ive been married 19 years and have 2 lovely kids.i met my wife when we where we where 18 we were virgins so i thought until her friend told wo year into my marriage me that she had a full se#ual relationship with her boyfriend of two years when i confronted her she said that her friend was lying and she had only tried it a couple of times !!! and our first time together she told acted the virginity thing.and early in our relationship i always found the body language was unusual with different friends of mine over the years i would ask her and she said i was just being paranoid but one of my married friends became to friendly coming over all the time and one night at there house i caught them staring at each other over the dinner table smiling i asked my wife whats going on again she said i was being paranoid.no sooner wmy wife said she didnt to see that couple again as she felt she was the one making all the effort .then it came out that she was passionately kissing him at a nightclub
2007-03-16 17:06:02 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she was spotted by several of my friends she told me it was a one of but when happend we sort of became more friendly with this couple .all this was about 10 years ago and beyond i totally love my wife and she is a great wife and mother but sometimes i cant help thinking what about my other friends and blokes that i had accused her of as im not a jealous or paranoid sort of person .now we are in our thirtys things r great but always in my mind
2007-03-16 17:11:11 · update #1
my wife has only went out to pubs about six times in our relationship.the last ten years have been magic but just cant fully get thoughts out of my head.every time i ask her about it she begs me that nothing happened and that she loves me.
2007-03-16 17:30:51 · update #2
So she's a cheater. Can you live with a cheater? Some people can, but I'm guessing you can't, otherwise you wouldn't be worrying about it to the point of asking for advice. Just remember one thing: She will always be a cheater. You can't change her behaviour, you can only change how you react to it.
2007-03-16 17:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Jealousy is cruel to the grave. It does you no good and it probably drives her nuts. If there is any way you can find it in your heart to forgive her you should. If she has been faithful for ten years then her wild days are most likely over. If you feel this strongly though perhaps you should talk to her. Tell her that you want to know the truth about everything that happened. Ask her how she feels about what she has done. Express that if she ever cheats again its over (in a more gentle way). There has to be trust in a marraige as well as love. After that, I would resolve in my heart to forget it. Bury it. Go on and never look back on what she has done. I have seen marraiges resurected from ashes. Trust and forgiveness are strong reasons to stay with someone but paranoia and jealousy will only push her away. I hope you can work it out. You have been together a long time. I think all marraiges are tested and stretched to the limits. Only those who are willing to hold on make it. You should feel good about what you and your wife have accomplished. Most people never make it past seven years.
2007-03-17 01:22:03 · answer #2 · answered by Cindy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am not sure asking us is the right thing to do here. None of us actually know you two, and we can only give you our thoughts-so do keep that in mind. I see that your wife was dishonest with you from the start, which doesn't leave a good foundation for a healthy marriage. It would depend what happened at that time in conversation you two decided on about her lying? Did you just let it go, or talk it over to make sure it would not happen again? Your wife does sound a bit wishy washy, about not wanting to see that other couple again! I think it's time you two had a heart to heart talk, and I would probably let her know your not feeling to good about her actions. She can say what she wants, but you feel she is not being completely honest. How would she like it if this were all reversed?
2007-03-17 00:17:10 · answer #3 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
"all this was about 10 years ago and beyond i totally love my wife and she is a great wife and mother but sometimes i cant help thinking what about my other friends and blokes that i had accused her of as im not a jealous or paranoid sort of person .now we are in our thirtys things r great but always in my mind"
You answered your own worry.....since you did not pose a real question.
Nearly 20 years of marriage and the past 10 have been without issues so........ leave it alone.
A kiss is a kiss...... sex before you were married is out of bounds to complain about.....So what that she tried it ..who cares...I am willing to bet you are not a saint either.
What is important is what you yourself said "i totally love my wife and she is a great wife and mother "
Leave the past in the past and just love your wife as you said you do.
2007-03-17 00:30:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like she's very trustworthy to me, if this is all true. It is easy, however to be paranoid. It sounds like this may have been a long time ago. Is there some underlying issue here?? How did it "come out" about the passionate kissing? How have things been since then? If you choose not to "trust her" what does that mean for your mental health and your relationship?
2007-03-17 00:12:50 · answer #5 · answered by Robin R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow! well thats a hard one to call...honestly knowing how females are she probably is a liar at least to some degree...from what you have said so far i wouldnt trust her as far as i could throw her...i think if nothing else the kissing at the club would have been the last straw...obviously you love her and obviously she married you for one reason or another and you of all people probably know your wife best so if i were you i would sit back and seriously think things through, read between the lines and maybe investigate if you want the truth it seems quite apparent she aint gonna fess up to nothin on her own!! you and her should have a heart to heart talk and if the marriage is still worth it to both of you for all the right reasons i would definitely suggest some professional counseling like ASAP!!
2007-03-17 00:21:02 · answer #6 · answered by ELIZY 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't believe everything people tell you. Some people like to feed into insecurities. If they have been cheated on, they may suspect everyone of cheating. Talk to your wife. That is the best option. If you found she had cheated on you, or is currently cheating on you, would you leave her? Would you try and work things out? Once you have answered these questions for yourself, you need to sit down and talk to her. I believe that trust can be earned back, but there has to be a clean slate with all the past behind and both parties willing to make a true effort to change things. You have to decide who you believe more...your friends or your wife. If you have questions still...follow her.
2007-03-17 00:27:23 · answer #7 · answered by Ammikins 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Some people think it's best not to give details of sexual experiences before marriage but it's deceitful to make one believe you're a virgin when you're not. It sounds like your wife has not been acting married and you have good reason to not trust her. You're not being "paranoid" -- see if you can get her to come clean with what she's been doing and if you can get her into marriage counseling -- 19 yrs. is a long time to throw away but it's not fair to you if she's not being faithful.
2007-03-17 00:30:52 · answer #8 · answered by GrnEyedBlondeSwede 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'll ask her again right after she finishes giving me this great BJ. She sure loves to suck my c o c k and it's been going on for almost 19 years.
2007-03-17 09:43:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you know for a fact she was kissing him?Does she go to the nightclubs without you?You might want to call cheaters and see if they can catch her.You dont need her to bring you aids with 2 kids to raise.
2007-03-17 00:12:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋