I love my wife?

Question

I took a day of vacation to be w/ the wife and kids (i'm separated) and go over and end up spending most of the day doing yardwork instead of spending time with the kids. I got to have dinner w/ them and held her hand (we are going to counseling and our relationship is improving immensely). I do the dishes for her, put stuff away, read stories to the kids, listen and talk to her and basically be at her beck and call. I'll do anything for a hug. I got it bad for her. Someone slap me. Am I making a fool of myself just to get some crumbs thrown at me or is this normal for a guy in love with his wife.

Answer 1

This is perfectly normal behavior for a man in love. One piece of advice though? The dishes, yardwork, putting stuff away, reading to the kids, listening and talking to your wife and being at her beck and call are all things that are supposed to be done without expecting anything in return...it's called "running a household" and "being married". The fact that you think you're acting like a fool by doing these things, means you have a tad bit more "work" to do in the relationship arena.

Answer 2

I don't think that you are making a fool of yourself, but marriage should be 50/50. My marriage is the same, only I am the one doing everything. I don't know how much longer I can take it. There is no excitment anymore. Are you happy with this arragement? The fun of being married is doing things together. If you are going to do everything yourself, you may as well be single. Which is excatally how I feel. Does the couslor know that this is how things are going? I would be shocked if they felt this was a healthy relationship. You first have to decide if you are happy, if not, then things must change if you are going to be together. If you are happy with the way it is, save your money, stop the couseling, and just continue being at her beck and call. Good Luck and I hope you find the happiness you are looking for.

Answer 3

I do not think it is a bad thing to love your wife even if you are separated from her, and I definitely don't think you are making a fool of yourself, there are a lot worse things out there than loving your wife. Love is that unconditional bond between two individuals. I am not sure of the circumstances that brought you two apart, but I am aware of the feeling of growing apart from the one you love. I think that she may still feel love towards you, seeings how you are spending that quality time together, but again I am not sure about this, I can only go on what you have said and what you said seems to favor a possible reuniting of the two of you. I wish you the best in this and I only hope that it gets resolved soon for you. I will keep you in my prayers on this one.

Answer 4

If you really see a chance for your marriage working out, you should not be slapped...just be careful, make sure your wife knows that you might not always be at her beck and call (or will you), just so she knows what to expect. However, if she gives you hints that nothing you can do will change your situation, then you should more concentrate on the kids.

Answer 5

I think its fantastic if u r wanting to work things out. If what it takes to make u realize that she is the most important woman in your life to separate and get counciling, then i am all for it.
The two of you have kids and apparently still deeply care for one another. Keep it up. Dont worry about what others think. She and your family are whats most important.
I could only wish that all men would see what u have and do what u are doing to salvage a good thing.
Good luck and best wishes for a bright future with your family.

Answer 6

sounds like you really love your wife. My question is why did you separate if you still love her. Right now, you situations sounds like you still going thru the motions of being there for her and your kids . Nothing wrong with that. you showing your kids what type of daddy you are inspite of you guys differences. Continue to be the loving daddy, but know the limit with your wife. You can only be kind so long, if she's not responding back.

Answer 7

You need to stop doing all of those thing for her. She is using you to do all of these things. I think she figures that since you will just do this, then you do not need to get back together.

I am not saying she does not love you, but I think you should keep talking and going to counseling to resolve this matter.

It sounds like you do not want to get divorced, and I think that you really need to try to work on the relationship, and not the household chores that are not yours. She can do them.

Answer 8

Your wife is a very lucky woman. You are truly putting forth the extra effort to be and to do. If your family is worth it to you...HOLD On and hold on tight. I hope she sees what you are trying to do. I would have loved for you to give instructions to my FIRST husband...you sound like my second hubby, loving, caring and giving in all areas. Your wife is as lucky the first time around as I was the SECOND time around. GOOD LUCK and LOTs of prayers. May you not need a second go at it to get it right.

Answer 9

I believe a marriage involves give and take. Sounds like you're doing all of the giving, and she's doing all of the taking. That's something that should be brought up with the counselor.
You deserve better. Get your hugs from the kids. Find a woman who respects you.

Answer 10

You love her then stay with her. Do what ever it takes to win your family back. But don't be a fool. If she says I don't love you anymore then its time to pack up and hit the road. There are people out there who will love you whole heartedly, and renew your spirit. You be the judge of that. I have been there!