28 Married to 32 for about 2 years. Here is my husband:
Advantages:
1- He likes to be married, loves his family life, and his kid.
2- He is loyal and kind to me.
3- He helps me with the housework.
4- Good sense of humor and socially likable.
Disadvantages:
1- We have non-existant sex life as he has no sex drive.
2- He is obese and doesn't want to lose weight.
3- He can't keep a job. Also he can't keep money. Poor financial management, so we never have enough money for house, food, ect, because he finds a way to spend the money altogether.
4- He hates communication and councling. So I don't see any furture for resolving our problems.
5- He snores heavily and I have sleepless nights, and he refuses to take his medication.
6- He hates any sort of education or reading any book.
2007-03-16 22:14:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He sounds like a good husband. Seems he needs help with self-esteem.
HIs non-existant sex life, herbs can help with that.Horny Goats Weed. This can be found at a Health and Fitness Store. Probably on the internet too.( I actually bought an older gentleman some as a gag gift for his 75th birthday!)
Diet an issue, try new foods and cutting salt down. I was very sluggish from salt. I started using more herbs, even liquers in some dishes. My energy boosted, and within the first year I lost six sizes.
Jobs are not all that easy for some. Few people get into careers for just a pay check and this may be his behavior too. Has he ever had a job that truly was him? One that fit his personality?
Communication is not always coming from words. Body language, eye contact, etc... most important factors of communication. How do you go about addressing the issues? Is it after he grumbled some sort of word.
He won't take meds, ear plugs if your not sleeping.
Don't think it is hatred of education and reading, maybe he struggles alot within these walls. Ever think maybe there is limitations on his ability to stay focused, maybe AdultADHD or along these conditions?
Sometimes we get so set in what could be we forget what is.
2007-03-16 22:50:53 · answer #1 · answered by rose s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has medical issues that could cause half of his problems, but if he doesn't want to do anything to resolve these problems, it is a difficult situation. It seems that you feel that he is not as intelligent as you and you do not the fact that he cannot handle money. What I would do is sit him down and discuss all these issues that are bothering you, but if he refuses to do anything to change I would threaten him with a divorce. I think he needs a shaking up and maybe he will get his act together. If not, it is difficult for me to advise you to leave him, because that is a decision that you will have to make yourself. But try to threaten him first with a divorce and see where that goes. Also he should be checked out by a physician because he could have heart disease, diabetes and his low sex drive could be caused by the medication he is taking. I wish you good luck
2007-03-18 00:44:24 · answer #2 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds like you made up your mind. Sometimes you need to give a man an altamadem to get them motivated. Tell him what your not getting and that you wanna leave, if he really loves his married life then he will try to keep it. Get seperate bank accounts so that he can spend, adn you can provide, that way he doesnt drag you down with him. Maybe your sex life is no existant bc he need something more from you, dress up real sexy, role play...... But deffinatly tell him to shape up or move out. I feel for you..........
2007-03-17 05:56:58 · answer #3 · answered by AJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what re the advantages of being married to him again? cos i actually didn't find any. with his weight and being a loser (he can't keep a job) he has to be loyal and help around the house. he has no options. so it means U HAVE NO ADVANTAGES OF being married to him. only disadvantages. he sounds the greatest loser, of course i dont' know how u look and what u do, but i would leave as fast as i can. well, i wouldn't have ended up with such a loser on the first place. fix it while u still can. if u still can
2007-03-17 05:20:02 · answer #4 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Stay married. You knew all the disadvantages when you married him; he didn't suddenly develop these!
You made a kid with him, so you have to smarten up your attitude, mature, make the best of things, and be a proper mom and wife.
2007-03-17 09:09:10 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats a really hard one. the pros and cons kinda balance out.
although the sex one really puts a lot of strain on a relationship. id tell him hes got two choices; either smarten up and get his life back in order..... or we're gonna have to seperate for a while till you decide whats important in life..... the kids & you.... or his lack of gumption, his laziness, his basically being a bum
2007-03-17 05:20:30 · answer #6 · answered by the_syco_t 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you still love him? Stay with him if you do and try and work it out. If not then suggest a trial separation before making a decision. I hope it works out for you.
2007-03-17 05:18:50 · answer #7 · answered by ChocLover 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you love him then the answer is clear. Thats why God invented marrige counseling
2007-03-17 05:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by 03Lexus 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Leave him
2007-03-17 16:34:04 · answer #9 · answered by kenneth h 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you think it will get any better?
2007-03-17 07:23:16 · answer #10 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋