At a party a while ago, I met a guy and we talked until late in the morning until I nearly fell asleep a few times. Then, he kissed me even after I told him i had a boyfriend and I felt my heart die right then. I cant tell my boyfriend because he will never see me the same and no one else knows about it. That boy is long gone and even lives in another state, but I still feel guilty every time I see my boy. I'm in love with my boyfriend, and I don't want the stupid kiss to come between us -- we've been going out for a year and a half. But then again he deserves to know and it kills me not to tell him. Was the event serious enough to tell him and ruin his view of me? I don't know what to do.
2007-03-16 16:34:16 · 17 answers · asked by okay_shanaynay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Look , DO not tell him! It was not cheating but it was unfair and unsavory... The good thing is that you loved your man enough to stop at kissing. You have also learned that you don't have a cheater's heart...you feel guilty and use that as your motivation to NEVER let yourself get into a situation like that again.
Do not tell your boyfriend... men are harsher and less forgiving of this type of thing. Just use your guilt as motivation to never do it again... If you tell him it will hurt him terribly.If you tell him you will lose him or at the very least you will lose his trust. Once trust has been broken it is VERY , VERY hard to get back to happy place in your relationship.
Please stop beating yourself up for this...You made a mistake... Forgive yourself.
2007-03-16 17:08:34 · answer #1 · answered by yeah , yeah whatever 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not cheating. The guy kissed you AFTER you told him that you had a b/f. You didn't intentionally try one on him did you? I think that you should tell your b/f. I find that an open relationship is an honest relationship. If a chick kissed your man would you expect him to let you know? If he doesn't see you the same way afterwards then maybe it's just not meant to be. But I'm sure you are just blowing things out of proportion.
2007-03-16 16:41:30 · answer #2 · answered by Elyse h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you tell him in the right way, it may not destroy your relationship... it might just make it stronger...
"Honey, you are so important to me and something has been bugging me that i want to talk to you about. A random guy i met at a party took me totally by surprise and kissed me, even though i told him i have a boyfriend who i love. I didn't ask him to kiss me, and i didn't kiss him. It bothers me to not talk to you about stuff that upsets me, but i was worried that you would be angry at me. I'm sorry i didn't tell you right away, i love you"
some variation of that might work and then you're being honest (brownie points), you trust him not to freak out (more brownie points), and you don't feel guilty anymore (no more brownie points, but its a good thing)... you can't expect a relationship to last if you're not honest and trusting...
2007-03-16 16:41:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why tell him about a guy that kissed you, you didn't kiss him.. If you tell your boyfriend then he is going to put more into it then there was. and possibley not trust you no more. or worse break up with you.
I don't think that what happened is seriouse enough to even feel guilty for it.. just go on as usual. and pretend that it was just a dream you had. or somehting. don't make it worse then it was.
honesty is a good thing. but in true honesty. you didn't kiss the guy, he kissed you.. and he's gone. its your choice.
2007-03-16 16:43:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, not really.
The guy advanced on you knowing you had a bf anyway so it's not really your fault.
However, wisdom should tell you to be wary of any guy, especially those who try to be more than friends because your heart is spoken for and you should guard it jealously as such.
I don't know your boyfriend. You know best how he would react.Still, ideally, I would advise an honest approach simply because secrets have a tendency of separating you from the one you love especially when you let it linger and grow. When you tell him, make sure it is the truth. If he truly loves you, nohting you say can truly ruin his view of you.
Good luck.
2007-03-16 16:59:51 · answer #5 · answered by Studier Alpha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't you push the guy away when he leaned in for the kiss? Why did you spend so much time with this guy if you claim to "love" your bf so much?
You need to tell your bf. Honesty is the best policy and it's better coming from you then from someone else.
Put yourself in his shoes. What if he had done that with some other girl?
If it's meant to be between you two then he'll stay with you.
2007-03-16 16:38:50 · answer #6 · answered by Misty Eyes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So long as you don't plan to let something like that happen again and will stop the guy the next time I see no sense in hurting him, but if your conscience can't take it then you have no choice but to tell him.
2007-03-16 16:39:49 · answer #7 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is great that you feel guilty about it. And that nothing more than what you mentioned happened. So, learn your lesson and don't let yourself get put in those situations again. And let it go. The guilt will fade. Do not say anything to your man.
2007-03-16 16:38:33 · answer #8 · answered by guitarrista_sean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me once. Luckily my boyfriend was very understanding so I knew I could tell him. He was not happy with the other guy but we were okay. If you think your boyfriend might leave you over something like this then maybe he is not the one for you.
2007-03-16 16:39:59 · answer #9 · answered by VMSS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what is meant by playing with fire.Anyway, you said he kissed you, not you kissed him.So im assuming you didnt just go along with it or youd have kept kissing him.Let it go with you to your grave, its not a big deal because you havent kept in touch and pursied a relationship with this guy and vice versa.
2007-03-16 16:39:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋