He keeps asking me to go drinking with him and keeps telling me he wants to come over to my place...I don't want any problems at work or with his wife, but how do I tell him to stop without making him hate me?
2007-03-16 15:35:31 · 24 answers · asked by texascomet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
JUST TELL HIM TO REALLY CUT IT SHORT. REMIND HIM THAT HE IS MARRIED. AND MAKE IS SEEM LIKE IT WOULD ALL BE OK IF HE WASNT MARRIED, BUT SINCE HE IS YOU AND HIM NEED TO RESPECT THAT. AND TELL HIM YOU WILL RESPECT IT, YOU DONT MESS WITH MARRIED MEN. (ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW THEY ARE MARRIED)
2007-03-16 15:39:53 · answer #1 · answered by BE HAPPY! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Need some more information on this one, is this married co-worker your supervisor or boss? Because if he is, is there anyone over his head you can go to for help?
What matters more to you? That he stops hitting on you? Or that you're well liked? You don't like him hitting on you, finding a way to stop him is either going to make him not like you, but it shouldn't matter, if it affects the workplace, you DO have remedies to keep the drama out of the workplace.
He's not going to do you any favors if you make this public, but I would be prepared to make it public if he doesn't stop after telling him no.
2007-03-16 15:43:46 · answer #2 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you want to remain friends but you have always made it a rule not to socialize with married men, men you work with and have no interest in a outside of work relationship, that your off time is your own, and that it makes you feel very uncomfortable when he asks you to go drinking, or that he wants to come over and as a friend, would he please respect your wishes and stop.
If he hates you, then he is just trying to get in your pants anyway.
2007-03-16 16:24:39 · answer #3 · answered by bud88cynthia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not go drinking with him anymore and do not let him ever come over to your place... Do not lead him on and if i were you i would cut all ties wtih him and even switch jobs if need be. Be nice and tell him you do not want to be involved with a married man. If he takes this wrong and gets mad that is his problem... You have to do what is right even if he hates you for it.
2007-03-16 15:52:52 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean he has garaunteed he will hate you if you dont give into his advances and you are afraid of that?I suggest you go have sex with him then OR, get a backbone and tell him no, you are married ,he is married and it is not right and it is not open for discussion.If he continues to push the issue, talk to your supervisor about unwanted sexual harrassment from him and dont worry about if that 2 timer hates you or not, unless of course your wanting the attention to keep comming.
2007-03-16 15:40:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mutually because it is the overt action of him hitting on you it is making issues uncomfortable, if this occurs to you continuously (and additionally you mentioned it does) then what's it approximately your character that screams "I have not have been given any healthful limitations!!!" and motives you to entice scumbags like this? Did your mothers and dads cheat on one yet another? new child of divorce? Abandonment? the guy it is married is a cheater and cheaters have a predictable history yet so do the girls they are fascinated in... they are fascinated in chaotic messes that they might sense would be up for a competent dishonest. the two considered one of you choose help... you are able to desire to tell him which you do no longer relish his strikes and that if he does not supply up, you will have not have been given any selection than to record a complaint with HR/your boss. Then get your self into clinical look after despite it extremely is approximately you that attracts sh*tty men.
2016-10-02 06:22:22 · answer #6 · answered by moffat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about hurting his feelings. He should not even put you in this situation in the first place. Tell him "in case you have not noticed, I am married, and I would appreciate you respecting that."
Why are you worried about hurting his feelings?
That would be sending mixed signals. He should feel bad for disrespecting you. What does he think you are, a whore? I'd be offended. It is not flattering at all to be hit on when you are married.
2007-03-16 16:08:11 · answer #7 · answered by myoctoberblues 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been having this same problem- only I am the married one and the man is my husband's childhood friend who is the manager and a resident in my building. You are going to have to just come straight out and tell him. Be nice, but don't worry about what he thinks.
It is better to be hated for being sweet and innocent than to be taunted for being what he might later refer to you as a whore or slut.
2007-03-16 15:51:49 · answer #8 · answered by nancyshannon53406 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Might not be a subtle, polite way other than, "as much as I enjoy working with you, I respect your wife and myself too much to push our relationship outside the office."
It is a case of sexual harassment but it sounds like you don't want to cause trouble. If you feel uncomfortable about saying anything...just keep saying "no" and never give in.
2007-03-16 15:43:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it in a nice way, that is your first mistake. Get him aside and say something like, "Hey, I AM MARRIED; I have no interest in drinking or anything else with you away from the office. LEAVE ME ALONE or I will report this as harassment to Mr/Mrs/Ms __________ in Personnel " (or the owner's name, whatever).
Then turn and WALK AWAY.
This is an assh*le hitting on a married person and you want to be nicey nicey.....that's DUMB.
2007-03-16 15:43:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him/her u'll tell his/her wife/husband and that u have audio tape to prove that he/she is hitting on u and u cane prove that u are innocent of any allegations he/she makes. Most married ppl will take the hint then. U can't be nice about the situation, but u have to be firm and prove u aren't willing
2007-03-16 15:46:59 · answer #11 · answered by ooneetoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋