Can we really change the weaknesses in our character?

Question

We were born with certain traits and characteristics that make us who we are, with more influences shaping us along the way. So, can we really change what's bad in us? How?

If yes, then how do I change weaknesses like anger, must-win attitude? What are some ways I can change for the better ... for good?

Answer 1

If you have the will and the want then yes it is possible. You just have to make sure yout hink about everything before you react and reason yourself into a better decision or action. I've changed many things about myself that I didnt like. You just have to do it. Good luck!

Answer 2

You were born an innocent child... Completely able and ready to learn cause and effect.

Why do people want and chose to be lazy and complacent and then yet at the same time complain about their condition.

You have a choice. you can light a candle or curse the darkness...
But in the end. No matter your past, your genes, history or circumstances. Everything that you wake up every morning and DECIDE to be, do or own... is a choice.

You were not born angry, you were not born bad, you were just born. fortunately, you were born with a brain. Step #1. Is to realize that it belongs to you and not the other way around. You control it... It has no force, no influence or no power on its own that you don't first give to it.

Using the excuse by saying "I was born like this." Is words out of the mouth of someone who wants to continue to be who and what they are but with an excuse that enables them to get away with it.

When you want to change... You will.

**Later addition:

Seems to me from what you said about being both angry and have a "Must win attitude." That you don't do what it takes to win, yet hate loosing... Naturally, that would incite anger in anyone. Maybe you should just ease up on the demanding expectations of yourself and learn to lose gracefully OR... Do what it takes to make sure you are always the winner.

I know because I have a similar problem and never play if I know I can't win... It is Ego based and it is a problem that has to be kept in check in me all the time or I can be a bit of a monster! Fruestration = anger. elliminate the fruestration and you'll lose the anger.

Answer 3

Yes you can change the weakness in your character. You first have to discover what your true weaknesses are. Such as, you may have a problem with anger. However, anger is caused by something else. Loneliness, boredom, low self-esteem, lack of communication, etc cause it. You have to find out what is truly the reason. Once you discover what that is, then you can work on solving it.

To overcome a must-win attitude, you need to look at what it is that you are trying to win. If the ‘win’ is on something like an argument, ask yourself if being right is better than being happy. Compromise is much better. You really can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. You are more likely to succeed if you find a way to do it without anger and overdrive.

I have had a problem with defensiveness, and I have worked to overcome it. I think before I speak. I have to remember that my moral actions are things that I do not have to defend.


You also have to remember that you cannot fix a bad habit by tossing it out the window. You have to carefully and slowly walk it down the stairs and out the door.

Answer 4

i believe yes. we are born with certain things: our mother's characteristics, our parents genetics (like if dad had depression and mom was an alcoholic), and we are all born with special traits. that is our nature. then comes the nuture, what music our mom listended to when we were in her belly, how our parents raised us, were we read to at night? did we go to school? were we raped? did you receive love and attention?
okay, so thats my philosophy.
i think that we can change our weaknesses. what weaknesses are you talking about? pessimism? laziness? greed? we choose to be negative, we choose to sit on our lazy butts, we choose to do things. but i contradicts myself by saying that these same things can also be subconscious, and out of our control. i dont know, are we greedy because we were raised that way? probably, but cant we control it? of course! through repitition, of some therapy, we can alter our characteristics.

you have a very good question
intersting.

im no expert.

my weaknesses, well a few, are - procrastination, a lousy work-ethic, greed, and depression. I can choose to work harder. i can choose to do my homework before video games. i can choose to not hoard food in my room away from my family. now depression is weird. my mom is bi-polar, and my grandma is depressed - according to a doctor. i dont know how doctors label you as depressed or not. is it a chemical test they take? or based on a 1 on 1 interview? now are we depressed because we THINK we are depressed, and be cause we are TOLD we are depressed? or are we depressed because there REALLY IS a chemical imbalance in the body? is it a combination of both? do they happen at different times in the day? There are many different questions. i think its what we believe. totally, if we think we have problems, then we do. but of course everyone has problems. ok, am i making sense? probably not.

we can change what we think about.

Answer 5

Beautiful question, and courage to admit and ask! I wish the world were full of people like you.
Who we are proceeds from the spirit that is in us. We are housed in a take down tent both fragile and perishable. Yet capable of astonishing nobility we ourselves, in a brutally honest light, are at a loss to explain.

We are all the same in these respects. I will point blank say what you seek, what we should all seek, is a fundamental change requisite of nothing short than a miracle.

This comes from only one place.

That you recognize this thing is a high thing.

Few in our world at any one time attain to it irrespective of the outward corporal evidence.

http://www.kingjamesbibles.com/
http://www.eliyah.com/lexicon.html

This may prove useful. I don't recommend the counsel of men, churches, or say so prescribed asceticisms.

You've chosen the toughest times in human history to ask such a thing. It may be that a glory will be added to you. The kind that never perishes or fades.

If this is real and genuine in you, you cannot but succeed. Even in these times. I cannot ' prosletyze ' by special edict.

Specific to these times.

But, I can at least minimally point to where the mine is and it's contents.

Of my own account, I can say, had it not been so for me, I scarce can think what would have become of me decades ago.

Good hunting friend.

Answer 6

Yes, we're born with traits and characteristics. But the upbringing is the key. Like many impressionable children, we all were raised in a "No don't do this, No don't do that!" household. Depending on the severity of the parents, allot stayed and set root in our consciousness, developing weaknesses. To overcome these weaknesses, you must set yourself in a determined mood, focusing your mind on that you want to change. When want is all consuming, change occurs.

Answer 7

Don't think of them as your weakness, think of them as your challenges. Anger issues, have you tried running. A good outlet is boxing or martial arts, any art that matter. Anger is trapped expression. Throw the time bomb or defuse it, don't just ignore it. A must win attitude is better than loser attitude. What kind of coach tells the team "Your going to suck today, so give it nothing you got". As long as your not a sore winner/loser, you can give it all.

Partner with people that you can learn from and them from you. Character is what makes you...YOU!

Answer 8

are we weake ?
no but we think that
if we weak why we try stronger or better or try to change any thing .
we are strong but sometimes we do not feel what we can do
but first you have to control your self and accept your self as it is and know how you are , where you are
and you have to know that you role your life and you can end it if you like
you can choose your way
not to wait for someone to tell you what you need
you decide
and know that the life is short and big at the same time if you do the same thing every day if you did not make something make to change or to be effect you will not leave
you will be dead but you do not feel

Answer 9

Oh,my dear. You are me 25 yrs ago. Of course if the ante is upped we can change things about our character. People stop drinking, smoking, overeating, overspending. gambling etc. Anger is a defense mechanism. Get on Dr. Phil's website he discusses the reasons behind our addictions. I had to beat the boys at pool. I had to beat the girl in class at spelling. Anger is like fighting to get out of the womb early. It's fear, frustration and a bunch of other external issues. Being molested, abused, ignored, thrown away, held too tight, we are like butterflies that must not be held but allowed to land wherever we feel safe. Anger will kill you and everyone around you. Stop it. Your children will be changed forever, like you.

Answer 10

Always accentuate your best traits, but know that the weaknesses that keep coming up for you are the ones you should address. Yes, you can change many of them. Not all are easy, but don't give up.