She makes me want to die, and I have thought of killing myself recently.
I stay with her for our 5 y.o. daughter.
If I break up with her, she will take our daughter abroad and I won't see her again, or very rarely (maybe once a year). Sure, a US court will award me partial custody, but when she has my daughter she will just leave, and the country she will go to will not honor my custody, and I can't live there.
My plan was to just stay with her for 13 more years, until my daughter is old enough to go where she chooses. But she makes my life so awful, I would rather be in jail or prison or dead. Seriously. She is mean, cruel. I didn't see how evil of a person she was when I met her. I can't fight back too much, because she will just take my daughter away. Even if I fight back a little, she will say horrible things to my daughter.
We can't "talk" through it, I hate her guts and she is naturally mean. Besides the next 13 years in hell, is there a solution where I can see my daughter?
2007-03-16 20:39:41 · 11 answers · asked by whatsthefingpoint 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
its hard cuz i dont kno the particulars. dont hurt yourself or your little girl will only blame you for leaving her to fend for herself w/someone that full of meaness. dont badmouth your wife to her at this age either because trust me she sees it all by herself without seeing you bitter aswell. children are very perceptive altough impressionable,so let her see that you are not what your wife says about you. take joy in knowing you are loved by those you love and your wife doesnt have to be a prison for your soul. be the best example you can be to your daughter of a person that sees the joy in just being alive. let her know that no matter how hard life can be there is always something better.research custody issues and speak w/a lawyer but dont let on or agitate her while doing so, so the claws dont come out further(u may want to misplace her passport in the process).I dont know how long you will have to struggle with what may seem like overwhelming odds and theres always an out no matter how hard to find.you are stronger than you know,and we are as strong as our children need us to be. share as much time outside the home as you can w/you'r girl. i say outside the home that way you dont feel opressed even by the atmosphere.places hold memories.if you can, be as not home as possible like the movies or park or zoo or bikeing but dont leave your girl home to take the brunt of your wifes anger. you can live there without ever really being there, even if that meens buying alot of really good book to lose yourself in or read to your daughter. good luck i'm sorry if this didnt help.its only because i have so much more to say and dont know how to do that in a paragraph.
2007-03-16 21:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by Sara M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you divorce her you will only see your daughter about once a year versus killing yourself or going to prison both of which guarantees you will not see your daughter at all. I think the choice is clear-how can someone endure 13 years of torture? Especially if it really is so bad you would rather die than continue? For your daughters sake -leave. But first secretly get a lawyer and try to fight for custody and a court order to ensure your child cannot leave the state or province. This is the best advice I can give you. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-03-16 21:13:53 · answer #2 · answered by MAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you on this one cause you don't find many men's that loving of their children, But to answer your question i feel that you seem to be a good father and that stands for alot, you need to leave seriously if you are that unhappy you need to go. Go to the US courts and get custody. You must do this the legal way , and please don't do anything that will send you to jail because your child needs her father, we can see that you are dealing with a sick women that's clearly not thinking of the child but only trying to hurt you. You daughter knows you love her and that means alot so if she do take her and i pray that she want just try to go and see her an still and communicate with your child, but don't do anything that you will regret. Cause 13 years is a long time to put up with this mess, so i say leave and go to court and hope for the best let your daughter no that her daddy will always be there for her no matter what happens and that you will never stop loving her.
2007-03-16 21:00:55 · answer #3 · answered by kitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should talk to a lawyer who specializes in custody battles. There might be some free advice lawyers or something, I dont' know. You guys need to talk. You don't have to like each other, but for the sake of your daughter, you need to act civilized towards each other. Good luck to you
2007-03-16 20:45:46 · answer #4 · answered by Alvarez 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you get the devorce make it be on the paper work that you get your daughter everyother holiday she pays the exspences half way and you pay exspences half way. you get her half the summer.
She could ignore the paper work if she is that much of a *****. Talk to a lawyer and see what your options are. I think you should try to get custody of the child. If you file for custody first before she does you could get her. Look into it...
2007-03-16 21:50:42 · answer #5 · answered by w_breezy34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this will help but something similar happened to my cousin. His girlfriend was horrible and a horrible mother to his three year old son. She threatened him that if he left her she'd take their son and leave. He spoke to a lawyer about it and went to court. He was the more stable and capable parent then she. I don't know all the details but honestly you should talk to a lawyer. They share custody but it could have been worst.
2007-03-16 20:53:01 · answer #6 · answered by Chaun 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would definately get a lawyer. There are local lawyers that work pro bono cases( for free). Call 411 or 311 and ask for the #, they will give you some outlet numbers. Good luck.
2007-03-16 21:02:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aside from seeking a lawyer, you should get professional help for your suicidal thoughts. Aside from saving yourself, it will also mean that you'll be there for your precious daughter in the future. Suicide only ruins more lives.
2007-03-16 21:15:02 · answer #8 · answered by terryloub 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi friend,
change your strategy instead of panicking just try to put a smile on your face or started laughing as such she is jocking
give her a fist ( this principle is related to TAI-CHI )
the principle says when hard thing strikes become soft to eliminate it's blow
it will make things change and you can be with your daughter forever
regards,
w32
2007-03-16 21:03:58 · answer #9 · answered by w32(virus) -- am'back 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer and don't tell her.. divorce her ..cause neither one of you is doing your daughter any good.. the courts will make her surrender her passport if there is a flight issue
2007-03-16 20:45:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋