my son and gf had a baby a month ago?

Question

my sons gf has been so rude to me when all i did was help her and mentaly suport her for 10 months, now she and her friend who is 45 yrs old and she my sons gf is 20 yrs old, are chummy, well anyways now my sons gf and i got in an arguement reagrding my son, she has been so rude and two faced of me latley that i got to the point i told her if she dont respect me anymore dont come to my house. she picked to not respect me and is saying to my son she will nevr bring baby to my house and wont let us see him(grandchild) she is mad also because i wanna be called nanna not grandma.. just my preference is all. seems to me she is using this baby as a hostage bag, sorry i cant play that game, my son lives at home and she lives with her parents... and my son does not go to her home either. so they drive around the city with the baby when she does come see m y son for the day. this is evryday for many hours. anyways what should i do? i tried talking to her, son on her side,

Answer 1

Be humble, give in, be nice to yr sons gf and you'll see changes.

Answer 2

ok. i'm 21and my bf and i have a 2 yr. old daughter. All this to say we kinda have the same situation, but neither one of us disrespects the other's family like that. It seems to me that ur son's gf does not appreciate anything that she has. My parents set limits in the beginning with the whole visiting thing with my bf at first ( which was a little hard at first but was the best in the end)....but after i turned 21 the rules changed (since i'm an adult ) I honestly think you should sit down with both of them and talk about what they're plans are. Are they going to get married? Is she going to let you aand your son be involved in the baby's life if they aren't? I think it's important to consider these things. Make sure they both want the same things. If they aren't on the same page then that could be part of the problem. Tell her how you feel without being attacking or being emotional. Or maybe the gf just needs some time to herself. Offer to babysit or let ur son and her go on a date. This might help. She could just be feeling overwhelmed and uncertian about things. If none of these work I would give it some time. Back off a little and she'll come around.

Answer 3

Well see what happens when kids have kids. They are kids...this is how they act when brought up not respecting themselves enough to realize they shouldn't have sex this early. So its no wonder you are having problems. They have a baby and they are just kids themselves. Your son lives with you and she lives with her parents right?. I wouldn't normally suggest this but like I said we are talking about kids here...children, and they are acting like children. So this is what you do...call her parents and see if you adults can come to some sort of agreement on how the adults can guide the children better. Maybe all of you need to get together and talk about any and all issues since it is obvious that these children can't work out the problems for themselves. See, even though the children have a child they still need some adult guidance from you adults. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Your son is going to be on her side because she is his girlfriend and she is the mother of his baby. It is too bad that he didn't marry her to make things right.

I really think that you should stay out of their business. Now that your son is a father, he needs to do what it takes to move out of the home to get his own place and considering on marrying this girl for the sake of their child. Your son and his girlfriend have the right to bring up their child to call you grandma, which ever they prefer. Don't try to control them on how they should raise their child.

Your son needs to become a man now and start thinking about raising his kid. That's what you should be telling him, instead of getting into what name the baby should call you! You should encourage him to get a job, get a place to live, marry her so they can be a family. You are just making it worse by talking bad about how she is. When probably you are bad yourself.

You are an adult, so maybe you should try and apologize to her, because if your son does marry her, she will be a part of the family. Might as well start now. But, do stay out of their business. Hopefully, your son will do the right thing.

What they do outside of the house with their child, is really none of your business. So stay out of it.

Answer 5

You need to let the two of them work things out and back off. Your son was man enough to get her pregnant and if you feel You raised him Right give him a chance to clear things up. Do not judge the gf because that is really none of your business. How the two of them get along and handle the child should not be guided by your wishes.

Answer 6

Since Son is on her side, there’s really nothing you can do (other than making nice with her). As far as grandparent visitation, in order to awarded that you would have to prove to the court that it would harm the child not to see you. One thing the court looks at heavily is your previous relationship/bond with the child. This child is only 1 month old. It’s not a case of a 5-year-old who has always had a relationship with you and that has suddenly ceased. Talk to a local attorney, but, in my opinion, your chances of being successful at gaining grandparent visitation are VERY SLIM.

Answer 7

Easy!Tell your son if he is old enought o make babies, he is old enough to get out and get a job and a place ofhis own.Time for him to be a man, not just a sperm donor.The girls parents need to tell her the same thing.You should have NEVER let her move in.Yes they WILL be mad at you for a while, but theyll get over it.If they cannot take care of the baby, then you call DSS and explain the situation to them.DSS will help you see the child.

Answer 8

It doesn't matter what she wants or thinks, in the US the grandparents have rights, consult an attorney. Good luck and I hope all of you can settle your differences. But on a personal note, I'm a new parent and I wouldn't think of not allowing my in-laws to see my daughter, your son's girlfriend is a real heartless b*tch. But that's just my personal opinion.....Go get her Nanna.

Answer 9

There are several good answers already.

My two cents is to not come on too hard to see the baby. Once she realizes that, it won't be long before you get to see the baby more often.

By the way, your son needs to be more responsible. Tell him so and don't let him be a disappointment to himself or his child.

Answer 10

apparently she was not brought up to respect anyone, and much less herself. But yes, it is your house, and she must respect you. If you want to be called Nana, then Nana you should be called. Now this may be what she wants the baby to call her mom.....I chose Ma...it was close to mom (ROFL).
It is obvious that she is immature and needs to grow up.

And just so you know....check with your state laws.....but many states have laws for grandparents...because so many parents have tried to keep the grand kids away from the grandparents.....so they finally stood up and some states have laws.....and if your state has this law ..... the she cannot keep that child from seeing you are you seeing it.

Answer 11

No matter how mad she makes you, she is your son's choice and will always be a part of his life. It sounds like you need to show the mother of your grandchild more respect... if you do, things might improve.