Some personal advise please. Should I stay or should I go?

Question

I have a prob.My common law husband and I have been together for almost 15 years.I am 31.I am thinking about leaving because of his son.You see, he has a 16 y/o that is currently in juvie.This kid has always lived with my husbands mom and knows no discipline whatsoever!The problem is that when he is released next week,he must be release to my husband only per the judges orders.I DONT want him or his problems in my home.He is also a bad influence on our five other kids.On top of that,he is just another head I have to support because my husband does not work.I must say though that he does the laundry,dishes,yardwork and runs all my errands for me but no money coming from him.This kid has stolen large amonts of $ from me in the past and refuses to follow the house rules.My family thinks I am being unfair to him and tell me that I will never find such a man like him just cause what he does around the house(basically everything).What do you think?

I must also add that his son despises me but pretends to be ok with me in front of my husband to make me look like the bad one. He is in juvie for several home burglaries but my husband always pulls him out of trouble and babies him! I refuse to live this way and my husband refuses to turn him away and says he could never do that to any of his kids.

Me and my husband CANNOT talk without getting into a heated argument. We butt heads too much.

Answer 1

Could your sanity stand one more chance with this kid - for your husband's sake? ONE LAST CHANCE!

If you're willing to, here's my suggestion: Let your husband know that you're okay(?) with the new arrangement provided some rules are strictly observed. Then you and your husband draw up the rules together and put them in writing. When the problem child shows up, let him read the rules (better if he signs it!). Make sure he understands that any infraction would lead to expulsion (out of the house he goes!) - whether back to juvie or wherever else.

Lemme ask you this - If you're intent on leaving, where would you go? What about the 5 other kids? Wouldn't it be simpler if it's your husband (& the problem kid) who should leave?

I hope there's an easier way to solve your problem. So think about it some more --- leaving may not the answer. GOOD LUCK!

God bless...............

Answer 2

You should let your husband know about these concerns. Be very clear with him that you are willing to give this one last shot but if he cannot get some backbone and keep his son in line that you are going to leave him.