My mother babysitted my daughter, now 5 years old, my sisters daughter, 3 years old, and my other sisters daughter, now 9 years old. The girls would play in the play room but my mother didn't have her eye on them at all times so I don't know if something was said to my child in regards to my question. Before my child turned 5, she would point to my breast and say I like yours, or she would try to touch my bottom, she has even tried to kiss me on the lips. The thing is she has never tried this on her father or a male, only on me and my mother. My daughter has walked in on me while I was changing shirts and saw my upper half. And I have taken her quick showers with me, but I was wearing a colored shirt, so that she doesnt see my breast, and of course underware. Is there something I am doing wrong or can child be showing early signs of homosexuality? Please help!! When she acts like this I just want to beat her and I start having depression because of this, thinking my child might be gay!
2007-03-16 23:57:42 · 13 answers · asked by heidi0787 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Wow, calm down. Your child is not having bisexual tendencies, she is just curious. Your body is very different from her's in that stage, she is only curious because it is something she doesn't see. Children are innocent and do not know any better, you are her mother so she is comftroble with you (and her grandmother), you are someone she trusts. She is just being a child, now if she were to take a quick shower with her father (which she is too old for anyways) and was doing that, then I would be a little uncomftroble. I used to take quick showers with my mother when I was really little and I would ask her what that stuff was, it's normal. All I am saying is that you have nothing to worry about. People are not born with gay/bisexual thoughts (my personal belief), if ended up being bisexual, you wouldn't see or know about that one for MANY years, and that would be her own personal choice, not a way she was born.
If she chose that sort of lifestyle when she turned into an adult, would you disown her or something? Why so overly terrified? If she turned out gay or not, she will always be your daughter, and as her mother you should love her no matter what her lifestyle choice is. Being gay is not some sort of birth defect.
2007-03-17 00:03:45 · answer #1 · answered by Konjo Nashi Pirate™ 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Woh! hold on a minute calm down, this is very normal for children to wonder about naked bodies and touch bottoms or accidently touch genitals, They're just kids and don't have any sexual thoughts, she isn't gay and how dare you even think like this, kids are just curious and don't understand social boundaries and sexuality at all. If there was a naked boy she might be curious or shy you just don't know cause once again they are not thinking sexually. As she gets older explain that certain things are inappropriate and she will grow up happy, normal and healthy, when she hits puberty she may still be a bit confused until she gets older, I know some girls who kiss their friends and sometimes when they get drunk they fondle each other, but even then they have boyfriends and normal jobs and social lives. Sorry but i think you're over reacting.
I'm not a psychologist but with kids if you make a big deal about things it may affect them later in life. for eg. she may get the impression the female body is disgusting and nakedness and touching are something to be ashamed of.
Just relax and gradually introduce morals and acceptable behaviour and please DONT hit her. I know you are concerned and i wouldn't know how hard it is to be a mother but please take some of my advice. Have a nice day and look after yourself and your daughter.
2007-03-17 07:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by nightdreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the mother of three young children. I experienced a similar problem with my son when he was six. I talked to the pediatrician. I was told that at this age children are curious about stuff like that and it is perfectly normal. tell her it is unacceptable behavior. Just my guess and a mommy opinion, you five year old most likely heard an older child make comments like this and picked up on it. Or even an adult or tv. Children hear everything and she could have heard this talk anywhere. If she goes to school or daycare she will hear and learn all kinds of stuff. Don't overreact mom. If little or no attention is shown to the comments this is a phase that will soon pass. I would ask her if she has heard another child or person talk like this. just remember she is only five and just learning and being curious. I really believe it is not a big deal. If you are that concerned consider speaking to her doctor.
2007-03-17 07:11:50 · answer #3 · answered by kristina r 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you kidding?!? Your daughter is simply showing healthy signs of affection for the people she feels closest to, her mother and her grandmother. Probably the two people who give her the most care and show of affection. Right?!? At the age of 5, this is normal affection and curiosity on her part, why are you reading anything else into it?
Oh, and by the way, SHAME ON YOU for stereotyping your child! If she does grow up with different sexual preferences, will you love her any less? Her own personal preferences will be none of your business, as long as she's happy. Stop looking for "signs" at this early of an age and let her enjoy being a kid. What you are doing wrong is being a paranoid, homophobic jerk...just be her mom.
2007-03-17 07:08:38 · answer #4 · answered by Laurie K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if your child is bisexual, there's nothing you can do about it. It is not a disease. It cannot be cured.
However, five is pretty young and most likely she is just curious. You mention that you've taken showers with her, but only while wearing a shirt? It sounds like you've got some hang-ups about nudity which have undoubtedly been transferred to your daughter.
Kids have no shame when it comes to running around naked. At age five, she is aware of her sexual identity (i.e. difference between boys and girls), so her curiosity is understandable (and probably non-sexual). I'm sure she senses your discomfort which only makes her more curious.
2007-03-17 07:07:33 · answer #5 · answered by knowmeansknow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either you are joking - which I doubt. Or you need some counselling. If your daughter isn't straight it isn't something that is bad. In any case she is 5 years old so don't worry about it. If you are getting so worked up about this that you are willing to physically hurt her then you need help. I have a feeling that non-straight people aren't the only people you have issues with. Just because someone isn't "like you" doesn't mean they are bad. Too bad you couldn't be the person you wanted to be, and you let them beat you down.
Forget all the stupid crap you were taught when you were a kid and be happy.
2007-03-17 10:42:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is gay beating her out of it won't work. i think you need some help as a mother to know what iss normal for a 5 year old to wonder about and notice. perhaps she likes your breasts because she would like to have some. and many small children kiss their parents on the lips. perhaps she only does it with you because she feels loser to you.
get some help from a professional on normal childhood development before you end up beating her for no reason that she has control over.
2007-03-17 12:41:18 · answer #7 · answered by Justme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh stop. You are hiding yourself from her and she is just curious. She is discovering bodies, that's all. The more you make a big deal of it the worse she will become. If she is gay, who cares, she is still your child and should not be beaten for it. All kids get curious about bodies and why they are like they are. She is just noticing boobs because she is old enough to know she doesn't have them. Just tell her she will get them when she is older and she might be happy to just know that. It is natural to question what we don't have or don't know. Give the kid a chance.
2007-03-17 07:03:57 · answer #8 · answered by shes_apples 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This has got troll written all over it - your first post and a ridiculous situation. I really hope you don't have a daughter, as nobody deserves to be judged like that at 5 years old.
2007-03-17 07:27:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should calm down. Afterall, she is only five. Just because she's curious doesn't mean she's going to turn out to be a lesbian. But even if she did turn out to be gay, you shouldn't hate her for it. It's not like she could choose her feelings.
2007-03-17 07:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by Milly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋