if I don't have any physical contact, is it ok to have cybersex? I'm really into bdsm, adn my fiancee' thinks it's just too weird...what do you think?
2007-03-16 15:32:24 · 31 answers · asked by ingrid 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh....he doesn't know i do this...
2007-03-16 15:38:21 · update #1
Form of cheating.
2007-03-16 15:35:38 · answer #1 · answered by Girly-Girl 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
2
2016-07-19 09:55:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First i would wonder what Y/you mean by "into". i know a number of ppl "into" BDSM who have "outside" relationships because their partners do not get it. However i think that if Y/you really live the lifestyle the consensual part of SSF (Safe Sane Consensual) is being broken even with something like online chat sex. Of course if Y/you just do this for some kinky sex then i guess that may not really matter to Y/you.
i believe Y/you know the answer to this and would like someone to validate Y/your behaviour by saying it is ok, when Y/you know it is not. If Y/you just like kinky sex, take the time to slowly introduce things to Y/your fiance and let him see how exciting it can be.
If on the other hand Y/you truly live the BDSM lifestyle as a Domme or a submissive/slave Y/you will find that having a 'nilla partner is going to make Y/you miserable unless Y/you do have outside relationships, which i have no doubt will move from online in to real. Re-think the idea of marrying someone 'nilla if the BDSM is part of who Y/you are as a whole person and not just some fun sex kink.
with all respect
pet
2007-03-17 01:38:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are conversing with another person and telling them things, that if your fiancee was present, you would not say in front of the fiancee, YOU ARE CHEATING. Online chat is a community of chat. Online, you can form emotional bonds and tell people you never have met, things about you, that most in your real life, don't know about you. I would respect your fiancee's feelings on this. If you feel, you are not emotionally or physically or sexually satisfied with your fiancee, then do them a favor, and don't marry them. If you were truly into your fiancee, then you would not need to look for the emotional balance online to fulfill your needs.
2007-03-16 15:44:58 · answer #4 · answered by hbuckmeister 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
After my wife had an affair years ago, I got into cybersex (partly out of anger) and was able to role play many different fantasies in a way that wasn't possible in real life. I have to say that it is cheating of a sort, and can detract from your sex life because you can begin to want the online sex more than the real at times. But, actually, I am glad I had the chance to role play online, because I got to explore things that I couldn't otherwise. Tough call....just think of it as innocent play and when it begins to consume too much of your life, let it go.
2007-03-17 13:18:37 · answer #5 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating
2007-03-16 15:38:15 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm with your fiancee. If my hus had cybersex or went on a porn line, I would consider it cheating. I advise you to see a counselor. Would you want your son to be with someone like you?
It doesn't matter if he knows or not, it is still cheating.
2007-03-16 15:36:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Porn line chatting is definitely cheating. It is cheating, cheating cheating -- Anyone who does not think so has not entertained the idea of their own spouse(significant other) doing it. You should get some help. You should not be marrying someone who you can't share your sex life with. Why would you want tobe married tosomeone and plan to cheat!!?? Think about it. good luck -k-
2007-03-16 15:40:08 · answer #8 · answered by kbama 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Not acceptable! It is definetely a form of cheating. You are still interacting with someone sexually even if you are not physically touching them. With cybersex you are talking dirty to the other person while touching yourself...your fiance should be the ONLY man you talk dirty to. He shouldn't marry you if he doesn't like your nasty habits.
2007-03-16 15:39:09 · answer #9 · answered by Isabella's Mommy Expecting #2 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Cybersex, or having sex chat with someone, that's not your spouse is cheating. Your commiting adultery against your spouse even in your thoughts. Because your sharing sexual feelings with someone other than your spouse.
How is that being faithful to your spouse if your having sex chat with someone other than your spouse? Your thinking of someone else who's not your spouse. In my opinion that's cheating.
And I don't think that it's normal, right or acceptable.
2007-03-16 16:28:13 · answer #10 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first off, he doesn't know you're doing it, that may be construed as cheating. Ask yourself this, if he wanted to talk sexually on the phone and you didn't, but he did it anyway keeping it hidden from you, would you consider it cheating?
I'm not being judgmental, just playing devil's advocate.
2007-03-16 15:52:55 · answer #11 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋