Why do I keep ending up in destructive relationships?

Question

Any strategies on how to break the cycle please?

I ended what i did not realise was emotionally abusive relationship 5 years ago. was alone and strong throughout once regained my inner peace. Only to find myself falling into same trap with a similar man.

Answer 1

Good insight to ask the question. You know something is wrong, want to change it, and are looking for a way.

It begins with you. There are so many reasons why someone would continue to get into bad relationships it would take an hour to discuss it.

So, until you get help:

Take a major break from relationships for a while.
Take this time to learn to enjoy your own company.
Talk with a therapist. If you don't get down to the reason why and correct it, history is bound to repeat itself.

Oh, one last thing: Lovers are not "fixer uppers"; either you are getting the total package of what you want in a lover or pass them up. You can not fix them, so don't get hurt trying.

Good luck and God Speed!

Answer 2

relationships as an adult/young person are based on those you grew up knowing as a child. the result from this is you either chose the same pattern which you grew up seeing or chose the opposite. i was more passive when growing up and now in a relatioship that i can (only now) see is very similar to my parents ( a relationship i wasnt too keen on when growing up because of the way my dad treated my mom) my sis on the other hand is more defiant than me and has fully rejected my parents type of relationship and so far has ended up with only good guys...

take a look at the type of person you are and your previous (family- parents, aunts uncles, sis/bro etc ) relationship

theres also the theory that some people are givers and others are takers...

Answer 3

A good relationship requires trust,and kindness towards each other, one side mistreating the other ruins this, you need to find some one with at least something in common, so you can do things you enjoy together, help each other when ever you can, do not take the p out of them, do not nag etc, Do not take for granted, you have to work at it but that is the fun and it is so worthwhile, I have been in my present relationship for over 40 years and we have done all sorts together, she even helped me do some building work just to show how that extra mile can help.
You also need to like each other as well as love, inf act love is not even necessary.
Don't reach too high or go too low.

good luck.

Answer 4

Depends on what your looking for, you have developed a pattern for certain type's of people apparently, and only you have the choice to stop it. You might also be bringing in baggage from previous relationships or your own level of self-esteem into the new relationships, that is detrimental to the new relationship.
You must look at the hard questions, and judge yourself as another is seeing you for the first time.

Answer 5

The common deonominator with these relationshisp is you so you need to work on you. Before you get in another relationship, I would suggest you get into some therapy and take a break from dating for a nice while. We get caught up in drama, but happy is really the best high there is.

Answer 6

Because that is a pattern you have got yourself into.
Take a good look at what attracts you to a person and have a rethink about which qualities you should be looking for.

You need to completely change your outlook and take more time to get to know people before you get involved with them..

Sorry if I sound condescending, dont mean to, but have been there! Am happy now...

Answer 7

One possible reason is that you have low self-esteem and you believe you don't deserve any better.

Another reason is that you're so afraid to be alone that you'll put up with just about anything.

Be strong, be proud of yourself...Being alone and sad for a short time can have a refining influence on us all.

Answer 8

You are probably just picking the wrong person each time. Stop, think. What do you really want in a relationship? Got it? Good...now go find that person, not the next "bad boy" who pops into your head!

Answer 9

Is he older than her? this is often the case with stuff like this. often the boy is sixteen or 17. Anywho, i'm sorry approximately your daughter and what you ought to bypass with the aid of as a mom. i'm guessing you have had the controversy together with her already. yet i think of you are able to desire to be greater aggressive together with her ( no longer bodily, of direction ). i think of you are able to desire to a million. Take her to counseling. for sure she has different problems. Her self esteem themes, for one. a woman with a healthful self esteem might see a guy like that as valueless and a project. 2. supply her logical explanation why she should not be seeing him. She might desire to get pregnant, raped, abused... i'm guessing that if she maintains to be with him, he might desire to become abusive! tell her you be attentive to what's maximum suitable ( and customarily circumstances mom and father rather do ). at last she would be in a position to affection you for it, even although she won't like it now. 3. tell her she would not rather love him and that she does no longer be attentive to what genuine love is.

Answer 10

Yeah, you might just be trapped in a masochistic pattern. Or maybe, when these things happen to people, and they happen a lot, it is because there is something you need to learn, to conquer, and you will keep trying until you succeed.