in other words, do they let things go a lot with other people and allow people to be mean or say things that other people wouldnt put up with? how do they become sensitized to what is right or wrong? and also, is this the reason some women marry abusive men, because they cant recognize what is right or wrong?
2007-03-18 01:25:14 · 14 answers · asked by wcarolinew 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It's not that they don't recognize what is right or wrong, they are familiar with abuse..this is what they know in their lives, it's a programmed response. Most are abused from childhood, and to them abuse is love. If they are not abused, they do not feel loved. Yes, it's wrong..and sometimes they know it's just not right to go thru it, but they know of no other reality than a life of abuse.....so they stay with it instead of working on themselves and building up their self esteem to work thru it.
2007-03-18 01:39:32 · answer #1 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They recognise it, have excuses why they let it happen. " He only beats me up when he's drunk, but he's a good provider, and good to the children" It's not a matter of right or wrong, it's low self esteem. Brow beat to give way to the oppressive bully. (he has esteem issues also, and compensating for it) not condoning actions, but why else would someone brutalise someone he's supposed to love. Some find the resolve and opportunity to get away. And you think they've figured it out. Then when they feel up to trying to find a nice man, they're usually aproched and fall for the same brand of garbage, starting the cycle over. Reason? Low self esteem, it's still there, was never fixed. Nearly rescued, and tossed back for the predators to feed on. A sad thing to be sure. And once beaten down, esteem is a hard animal to heal.
2007-03-18 09:28:52 · answer #2 · answered by Perry B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your question is very confusing because it is poorly worded. To be quite honest, you need to clarify whom you are speaking about in each portion of your run on sentences.
He, she, it, we, they, them, kind of stuff. You need to be more specific if you want a correct answer.
Now, let me ask you this, ok? When you say, "...allow people to be mean or say things that 'OTHER PEOPLE WOULDN'T PUT UP WITH", are you saying that society should lynch everyone whose definition of mean is different than yours? Are you saying that we should all be violent and kick *** everytime somebody says something we don't want to hear? You know who you are. If it doesn't apply to you (and you know it) let it fly right on by you! My Mama always told me to consider the source and then ignore it.
People who get abused are never lacking sensitivity. They are usually the ones who have s h i t loads of sensitivity and strength in ugly situations. It is a survival reflex for the long term abused. Sometimes,, that abuse will turn the abused into an abuser and that is sad. Many women marry abusive men because the women didn't know their Prince Charming could turn into Freddy Kruger when they first met them and any dummy knows an abusive man can turn on the charm for as long as he wants and turn it off (after he has gained her total trust and because he probably is in love with her and sees her as his property and wants total control of every aspect of her life to the point of abuse).
Some women are too innocent to recognize the wolf in sheep's clothing until they are trapped in a relationship with the wolf whom on which they now have to depend for all the lovely things and necessities the abuser promised during the honeymoon period.
2007-03-18 09:52:29 · answer #3 · answered by sherijgriggs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think sometimes this does happen to an abused person. They start to think it's what they deserve and this kind of relationship is all they know. They will even begin to think that the abuse is how the other person shows their love. It is very sad to see someone who has become desensitized to the abuse they suffer. Many women who were abused as children will marry an abusive man later in life. Again, this becomes their version of "normal".
2007-03-18 09:15:29 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there are some personalities like that. It may begin in childhood; abuse has left their self-worth in shambles. So much so that in their own adult relationships they cannot distinguish between what is still acceptable and what is already a violation to their own person.
And the worst part is, they have found some sort of "comfort" in these "abusive" relationships, which is why you can notice a pattern in the types of relationships they get into and the types of men they date. The conflict-filled environment is what they have gotten used to, and one that for them, is not so easy to leave. It is not a simple recognition of what is "right or wrong" for them, it is a deeply ingrained notion that there is no better alternative.
2007-03-18 08:46:15 · answer #5 · answered by em 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I think it's a self-esteem issue. If someone is abused (I have been) you feel unworthy of anything good in your life and so you are drawn to abusers because you think that it what you deserve because you have been conditioned to believe it. It's a difficult mindset to break without some kind of professional help. And personally, I can spot an abuser from a mile away.
2007-03-18 08:45:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately people that have been abused and did not receive help like counseling seem to go through life thinking that being abused is normal.Women that are with abusive men are the ones that never received help and they yhink that the behavior is normal.
2007-03-18 08:48:26 · answer #7 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not most of the time. Those abused while growing up often are the abusers when they do grow up.
Abusive parents produce abusive children and so on.
No not all but a very high percent.
Abusive adults are not very tolerent of others shorcomings. The opposite of what one would think it would be.
2007-03-18 09:02:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is not about right or wrong,it goes back to the saying..'environment everything,heredity nothing'..if you grow up abused,you learn to think that abuse is normal,and it is pretty hard to see that people are taking advantage of you...to solve this problem it takes a lot as somehow you have to go back to the times when you were abused..talk to a professional..it is all in the mind..another society constructed problem....if you dont get help,yu might never build proper,stable family with a man who respect and love you.
2007-03-18 09:12:43 · answer #9 · answered by baby b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a woman may be attracted to abusive men. To them, abusive men may have a certain thing to their personality, that decent men just don't have. They date the man for a while, and whoops, he's abusive.
So yeah, I think people just let it go or justify it in their mind. "Oh, she didn't mean to say that, she's just had a rough day."
2007-03-18 08:37:04 · answer #10 · answered by smelly pickles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋