.Recently Widowed. When is it a good time to start dating?

Question

After a 10 Yr fight with cancer my wife passed away. What I'd like to know is when is a good time to start dating. First of all I am not looking to replace my childrens mother. Second I don't want to get married again. I just want companionship as all people do. What do you think the best timing is to start dating again?

She passed away Feb 17and she was burried 4 days later on our 19th anniversary.

Answer 1

Hi Iaidoka,
First of all, my condolences with you loss..............
I know, this must be hard for you...
I am working in "the medical field", and see this regularly....
>>>>>>>>>
You know, you cannot put time on it...
You have to "heal", first...
Give your wife, a place in your heart, and when someone.. on your path comes along... and you feel comfortable with her presence... then you can let someone in your life.....
>>>>>>>>>>>
You will know : "when it feels right" .................. to let somebody in...
Don't do this sooner, because some people can make advantage of your situation... and for all the above reasons....
>>>>>>>>
I wish you : a lot of courage and peace of mind ......... and the friendship....you deserve.....

All the best! ............ and you have my support!!

Thanks, for the question!

My regards!

Take care of yourself...................

Answer 2

when you feel is time. there is not realy a set timeline.I too lost my wife 6 months ago to a car accident. And There are times that I miss her terribly and there are times I wouldnd mind some companionship, but I sit and think that my frame of mind is not ready for a new relationship.

I have her 14y/o daughter so my situation is a bit different since I will be replacing her mom with another woman shes been very vocal about the fact that I can not date anyone but in due time she will also understand.

So in short if you feel ready go for it

Answer 3

I was widowed almost four years ago. I started dating a year later, but was not ready to. I could not give anything to anyone yet. I still miss him and always will, but the time is coming when I can meet and like someone for themselves. When that time comes you will know it. Don't push it though. Just be patient, The timing is right when you find someone you like. She will be there when you are ready to give your friendship.

Answer 4

Sadly, no one can answer that for you... When are you ready to let someone else into your heart again? Its not fair to someone else (this new woman, whoever she is) to only get part of you. No one will ever replace the woman you married, in your eyes or your children's however, someone can fill a new place in your heart and become the apple of your eye, so to speak. There's almost no "too soon" from an outside perspective, it all has to do with your heart and mind... no one else's... ask yourself if you're ready to share yourself with someone the way you did before...
*hugs* i'm sorry about your wife, it must have been a difficult 10 years for your entire family...

Answer 5

I was suddenly widowed 3yrs ago and still trying to get back into dating for friendship. I'm guessing there another magic wand out there. being a widow is the worst.

Answer 6

When you are widowed by a long-term illness, the grieving started the day you found out, so start dating anytime you feel you are ready.

Just make sure you are up front and honest with your kids and the woman(women) you date that you are not looking for a committed relationship. Sometimes the best companions for widowed spouses are adult loss support groups, many of them are looking for the same thing.

Answer 7

my father passed away and two months later my mother met a man who shared her love of fishing. He had just lost his wife to cancer three months earlier. anyway, he showed up on the fishing bank with a bucket of worms and stole my mama's heart. all of his grown kids went berserk about their relationship. All of my mama's grown kids, said,,,,,,,,,whatever makes you happy is what counts. they have been together for five years now and everyone has calmed down, lol. Love knows no age or time. Go out and have a good time, find someone to spend time with. Those who give you a hard time or take time to judge you dont matter. what matters most is that you live your life for yourself, not them. Your wife is gone, you cant bring her back. cherish her memories and go make some new ones. good luck. (go dig a bucket of worms, lol)

Answer 8

When you are ready and and you have talked to you children. Just because your with some one it does not mean you will not feel alone, and dont go out comparing others to your wife. Good luck on your journey

Answer 9

Well,if your horny go and do what u have to do.If ur not ready,which only you can decide by the way,then don't try to go after someone for the "sake of your children".Talk to ur kids about it first and see how they feel about it before you go fallin' in "love",if they don't agree with you for whatever choice u choose,then talk to them and tell them that they're first and will always be first,but be careful with what ever women you get with because there are a lot of mean "bitches" out there.

Answer 10

There is no proper standard that anyone can prescribe because your relationship with your wife is unique.

The best time is when you and your children have grieved and are ready to accept the fact that she has moved on. Your children don't dictate your lifestyle of course, but please consider them in your decision.