I have a friend that I had a relationship with for about 9 months or so... as time went on, I realized I wasn't feeling the same way that he did. So I broke it off. Found out later on that he had been seeing someone else at the same time, which crushed me. I didn't talk to him for over a year. And then I happened upon one of his blogs, where he was saying that he really needed a friend to talk to... mentioned me specifically. I didn't do anything, but rant about it on my own blog. Then he messaged me. Now it seems we are back to being friends... but the question is... should I just forgive and forget everything that happened? I won't deny I played a part in it. But the relationship became an obsession to me... to both of us perhaps. And I'm seeing the same thing happening again. He's with soemone else right now, and I'm friends with them too, at least sort of. So its complicated. Do I stop myself now, and if so, how exactly? If not... do I just let things continue as is?
2007-03-16 18:36:21 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
No, I do not still love him, don't know if I ever did, at least not like that. I guess, essentially, I came to believe that i loved him, and to rely on him, a lot more than he was actually reliable.
No, I'm not going to date him again... he's made it abundantly clear that he wouldn't, even if I had the slightest interest (which I don't). The question is should I still be friends with him? Forgive and forget? Or just forget altogether?
2007-03-23 13:44:32 · update #1
There's nothing wrong in being just friends. As long as you can keep it that way, and not let it proceed further. But ask yourself, can you keep it confined that way? Or can he?
Let me tell you something that actually happened. Two people who were very good friends. The guy started to have feelings for the girl, and proposed, she refused. Later the girl started to have feelings for the guy, then he backed out. They were out of touch for some time, and then got back in touch again. By this time both of them were engaged to different people. The girl's fiance and the guy were also good friends. But then they realised that the old feelings wouldn't go away and the engagements ended up in dust.
Would the same thing happen in your case? Will you be the reason for him to break off from his existing partner? Most importantly, do you want that to happen? I know I'm throwing up more questions than you have. Am I confusing you more? If yes, then Sorry. But then, this is something you need to decide for yourself, by understanding your feelings for him.
You see, there is no black and white in human relationships. It's mostly grey. And what is black for one, might be white for another.
2007-03-16 18:50:48 · answer #1 · answered by raucous raphael 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question is is this something you wish to continue? Or are you just needing closure? I feel that you are being manipulated. I would say sayonara and walk with my dignity.
2007-03-17 10:40:54 · answer #2 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so for 9 months he cheated on you with another ? right ?
have you learned anything from that ? ????
now he is with some other girl ? cool for him ?
if you are # just # friends ? sure , why not forget all of this ? dating him ? NO ! once a looser ? .................
please , even if you forgave him ? do not go down that road again ........otherwise ? you will not have learn anything from this :-)
2007-03-23 18:03:39 · answer #3 · answered by HJW 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to pay for the same show again. your heart will tell you.
2007-03-23 16:39:31 · answer #4 · answered by J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all ask yourself if you love him or not...
2007-03-23 04:48:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋