How man of you have been married over 10 years see ? below?

Question

How many of you have been married 10 years or more, Do you think there are people that are happy with thier marriage?
Do you mind the media overstating that one out of every two marraige end in divorce. What is the key to longevity in a marriage? I am married 13 years and I am still learning and growing. How do you keep your marraige healthy and strong?
I ask this question so I can be a better wife and partner to my husband. This question was on my mind so that is why I am posting this. God bless you for your answers and peace be with you.

Answer 1

Great question and one could probably go on for hours with an answer. I have a feeling, in that you are religiously based, that you have a good handle on what it takes to be successful in a marriage but here are a few thoughts. I think a couple needs to realize consciously, early on, that they are both human, so tolerance, patience and forgiveness is paramount. There will be mistakes made and it is so important for there to be responsibility taken as well as forgiveness given. I sometimes think that if couples would simply challenge themselves each day to try and see how much they can show their partner how much they care for them, it would avoid many ills. And most of this stuff is small things, like helping out around the house or special attention given after a bad day at work. Time....time given to one another is precious and is usually welcomed the most. The small courtesy things you can do for each other goes miles in enriching your relationship and making the bond so deep. And it will serve you well if and when the bad times come. Oh and did I mention that all these things are things that if done well outside the bedroom will enhance all that goes on behind closed doors. Foreplay begins outside the bedroom. Like I said I have a funny feeling I am preaching to the choir in that much of this, I am sure you already know....Good Luck!

Answer 2

I think the key to my marriage lasting for nearly 18 years is that we have open communication between us and we are honest with each other. We sometimes do things that get on each others nerves or make each other mad, but we address it and talk about those things in love and usually resolve the problems with that. If we somehow can't resolve a problem, which is rare, then we agree to disagree and move on with our life together. I will often overlook something my husband might do that annoys me and say nothing at all because whatever it was is just so much a part of him and I love him so I take him as he is. I learned long ago that the only one I can change and improve upon in this world is myself so I remind myself of this fact and let it go when I am annoyed. Soon I have forgotten what caused the annoyance anyhow and all is well. I think it is really important to remember that even though we became as one when we married, we still have individual personalities and minds that will sometimes disagree. The real trick is looking at those "problems" and deciding if I can live with it the way it is or not. Accepting the fact that we cannot change the way another person is helps to quiet my tongue whenever I feel I have a worthy complaint. A word or two spoken in love goes a lot farther than a nagging comment. Thanks for asking!

Answer 3

I was married for ten years. My marriage would have stayed if my (now ex) husband had bothered to actually do any work making it so. Marriage just cannot be saved by one person; BOTH parties must work at it.

I am married a second time and despite some serious issues and problems, I know our marriage is strong and will last forever now because we BOTH put it as a priority (tied with caring for the kids) and we BOTH work on it together. If you can't both work on it, then why are you married? That was the question that made me realize it was time to divorce. I'm still glad I did. And I am glad I found someone who not only loves me and the kids but makes it his priority too.

Answer 4

I would think there are several keys:

1. Remain true to your vows. When you get married, you're making a vow to God and everyone that you will foresake all others, take care of your spouse in good times and bad, etc.

2. Really listen to your spouse and what's going on in their lives.

3. Don't take them for granted. I do some of the cooking but on those nights my wife cooks, I make a point to tell her it was good (even if it wasn't all that good) and that I appreciated her creating dinner.

4. Try to be understanding when they're going through a rough time. My wife had thyroid cancer about a year ago and had to have several surgeries and a massive dose of radiation. She was on a real emotional rollercoaster and was NOT the easiest person to live with. We (the kids and I) just tried to smile and be nice and accomodate her as much as possible.

5. Try to laugh as much as possible. If you can't find stuff to laugh at in life, you're in serious trouble.

There are no set rules or guidelines but we've been married almost 19 years and those are a start. I think part of the reason for the high divorce rate is that people are lazy and it's easier to just throw in the towel without really trying to work it out. We also live in a disposable world. If you get tired of anything, just chunk it. So now, if you get tired of your spouse, just toss him/her to the curb and start over.

Kind of sad. Well, that's my 2 cents.

Answer 5

We have been married over 17 years, and I totally agree with you. We learn more about each other every day, and our love grows stronger and deeper. It's communicating, it's not being selfish, it's putting yourself in the other's place, realizing the amazing differences between men and women and respecting those, compromizing -- lots of things. Marriage is hard work, and you have to be mature and nurture the relationship.

Answer 6

My husband and I have been married for 20 years. Yes, we are both happy, thanks to God! There are many people who are happy with their marriage indeed.

The key to longevity in a marriage, and this is my opinion, appreciation, love, and respect for one another.

Appreciate everything your husband does, even if it is the little things he does for you.

Love him, love him, and keep loving him.

Respect him and he will respect you. Treat him like a King and he will treat you like a Queen.

With God, all things are possible to keep your marriage healthy and strong.

I would consider on reading these two great books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". I challenge you and your husband to read these....you will thank me later.

Answer 7

You keep it alive and getting stronger by not forgetting how to treat that special one in your life. Live the wedding vows each and every day and never miss an opportunity for a hug, a kiss, and to say I love you(and mean it). Never go to bed angry with each other and cherish every minute as though it will be your last. Trust me - you have many regrets when they are taken from you.

Answer 8

Many people don't have the slightest clue any longer about marriage, nor do they have a sense of committment at all. You can thank liberalism in the culture for mostly all of the marital problems that exist.

Most people are selfish and shallow any more, beyond belief.

Answer 9

main thing to remember in a marriage is that you both have to give 100%, 24/7. Never take each other for granted, and always be supportive.

Answer 10

I've been married for 25 years, and it is not always easy. Mrs. m00nd0ct0r and myself have our ups and downs. But communication and honesty and love are the main things that keep us going. You have to find time to spend with each other and keep your relationship alive.