Am i over reacting?

Question

My husband accidently stood on my new black leather shoes for work that are worth $90. I told him to watch out for my shoe so he went off at me for being upset over the shoe and stomped on them, now they have a small cut on top of the shoe. i feel as if i can' t have anyhthing nice to myself.

Answer 1

Holy cow, this man stomped your shoes and you allowed him to live? You're a mild tempered woman. No, you're not over reacting, but there is one piece of the puzzle missing.....where were the shoes? In the middle of the floor? In the closet? Out of a walk area? In a walk area? Regardless of where they were, you're not, but where they were at when this took place determines whether or not he over reacted. 2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 lefts do....That has nothing to do with this, but I hoped maybe it would make you smile.

Answer 2

It sounds like he's the one who overreacted if he went off on your for simply asking him to watch out for your shoes.

If you really feel like you can't have anything nice, then there's a problem. Does he do something to ruin it everytime that you do something nice for yourself? If it was just this one time...then maybe he was just having a really bad day. If he exhibits this sort of behavior all of the time, then he's showing controlling and angry behavior. This could be a sign of coming emotional abuse. Stopping you from being happy, or resenting you for having something that makes you happy is a sign that he wants to control your happiness.

I'd keep an eye out for similar behavior. If he persists, talk to him about it or get help from a counselor.

Answer 3

I don't think anybody can gage whether you were over reacting in your reaction to your husband but yourself. It would all depend on the exact words, gestures & intonation that you used. From how you described it, it definitely does not sound like you were over reacting. It sounds like you were just telling him to be aware of your shoes. It definitely sounds like he was over reacting to you. Perhaps his reaction was from frustration that had accumulated from other events prior to this one. Why don't you ask him nicely what was really bothering him & find out what is the root of the problem?

Answer 4

Why is he so disrespectul? Is he angry over something and taking it out on your things? How can one accidentally stand on shoes? And how can they now have a small cut on them -- he must have really done a dance on them. Try talking to him when he's calmed down and see if you can get him to tell you if there's something bothering him that's making him act like this. Good luck

Answer 5

You said you can't have anything nice to for yourself. That didn't happen just because he stepped on your shoes! Did it? He is the one who over reacted to a legitimate concern and that should send up a red flag.

Answer 6

The guy is a dick...... If your close in your relationship he would know that you love your shoes and would have respected that. I would make him purchase a new pair and maybe that might teach him a lesson.

Good luck

Answer 7

i hate to say it you should of put them in the closet maybe you can get them fixed .i would tell your hubby to come up with 90 bucks next week or hes cut off for a few months thats childish destroying stuff.

Answer 8

Find something of his that is worth around $90 and damage it. The old eye for a eye..........

Answer 9

Yes you are overreacting. so is he. they are shoes. you both need to calm down. ohh and buy cheaper shoes.

Answer 10

This is going to sound harsh, but you need to divorce him. No self respecting man would pull that crap. I'm sure you deserve far better. Believe me, it will get worse.