Will drugs be the end of my relationship?

Question

My boyfriend is pretty much everything a girl could want in a man-intelligent, caring, loving, talented, handsome..except for one thing...hes an addict. I knew about his addiction when we first got together. He'd been using all sorts of drugs off and on for 9 years previously. When I met him, it was crack and oxy. It wasnt causing us relationship problems, so I kinda ignored it. Soon it got so bad that I told him it was me or rehab. He went to rehab and cleaned up. We moved in together. About a month later, I caught him using oxy again. He told me that rehab helped him kick crack, but he felt he could manage his oxy usage. Since then, its gotten worse. Not as bad as before rehab, but I have a feeling its getting there. He promises me that hes going to stop someday; I want him to stop NOW & he knows that. I love this man with all my heart, but this is tearing me apart. He wont go back to rehab b/c he doesnt want his family to know hes using again. What can I do? Are we destined to fail?

Answer 1

the only person that can stop him from using drugs is himself he has to know in his heart that his drug days are over and just take it day by day his addiction has nothing to do with his love for you dont take it personal but dont think if he loves you that this will be enough for him 2 give up addiction is a powerful disease it takes over every part of you no matter what he says he does not have control of his drug use drugs always have control over you the user if you want more advice feel free 2 email me good luck for your future and his

Answer 2

If you really love him, you have to walk away. Take all your things and go. Leave him with the message that until he is 100% clean and clear of any kind of drug, you won't be back. And you have to mean it. And you have to be strong. Don't call him every day, don't visit him. Stay away. He has to know you mean business.

If he loves and respects you, he will go back into rehab. Oxycodone is one of the worst prescription painkillers there is and he is not doing himself any favors taking it. If he were to have an accident and get hurt, the pain pills they give in the hospital won't do him a bit of good. And if he's been on oxycodone, they won't likely give him morphine, either. You have got to make him see that you are serious about rehab. Get Out Now!

Answer 3

I am a recovering drug addict. He will not quit until he is ready, If you force him with ultimatum's into going into rehab he will try, but it will be for you. Not him. End the end he will return to drugs. Unless he quits and gets clean because he wants to he will never stay off drugs. And by the way, In the world of addiction all drugs are equal addictive. Alcohol, Crack, Oxy. They all lead to the same place. Jails, Institutions, and Death.

Answer 4

I am so so sorry, and you are going to wish that I had never answered this question, but I need to. I was dating the woman of my dreams, I loved her more than anyone on this earth, I still believe she was my soulmate, however she enjoyed doing drugs and I hated it because she has had problems with addiction before and was playing with those drugs again. I gave her all the love and support in the world, but askd her to stop because it killed me to watch her do this to herself, so she did. But the she began to resent me because she couldnt do the drugs anymore, she got angry, nasty and became at some points an absolute nightmare. Eventually it got to the point where no matter how much we loved each other she started to not tell me where she had been because she had gone there to do drugs. I miss her more than anything, but she will always be addicted to drugs, and there is nothing more I could have done. They will only stop if they want to stop for themselves, and Im so sorry you are in this situation, its the worst pain Ive ever felt.

Answer 5

I am sorry honey...but yes you are destined to fail if he does not go back into rehab.And if he will not go to rehab then if you stay with him you are just enabling him and that is also very wrong.You cannot force a drug addict to stop using or to get help but you can take yourself out of that situation if that is what he want's to continue to do.You are not being fair to yourself and neither is he being fair to you.He is taking you for granted and that is just what a drug addict does.I hope he will go to rehab because if he does'nt you will be attending his funeral..Oxy will kill his liver and kidneys and ultimately he will die.I lost a cousin to an oxy addiction and it broke my families heart..Good Luck to you.

Answer 6

you will always come second to drugs. it won't be his choice and to a lesser degree, his fault. (although he did choose to use drugs in the first place) the addiction takes over and no matter how much he wants to stop or says he will, the drugs are in control.

eventually it will come down to either you or the drugs. If he doesn't get into rehab to kick the habit, you will always be the "next best thing." He might love you, but the drugs own his life.

Answer 7

I am so sorry that i cant say its gonna work itself out. There's a person in our family that is an addict and no matter what we do, say, try, it just doesn't matter. He cant stop for you even if he wants to. you staying with him is actually enabling him to continue. If you don't want drugs and all the problems that come along with them in your life you have to get out. I don't know you, the only reason i say that is bc that is what was told to our family when we sought advice. We were told there was nothing we could do until the person wanted the help for themselves and we had to step back bc it was causing total heartache in my family to watch this person ruin thier life. Its aterrible thing to live with. If you need someone to talk to about this you can contact me.

Answer 8

WOW CAN I RELATE TO HIM I WAS ADDICTED TO PAIN PILLS FOR 2YRS ,IT'S THE H-A-R-D-E-S-T HABIT TO "KICK" I ENDED UP GOING TO A METHADONE CLINIC AND IT STABILIZED MY LIFE .I NO LONGER SPEND THE ENTIRE DAY WONDERING WHERE IM GONNA GET MY NEXT PILLS ,ON THE PHONE CALLING EVERY PERSON I KNEW THAT GOT THEM . ADDICTION MAKES U DO THINGS THAT A "NORMAL"YOU WOULD BE SICKED BY! THANKFULLY MY HUSBAND STUCK BY ME & MY BIG BRO WHO WAS ALSO ADDICTED GAVE ME THE IDEA TO GO TO THE CLINIC -IT'S A PAIN ,IF THERE IS'NT ONE CLOSE BY. BUT IT'S WORTH IT! WHY DONT U CALL INTERVENTION (A " T.V." REALITY SHOW) WILL HE HATE U? THEY SEND PEOPLE TO REHAB & PAY FOR IT. I UNDERSTAND HOW FRUSTRATED U ARE BELIEVE ME! ABOUT HIS FAMILY -IF THEY KNEW HOW HE ACTED PREVIOUSLY ON PILLS -THEY PROB . KNOW NOW -EITHER WAY PAIN PILLS CAN KILL U . THEY DAMAGE YOUR LIVER . I JUST HEARD A TRAGIC STORY FROM MY CUZ-WHO'S ADDICTED AS WELL BUT A GIRL WHO WAS APROX 23 W/2 KIDS ONE 5 AND A NEWBORN TOOK SOOOO MANY THAT IT DAMAGED HER LIVER AND SHE HAD A SEIZURE (SP) ?? AND DIED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND HER DAUGHTER 5 YRS OLD WAS SAYING IM NEVER GOING TO SEE MY MOMMY AGAIN TRAGIC HUH? THE BEST THING U CAN DO (IF U HAVE IT IN U) IS SUPPORT HIM ,TALK HIM IN TO GETTING HELP ,PEOPLE RELAPSE JUST GET UP DUST OFF AND TRY AGAIN . IF U CAN'T HANDLE IT. THEN TELL HIM -I DONT KNOW HOW OLD YA'LL ARE BUT LIFES TOO SHORT TO LIVE MISERABLEY . I WISH U BOTH ALL THE BEST- & I'LL PRAY FOR U BOTH . I HOPE U GET WHAT U WANT.

Answer 9

you wil always be 2nd in his life and drugs will always be number 1. trust me i know. i had met this guy about 6 yrs ago. i got preg after 6 months of being with him. i asked him time and time again to stop. but he didn't so i grew a backbone and left him when my kids was 7 months old. my daughter at the age of 2 had developed a blood disorder and i am a- and she is a+ and so is her father ( a+) i called him and asked him to PLEASE come to st judes and donate blood and platles he so kindly told me NO that when they test his blood and find out he is really bad on drugs that he was not going to go to jail for my dumbass nor my kids ***........ so that goes to show you how much drugs means to a person who uses. and my story is true. i could have went to the streets and found the nastiest dritiest bum with no hair and teeth. who hasn't had a bath in months and that bum would have not truned my daughter down for blood the way her own father did. its a sad sad thing to deal with.

Answer 10

The thing about his parents is just an excuse. Get him the help he needs, an ultimatum worked once, it may work again. The fact that you are asking if your relationship is destined to fail speaks volumes of how you feel. Think about that and re-asses how much more of this you can take.