My g/f that lives in the States, has serious mood swings, I can do no right. One example, I bought a cheap watch yesterday, just to tell the time...that's all I need. I said "shame it's not a rolex"...she then went silent on me and said could she go. I tried to ask what I had said, and she accused me of wanting nothing but money....I tried to say It was a joke....I don't even want a bloody Rolex.....I accused her of trying to control me...that was it...bang, the phone goes down and refuses to answer it.....help!.....is it me? She does this all the time....she is coming to live here in two months, but has threatened to cancel the flight on a number of occasions. Is she just insecure...as am I because of the distance...I have told her how much it hurts me...and I get told to "get over it" or "grow up"...I wish I could tell more...Does anyone know what she wants....I even offered to live there, got the house valued, then she said she will come here..control? and will she fly?
2007-03-18 00:13:12 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well you do seem to be having problems already - have you actually lived with her yet. She seems to think that you are into material things (we all have something we want) and it does not need to be expensive. Ask her in a letter - because she can then sit and think or email, what it is that gives her this impression. I hope you do not sell up and move over there on the experience you have been given already. If she does and if you want this I hope it works out - I would give your relationship at least twelve months before doing any sudden changes i.e. sell up/marriage etc., what they say about 'you have to live with a person to know them' - is in fact quite true, so hold your horses and no pun intended but time is now of the essence.
2007-03-18 00:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by deep in thought 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know in your heart what the answer it to this question. Your lady friend has a problem with basic communication problems with you. Her response is to shut you out.
If you want more of the same treatment then continue seeing this young lady and marry her and you will live a life of quiet desperation.
I married a lady from Japan like this and although we have been married 21 years there is more and more bad time then good times. It would have better for me to stay single and I could have kept my good friends and family members but since she came into my life I have lost a lot of friends and relatives because she just don't like them. Also, I cannot plan a decent vacation or retirement as she is so controlling that everything must be done her way or its not going to happen.
I have lost a lot of self-confidence and if I want to do something I have to do it on my own as she will not support me in thought, word, or deed. Good Luck
2007-03-18 00:26:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are being serious, saying that she herself has "mood swings" it could be cause for alarm. If you are madly in love,
I would spend the money to fly to the states to see what is up?
Maybe even be as bold to ask her if she would go to a counseling session with you while you were here. Just be gentle, very gentle.
Did she have these mood swings before? If not, I would wonder if she is seeing someone here and now she finds you an annoyance?
If you are not madly in love, make sure she doesn't come. That would be pure hell.
Perhaps her moodiness is rooted in money troubles she has herself. SOMETHING is going on.
Still my biggest questions to you are:
How long have you two been together?
How long a part now?
Did she have the same mood swings before you went back?
Let us know?
2007-03-18 00:57:37 · answer #3 · answered by susie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you've a frightned and uncertain female friend. If I were you, I woudn't get indignant. So she denied telling you? possibly she's afraid the guy will beat her up and then she will be able to no longer be so exceedingly and also you'll unload her (now to not practice-- OUCH!). right here's a contact: ladies are often afraid of adult men and style of play coy to diffuse the problem. each each now and then the guy basically thinks the lady is stupid and leaves it on my own and infrequently he acts like the jerk you defined. right here's a note to all adult men, BTW: basically because a woman is exceedingly does no longer recommend she needs you throughout her! ladies favor area, protection, and autonomy. right here's a training for you, boyfriend-- get your female friend some self-protection training to help her benefit self assurance. once she is universal with she will deal with it if a guy receives pushy, she'll be more beneficial likely to inform him to back off and that she already has a guy who can provide her more beneficial than he can!
2016-12-02 04:17:20 · answer #4 · answered by kasahara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you see any flags? are they red? Have you seen the movie with the haunted house where the disembodied voice whispers "Get out of the house" She treats you like this and your not even together yet. The sign says misery, till I leave, what do I get now? "You always know before you say it out loud." you already knew before you asked. you just want to hear it. So do what you can live with. good luck
2007-03-18 00:49:06 · answer #5 · answered by Perry B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell er where to get off mate. This much trouble now, where's is going to go if you move in together? Change the locks on yer house and batten down the hatches she could be on her way already!
2007-03-18 00:19:55 · answer #6 · answered by Yahooer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mate...she's a hotbed of insecurity and neurosis. Unless you're a certified psychologist or psychiatrist, she's likely to have way more problems than you can solve or even deal with.
It may seem cold, but it's best to cut her loose. No sense in both of you being perpetually miserable.
2007-03-18 00:16:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She sound like she is playing 'come and get me games', she seems to want all your time and attention to be on her. I say let her go and find someone who really appreciates you.
If you have a problrm before you live together, what is it going to be like when you are in each others company day in day out
2007-03-18 00:27:44 · answer #8 · answered by Darkchild 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
David, she doesn't like you and it sounds as if you don't like her. You may feel strong emotion for her, and it may be love, but once the dairy has worn off that, you'll be left with a woman you don't like. You're not so needy that you have to be with a woman who isn't nice to you. You can do better - dump her. And don't worry too much about hurting her feelings, either, cos she doesn't worry about hurting yours.
2007-03-18 00:25:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the long distance.. you have lots of communication barriers..the phone and Internet are not enough..you should try living in the same country then you can judge your relationship and compatibility
2007-03-18 00:37:04 · answer #10 · answered by d. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋