a friend told me he can only stand being around people including me for an hr or so before he gets annoyed by them/me and just wants to be alone. He says thats just the way he is and i shouldnt take it personally, but im kinda having a hard time with that.
should i just accept him as he is and put up with it even tho it kinda hurts my feelings, or is this a friend i dont need in my life. Just looking for opinions, thanks
2007-03-18 00:45:23 · 23 answers · asked by spdy 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
appreciate everyones advice...what hurts most is he actually pinpointed the instances when i was hanging out with him, that he said i was actually annoying him when i thought we were having a nice time
2007-03-18 01:03:00 · update #1
If ur friend has the courage to admit that he can only stand being with people for a while, then accept that. But if u r really hurting inside, let him know. Let him know how u really feel. Yes, he is right that u shouldn't take it personally, but u shouldn't think that he is a friend not worth having. U guys can still be friends, but let him know how u really feel.
The fact that he actually pinpoints at the times where u feel u guys were having a really good time, but when he feels that u r annoying him really irks me. I mean, im sorry but he shouldnt do that. Tell him that u r really hurt by what he had said and that u feel u guys were really having a good time. If he still refuses to acknowledge that, then I personally feel that he is a friend not worth having.
However, the final decision is still yours. I was just giving my opinion. :)
Good Luck!
2007-03-25 23:02:18 · answer #1 · answered by Funky_punk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend has some issues he needs to work on. He's right about not taking it personally. If he feels this way about everyone, then it's his problem. Don't make it your problem too. If you want to continue to be friends with him, you will have to accept the fact that he can only be around people for a short time. Enjoy the time you do have together and let go of the rest. You'll both be happier.
2007-03-18 07:50:28 · answer #2 · answered by Shmootsy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How long do you think you could hang out with Nopolean Dynamite?
This is the way some people are bc they probably have what is called Aspergers Syndrome (Google it)and at least he is telling you the truth.
There are others to be friends with if you want to hang out for a much longer time.
This is what you call an "acquaintence"..nothing more.
No need to concern yourself with this or his "problem' too much.
Some people are just this way even if they dont have A.S.
Live, laugh, and meet new people..
2007-03-26 05:38:25 · answer #3 · answered by Gary G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that your friend is a genuine loner. It can be really challenging to friends with a loner, but also very worthwhile. Definitely do not take it personally, but rather as a compliment that a person who usually prefers their own company sometimes prefers YOUR company. Just stay the way your are and let your personality draw him out. Loners are often so misunderstood that they tend to withdraw even more. If you can be cool with him being who he is, you can probably have a friend for life. This is definitely NOT a bad friend, just another unique person.
2007-03-18 07:57:01 · answer #4 · answered by siddoly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's doing you a favor by telling you he can't stand too much of people. And really, you shouldn't take it personally. Since he is that way chances are you couldn't stand to be around him too much either. Sometimes familiarity does breed contempt and in his case that can happen mighty quick. You might find that you won't need him in your life as he isn't the type who ingratiates himself like that. Just see him not so much as a bad friend but as a changeable moody person who is the way that he is and who has to deal with and live with himself the way that he is.
2007-03-18 08:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's kind of funny, because some people annoy me as well, and I choose not to hang out with them much. don't get the wrong idea, I like these people, but sometimes they do irritating things- I don't tell them because they are all different ages and in different places in their lives and things they need to learn and do are their choices not mine- I do have one really good friend that I find I do not see enough, we have even been preparing the same meals for dinner when I call her- if he told you what you did to irritate him, try not to do it around him, but if you do he probably understands the you have to do it your way- take him for what he is- honest- would you rather he just pretend to like you? we all do things that irritate someone, some are just more sensitive than others. and you know for sure this guy will tell it to you straight, whether you want him to or not!
2007-03-18 10:13:17 · answer #6 · answered by drox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just accept him as he is. My wife is very similar. She can be a great friend but likes her alone time too. Just accept he will only be around for a while and if you need more time with a friend find a new friend. We can't all be perfect for each other :) even as friends but we can still ge good friends. He is kinda grumpy though ;-p
2007-03-24 00:30:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow I urge you to ask yourself how much do you want him in your life. Guy is different than girl and he is very honest with you. I really want you to ask him about what he likes and not likes about you. You need to be honest to him as well. Friend is the best thing you need and honesty is the key of friendship. Emotional and feeling is not working with guy and he may be having some problem at home that he does not want to tell or express. You have to understand his position and learn how to adjust with him. Remember communicate effectively is a key of this issue. Good luck.
2007-03-26 00:31:40 · answer #8 · answered by ryladie99 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah you should just try to accept him for who he is and try to accept the fact that he can only stand being with one friend for a short period of time. but i believe that if he hurts you while doing this that either you can move on or tell him that it hurts you when he dose it
good luck
2007-03-26 06:01:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok this a bad situation. according to me a friend stays for life time not for hours. but since he was ready to tell you the truth that he is having a stupid habit you should not avoid him completely. if he can tell what he feels you should tell what you feel and still he is not accepting then you should play your best to help him come out of such a terrific behaviour. it may lead to a fight but still stand with your word. because you are trying to help him out. once he will realise your love and that day he will be your friend for life.
be bold, tell him how this is going to hurt his future. if you are capable shout at him. but remember you are never his enemy.after all love him.
2007-03-18 08:24:44 · answer #10 · answered by papz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋