Hi all,My Husband Confessed he was Seeing a Sex Worker for 4 Months &Last Night he Told me He has been seeing Sex Workers Since Last June,I am Gob Smacked,We were still having sex in that Time,I asked how many women has he been with and He said about 20-25,What the Hell am I Going to Do,OK Some might say its my Fault,but we had a Talk one day and I asked him was Sex the Most Important Thing in a Marriage and he said NO,I wasnt very Interested in Sex,But we still had it and I thought he was Happy with That,How could I be So Wrong,So the Next Question was Why he saw The one Woman 4 Times and the Reply was she was the Best one there,They met up about 6 Times after they slept Together and He had her Phone Number,How can I EVER Trust him again,He wants me to Forgive Him but I really Feel ill when I think about Him and The Whores he has been With and not to Mention the STD"s,I could have got something from them,What would you Do?????
2007-03-16 23:55:03 · 8 answers · asked by Spud 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This 'man' [excuse for a man] degraded you in the worst way possible.
Exposed you to god knows what.
Betrayed you.
Lied to your face.
And is making you question yourself in asking how could you be so wrong, you WEREN'T wrong, get that into your head right now, he lied to you and deceived you, everyone else in your position would have trusted him and not expected this.
You cant trust him again, im afraid that the saying, once a cheat always a cheat.
He went further, telling you she was the best, he tried out all other girls and settled on her, this wasn't him seeing a whore, this was an affair!
Please get out of this now, no one deserves to be treated like that and i promise if you do decide to give it another go, the pain of going through that will be so much more worse than the pain of leaving this sorry excuse for a human being.
He deserves nothing from you, you put your trust in him and were betrayed and he wants you to forgive him, ask yourself these questions,
Apart from doing it and maybe saying sorry afterwards, what has he TRULY done to deserve forgiveness and how has he worked to get it?
Can you be with someone you cant trust ever again, could you deal with that feeling in your stomach telling you something may not be right and the paranoia that will invade your relationship?
You may love him, but why dont you think you deserve better than this?
Because you do, no good man would chose a cheap whore over his wife.
Leave him with the whores in the gutter, exactly where he belongs, dont let him drag you down to his low level, which he will if you stay, it gives him permission to do it again, really.
2007-03-17 00:30:27 · answer #1 · answered by Chyme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, these women are not "Sex workers", they're WHORES. I hate political correctness. Let's call a spade a spade.
The first thing you need to do is get yourself tested for STDs and then insist that he get tested. Even if you turn up negative, you'll still need to get checked for many years because you could turn positive years down the road.
Second, you have to do some serious soul searching about whether or not you want to keep the relationship going. No one can do this but you.
Third, IMO, the relationship has probably been mortally wounded. If you decide you want to continue with him, you both need counseling. You need to have candid talks with him. Does he want to stay together? He needs to be brutally honest and if he doesn't think he can stay faithful, he needs to go. Don't scream or yell, be calm but you need honest answers from him.
Fourth, IF both of you decide to stay together, you need him to know that this is it, no more whores and if you even catch a whiff of him cheating again, he's gone and all his belongings will be out on the front porch and the locks changed.
It's going to take a lot of time, work, talking and rebuilding trust for that to work. It won't be easy but it can be done if you're willing and he can keep his pants zipped.
Good luck!
2007-03-17 00:37:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apart from the infidelity, with which you have to deal with, sex with a high risk partner having AIDS is the most important thing to deal with right now.
The window period for HIV / AIDs is 3 months. Start a preventive course of Anti-retro viral and AZT immiediately.
You cannot trust your partner, with the chance that he had un-protected sex with one of the prostitutes.
Have your husband take an HIV Aids test now, and again in 3 months.
You need to have a frank discussion with your husband, and try to determine why he strayed from within the marital bed.
To forgive is not an easy decision, and only you can make that choice.
2007-03-17 00:26:35 · answer #3 · answered by calexico 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really not know what to do? Leave his nasty ass immediately!! Your first stop should be your doctor's office. Get an HIV test and be tested for other STDs. And stop blaming yourself. It sounds like he's actually bragging about this. What a JERK.
2007-03-17 00:57:35 · answer #4 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get tested for STD's.
Both of you go for counseling. Share your feelings with the counselor.
It's up to you whether he deserves another chance. It you're confused, you don't have to decide right now.
2007-03-17 00:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by salsera 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgive or forget
why did he confess?
To get it off his chest or to make you miserable..
because he is sorry
or he is letting you know your marriage is in trouble?
2007-03-17 00:08:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd boot his ass out and never ever allow him back in. If you were smart, you'd do just this.
2007-03-17 00:42:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE! He doesn't deserve you.
2007-03-17 00:09:17 · answer #8 · answered by BJTD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋