communicate these feeling to your husband. Good luck to you and may God bless you, your husband and your little girl.

Answer 6

There is no nice way to tell him that you want to end the mariage. It comes down to this: do you both really want to stay together and be miserable, or separate and let the healing process begin. For the sake of the child, you have to make something happen. If he is in denial of the problem, then try a temporary separation to start with and see how things go. If worse comes to worse, file for divorce and let the judge sort it out. Good Luck

Answer 7

Maybe you both grew up. and life is no fun any more for you. It happens.
Why destroy ,your marriage, because you feel it has no pupose?
You have a child, dosen't that ,matter? Why take away a childs happiness, just because, you aren't happy.
Its called sacrifices. Maybe you are trying to hard to make it work.
Sometimes, things like this work themselfs out. 2yrs is not enough time.
Its take the both of you, to make it work. Apparently, one of you, is afraid, or doesn't want it to work. So one of you is looking for an excuse, to end it.
So look to yourself ,you may find the answer from within. You both need to support each other, till it passes. Your also finding out marriage, isn't as easy as one may have thought.

Answer 8

Marriage is not perfect.I have met alot of elders with long marriages that tell me that there had been alot of ups and downs.That they had fallen in and out of love with each a few times.You said it yourself its not just about you now the babys future is involved too.I have been a divorced Mom for 17 yrs now.And it hasnt been easy at all!If its about the chemistry then go to the Dr. Laura Berman website.She is a very good sex therapist.

Answer 9

All marriages have their ups and downs. Recent research using a large national sample found that 86 percent of people who were unhappily married in the late 1980s, and stayed with the marriage, indicated when interviewed five years later that they were happier. Indeed, three fifths of the formerly unhappily married couples rated their marriages as either "very happy" or "quite happy."

I do not know your situation, how long you have been married and how long you have had problems, but getting divorced is hard on children, especially one that is only 2. Maybe it is because you concentrate on how horrible it is or whatnot.

Answer 10

oh this is very sad. for your baby girl especially. but you both need to sit down and talk about your feelings openly and honestly together without your child being around and have a real heart to heart. the only way you should leave this relationship is to truly know that you have tried your very best to make it work and that you are 100% sure that you want out. are you sure that there is nothing else that you can do? if so, then he will in time learn to accept this, it will no doubt be hard but sometimes these things happen. i have great sympathy for you and hope that it all works out for you. but you must communicate and be VERY honest both with yourself and him.