my son and gf had a baby a month ago?

Question

my sons gf has been so rude to me when all i did was help her and mentaly suport her for 10 months, now she and her friend who is 45 yrs old and she my sons gf is 20 yrs old, are chummy, well anyways now my sons gf and i got in an arguement reagrding my son, she has been so rude and two faced of me latley that i got to the point i told her if she dont respect me anymore dont come to my house. she picked to not respect me and is saying to my son she will nevr bring baby to my house and wont let us see him(grandchild) she is mad also because i wanna be called nanna not grandma.. just my preference is all. seems to me she is using this baby as a hostage bag, sorry i cant play that game, my son lives at home and she lives with her parents... and my son does not go to her home either. so they drive around the city with the baby when she does come see m y son for the day. this is evryday for many hours. anyways what should i do? i tried talking to her, son on her side,

Answer 1

How sad, poor baby.

Answer 2

Why does your son not go to the girlfriend's parents house? What a sad situation for everyone concerned! The gf is absolutely very immature and your son is between a rock & a hard place. To keep the peace, and most importantly so as not to lose both your son and your grandchild, you should be the mature, kind and forgiving person of the trio. Ask your son and his gf to sit down and talk to you. Be calm, rational, forgiving and kind. Let her know that this has been stressful for everyone but you are concerned for them and only want the best for them and the baby. Tell her that even if she does not like you that she needs to show respect because you are the grandparent and her elder. Tell them you want to help them and then see what happens. Much depends on their maturity and your ability to not be judgemental. Be kind but firm. Good luck.

Answer 3

What a sad situation for all of you! That baby will need everyone in its life to love it and pull together so that it can be stable and healthy.

What I see here is a battle of pride more than love. She's too proud to submit to your request for respect, and you're too proud to apologize for whatever you said during the argument that made her mad.

If you want to see that baby, forget your pride, have a nice, calm talk with your son and his gf, and get this smoothed out quickly.

Also, consider that she may be suffering from post-partum depression and the stress of being a new mom. 20 year olds are not very mature and they need the 'older woman' to be gentler and kinder to them.

Try apologizing and then talking. They may be more willing to listen then. Good luck, Nanna. I hope your grandbaby will reap the benefit of your love.

Answer 4

It is terrible that you are in this position. It certainly sounds like she's using the baby against you... which is very immature. But, the sad fact is that you have to be nice to the mother of your grandchild if you want to ensure that you'll be in your grandchild's life. You might have to swallow your pride a little. I personally don't see the big deal about you wanting to be called Nana. That's what my son calls my Mom... but if she has such a big problem with it that she'd rather stay away... maybe you should concede. Talk to her. Tell her that you guys might not always agree on things but you would love to have a relationship with your grandchild and that you feel he deserves to have as many people in his life who truly love him as possible.

Answer 5

HERE LIES THE PROBLEM
"well anyways now my sons gf and i got in an arguement reagrding my son"

why are you involving yourself in arguments about your SONS relationship? YOUR SON HAS HIS OWN FAMILY TO WORRY ABOUT NOW STAY OUT OF IT.


"now she and her friend who is 45 yrs old and she my sons gf is 20 yrs old, are chummy, "

its not really your business who she is chummy with shes grown and so is your son. if its anybodys problem its your sons problem you dont have a right to speak on that

> you have every right to kick her outta your house its your house. but its also HER child so deal.

you are more at fault than you think. why do u think your son is on HER side.
if she does agree to come back over BUTT OUT of their personal lives and spend time with ur grandchild if thats what u want to do.

Answer 6

She can't legally keep you from your grandchild unless she can prove u are unfit. Just take her to court for Grandparents Rights. My Grandparents did it with me and my brothers and sister. You get visiting time just like if you were a divorced couple. Good Luck.
My mom has made me mad a few times (to the point I don't want to see her for a few days), but I would never keep my son from her, I may have my husband take him to her, but she still gets time with him. She should realize that the argument is between the two of u. The baby shouldn't pay for it. And what kind of "quality time" is it for your son and his child to be driving around town...that's crazy, sounds like they are really immature.

Answer 7

Oh my goodness. For starters, if your son is old enough to have a baby, maybe he should move out of him mommies house (no offense to you). I think that the mother is equally immature and ignorant. If you suspect any type of abuse you should try to gain custody of the baby.

Why someone would oppose to you to be called "nana" is unquestionably suspicious. The term "nana" is in no way offensive to anybody. If she has a problem with it, she just has a problem with you .....period.....so very sorry.

"Nana" is historically an endearing term meant to specify a certain female in the family. And unless she uses that term on another relative of hers (possible), she would be being unreasonable and mean spirited. But if she does already refer to a loved one as "Nana", maybe you can find another nickname that will fit in it's place. ;)

Answer 8

well if this conflict you have with your sons gf is gonna keep going on it will effect everyone around teh kid.it will make things awkward. some times you have to step aside she wont respect you if you dont respect her. your help wont go to waste =] it will create a positive surrounding. and shell probably get to know you more, also try to reason with her or just ignore her well good luck

Answer 9

I don't think this is about the baby. I think this is about you and her's relashonship. The baby does not need in the middle of this. You don't have to get along with her, or even talk to her. Just ignore her because they baby needs both parents in his/her life. The bigger person walks away, not stands and fight

Answer 10

Wow been there. All of you need to see a counselor and talk things out don't be afraid because your talking about a child a baby who needs all of you.

Answer 11

If she's that rude, and your son is already having a baby with her (and on her side), I say kick him out! Your house, you deserve to get your respect!