Do you think it is right to??

Question

Elope....

Many people in lebanon are doing it now, because of religion mainly.

Is it right for her to leave her family heart broken or is it right for her family to break her heart because they dont agree with his religion??

i think its unfair to both of them, what do you think

My husband is not the same religion as mine, but we eventually convinced both parents, why dont other parents understand that its not THIER own choice its their children's lives, it doesnt mean that they raised them then they should control them, right?

Answer 1

Mhhmmm, i don't have the right to say if eloping is right or wrong, but i do have an opinion about it.
It's like the question that someone else asked "do you answer to your parents", and most people answered "no".
I do understand that parents do not control their children... but at the same time, they are the one who brought you up. And if they brought you up well enough to carry on their values through generations, i don't think the idea of eloping would even cross your mind.
I would never leave my family behind. I have a 2 living parents (alhamdulillah) 2 brothers, 2 sisters, nearly 30 cousins, and then the whole extended family, which takes up maybe half of Lebanon (you are probably part of it)
If i elope with someone, i will have to give up all of that, and depending on the case, maybe even my home country, my culture, my religion. One person is not worth everything i have built over the years. I cannot just deny who I am, and then forget about it.
I hope you understand what i'm trying to say...
I find this subject very moving...

Answer 2

lol@ Milk and honey: you are probably part of it ( you are probably right too)

However I beg to differ on a few points:
first let's make it clear, are we discussing eloping or interreligious unions?

Eloping: not wanting to sound patronizing, but only those who have fallen in love understand the urge to want to be with that person regardless of any implications.
I do agree with kate, most of the time parents can see better that the person isn't right, but I have never seen it make any difference. love is blind, indeed.

Different faith: I think that not only is it essential, but it is the duty of the new generation to break free from a mentality that we have inherited from our parents and reinforced in the civil war. I cannot think of any logical reason why 2 people in love should not be together just because they worship in 2 different buildings. raising the children is a balancing act until they make their choices and that's what religion should be all about at the end of the day.

Answer 3

I am with it only if they really LOVE each other and both parents are not accepting them to get married. But think of it when she leaves home will she be able to go see her parents again, or vice versa?

It will also cause an internal conflict in the family which blames will be pointed out to many.

It is true in Lebanon Elope is highly rated because of religion and because of parents.

I believe we are all one and I hate to point at people and tell them what's your religion.

God Bless The Lovers!

Answer 4

I agree with Webby about that elope and interracial marriage are different things here...........but not that much.

About elope..........it is the last recourse, after 2 persons have drained all other arguments.
It doesnt happen in countries where daughters and sons have the freedom to make their own choices. So.....I think that after all what is the main reason for elope, is the difference about religions and the intransigeance of the parents to accept and bless that union.

If it should has been my case, and the man I love is a good person but in spite of that my parents still say no...I shouldnt have doubted about to elope. No one can live my life .....but me. if i mistake, have to be my own mistakes.....
That is life about.

Answer 5

The eloper has priority. Feelings can heal but life decisions effect lifetimes. Family can get over it. But because it is a serious decision eloping suggests it has not been thought through. But at the end, the eloper has the decision and not the family. The eloper must come first.

Answer 6

I think you're right...parents always know better even if the kids don't see it first hand but most of these "elope" marriages that are against the parents' will end up with divorce and even uglier than that if the family refuses their daughter, who has gone against their will, to come back home.

Answer 7

If you do not marry from the same religion, you are likely to suffer. Love or not love, when kids arrive he wants them one way and you want them another.

In Arabic we say, " Yalli Ma Bijawaz min Milto Bimoot Bi Ellto", meaning if you do not marry from your own ppl, you will die in agony.. I don't know how true is this but I think there is truth to it...

By the way, this is an intelligent question for a change. Of course from ur own personal experience... Do you have Children yet...Is the kid going to be raised with ur religion or his?

Answer 8

by eloping you gotta keep in mind .......
that once that person leaves their family they have no-one only the person they love and they have to remember..is it a guarantee?? if heaven forbid a divorce happends that person would have nothing, no family ...no love.
where i work there is religion intermarriages and the children are confused between what they should believe, most are divorced because you will always love their family and want to see them.. and the children would be confused (eg. when there at there mums house they are muslim and at there dads house they are christian???).

Answer 9

Well it is up to the parents to prevent that in the first place. They should not place their son / daughter in this situation in the first place. Whenever someone tries to "corner me" I tend to take a crazy decision just to show them that they cannot simply blackmail me.

If this happens, it will be sad however who are we to blame? Parents should be supportive instead of trying to stand in the way of their childrens' happiness.

Is it her right to leave her family broken hearted? Well, perhaps it is them who abandoned her. It is not up to them to agree or not to agree with his religion in the first place.

Thank You.

Answer 10

Getting married with your families blessing is much better, you loose so much when you elope

But if someone wants to elope, i wouldnt stand in their way