Am I being over protective because I want to meet with and get to know the parents of my children's friends...

Question

, before they spend the night at their friends house?

I have a boy 11 and a girl 13. I want to know who lives in the house. What they do for work. A general knowledge of their values, rules, discipline, what they expect from their own children. I'm looking to get a sense that my children will be safe and positively influenced. I've always done this. Am I out of line or do other parents do this too.

to awesome--well so far everyone has been great and my kids really haven't minded a whole lot. They just get impatient cause it takes time to get to know people.

dannyboy- uh, just general conversation silly, asking about ones occupation usually is an conversation opener, not a reason to judge. I'm not out to judge anyone based on thier job. I can't think of a job I would disapprove of.

misse-Oh My-see I knew there was a reason I did this. I was just joking with my kids and husband when I said I just wanted to make sure no one they would be staying with had a meth lab in the basement. Of course eveyone rolled thier eyes, OK, I see that. But
1) you never know( we live in Missouri, it is bad here)
2)it dosen't have to be something really bad to be something you don't want your kids around-a bad influance can be too much

Answer 1

You're not being over protective, but being a good parent in this day and age. I'm a great grandmother and when my children were young, there weren't as many iffy situations as there are now. Drug usage was rare.

If I were raising a child now, I would insist upon meeting parents to get a general idea of their lifestyle. I'd want to know if my child is going to be exposed to second hand smoke, left without adult supervision, or with people whose values are greatly different than mine. Are they gun owners? Do they keep their guns locked up?

It's good for children to be exposed to people who have a different lifestyle than mine, for example different ethnic or religious background, but I wouldn't want them in a dangerous situation.

In the end, the best safety measure is to instill good judgement in your child. Encourage them to do what they know is right, even if they're afraid they'll look silly. You may think that what you say to them is being ignored, but trust me, they're taking it in. I have grandchildren in their 20's. It was only after my children were grown that I found out they'd been listening even though they rolled their eyes at the time and looked bored. They may tell you that you're the only mom who does this, that you're weird, etc. but when they're grown they'll appreciate the effort you put into being a good parent.
Good luck on the hardest job you'll ever have!

Answer 2

Well, it depends, Snoopy.

Do you grill the parents with a bunch of questions and treat them as suspects in a line-up.

I think it's great to get to know the parents of your children's friends. It fosters healthy relationships both ways.

However, you cant be too judgmental about things. If you don't want your child exposed to certain things, such as television, that are available at the fiends house, I would not confront the parents in front of the children.

Simply take them aside in a friendly manner and explain your concerns to them in a friendly, non accusatory manner, and usually, there will be no problem.

Other than criminal or morally offensive occupations, I'm not certain that what kind of work someone does is a good way to select friends.

Answer 3

I have a sixteen year old daughter who has never slept at any ones house before except for my sisters, her aunts houses. Ive had parents question me as to why their kids can spend the night at my house but my child cant at their houses. The only thing i can say to them is its been a rule since she was little and i don't want to change the rules at this crucial age so that she doesn't know we are serious about what we say. i always want to know where she is going and what kind of people they are before she goes to a new persons home. I always question why no parents call me to find out if we can meet or even just talk when new kids come to our house. i would welcome that. I think you are totally doing the right thing, we have to keep our kids safe.

Answer 4

on a similar time as i don't have faith you need to do despite you like at 14, I nonetheless locate your mom is definitely overprotective. I understand, she's fearful which you will start up putting out with the incorrect crowd. yet she ought to provide you extra credit, in view which you're needless to say doing okay. yet: your mom knows that this might substitute at each time if she lets you easily do what you like. and that's stable, using fact undesirable impact is everywhere obtainable, interior the streets, at a house of somebody you will possibly be able to call "buddy", on the cyber web etc. yet she ought to no longer likely be too worried in case you bypass to a party at an typical acquaintances abode. If she knows your buddy and she or he or he's doing stable at school, does not drink or does drugs, such as you, you ought to be allowed to bypass until a undeniable time your mom tells you. And than, you will extra clever be lower back in time, in view which you already know what your mom's point of view is. What i come across ridiculous, surely, is the reality which you at the instant are not allowed to get to college with your brother, until your mom has a clean reason (his driving conduct, as an occasion) desire that helps!

Answer 5

Stick by your guns! It is a pity more parents aren't concerned with who their children's friends are and what kind of family you might be letting your child go spend the night with. There are a lot of kooks out there and unfortunately they don't have a big tattoo on their forehead nor a big sign in their yard saying your child may not be safe here.

The one time you let your guard down and don't check into the situation is the time you will run into a problem.

Your children will appreciate your caution later and they will in turn exercise caution with where your grandchildren go.

Answer 6

You have every right to get to know their parents. We always make sure we meet our daughters friends parents before she spends the night. Even if only meeting them a day or so before she spends the night. It is your responsibility to make sure your children are safe. Some parents may not agree but I bet the majority of them do know. You don't necessarily have to get to know them well enough to go partying with them etc., just enjoy to trust them to take care of your child like you would their child if he/she stayed at your house.

Answer 7

Well for their age I would say it's getting close to being over-protective. When they are younger you obviously need to be a bit more protective. As they get older and are better able to take care of themselves they will start to view you with resentment if you continue to do it. You should know where your kids are, and I would have a talk with them letting them KNOW that if the parents do or say certain thing then they need to talk with you, but as they age you should trust your kids to know when they are safe.

Answer 8

no you're not being over protective at all. My parents did that because you need to know who is in the house and if it's safe for your children. In a worst case scenerio what if the older brother's friend is sleeping over? I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with that.

Answer 9

Absolutely not, you are just being a good parent. With all the sex-offenders and drug addicts around today it is the responsibility of the parent to know where their child is and who they are with at all times. Because if you did not do this and your child gets hurt or in trouble you did not do your job to protect them very well.

Answer 10

No,No ,No, not just no ,but hell No.
I have a 13Th yr old daughter ,and a 16Th yr old son ,I make sure i meet the parent's every time ,especially when they spend the night ,i want phone #'s. and who's at home .
I don't want my children with some perv ,or killer's .
Its your duty to protect your children ,no matter what ,you don't want later on saying those regretfully word's ,I should done it .
I praise you ,keep up .
my kid's think I'm to safe ,but guess what ,i know what they doing and with whom.
that's a mother's right ,and it doest change how my children love me .
I'm not my children's best friend ,they have plenty of friend's .
I'm still their parent .