Too Young to fall in Love ?

Question

I've been in a relationship for 2yrs(Jan 2005) already and we know have a 1 yr old. I thought I loved her, she made me get goosebumps on my stomach every time I would get near her. When she got pregnant(may 2005) her mom told her to leave her house. 1 months into her pregnancy, we got in an argument where she told me off and said how she really felt about me, and that I couldn't please her. It broke my heart, to hear that from her. I wanted to leave her then and know, but couldn't. she had no where to go. Today she tells me that she was just playing and stuff. but ever since that day my love for her died. I like her, but I don't love her.Once i found out about her past(5 guys before me) it only made it worst. It made my stomach sick. Pictures going through my head. How she loved them more than me. I really don't know what to do no more, I'm only 20 and im working 2 jobs. I cant go to college because of her jealousy, what should I do? Can I still find the right one? or am i to late?

Answer 1

You are not too late. Just because she is pregnant with your child does not mean you are obligated to her for the rest of your life, although you are obligated to care for the child. It's going to be hard to find a girl who hasn't had previous boyfriends, so that part you may need to work on.

Do what you need to do, you need to go to college if you don't you will resent her for the rest of your life, something that already sounds like it has set in. It is not fair to either of you or even the child to stay in a relationship that you are not happy in. Be responsible when it comes to the child, but this girl has some growing up to do. That is not your responsibility. She needs to grow up and put her life together. Something she may be avoiding because it's easier to use you as a safety net.

Explain your feelings to her, tell her that you can't get past the previous probems, that you will support your child but it's better for both of you to move on. Don't give up on college even if you can even take one or two classes at a junior college or online classes.

You also need to realize she is very codependent and she is using emotions to try and control you, especially the jealousy that is keeping you from a better education. If she really cared and wasn't so selfish she would realize that you going to school is better for her child's future. This relationship is not healthy for either of you.

Answer 2

Your too late. Dude you chose already, remember? Had sex with her, had a child. Now your having regrets. Don't think your all alone, we all have regrets in a relationship. I've been married 19 years and at one time had major regrets! The difference is I matured and instead of creating more regrets, I worked on happiness with the one I chose. I will never regret that decision. You both are immature. That's not a slam, I was at your age too. Words were said to hurt. The arrows hit the target. That just shows you how much she understands you when she can devastate you with a single sentence. It's all just immaturity. Don't expect to be mature just because you said "I do". Those aren't magic words that morph us into wisdom. This marriage is a journey. You've just hit the rocky road (and I don't mean ice cream) a bit early. Learn, fix, learn fix, learn and live. It does get better! Much better. If you divorce, I guarantee you will regret that choice for 18 years! Stop thinking that love is a feeling! It's not. Love is a verb! It indicates action, work! It's something that we do!

Answer 3

First off, get ur butt into college, any woman who is too jealous of anyone getting an education needs education. I am a woman and education and work comes first. Second, if u care for her, u must get over her past relationships, if u can't then no one will be good enough for u in this day and age. From a woman's point of view, we are ******* and will say anything to hurt men when we feel betrayed, humiliated, unloved, etc.,.

Answer 4

Dont be disallusioned by one bad love affair.....we fall in love many times in our lives. You are just starting out and you will fall in love a few more times I bet, before you find the "one". I do want to add though, people say things they dont mean in an arguement.......they want to hurt, and what better way to hurt a guy than to tell him he doesnt satisfy her. She is only young herself and doesnt know much about communicating her anger without having to hurt the other person. She has a lot of problems it seems if her jealousy is preventing you from going to college.....but you can go to college.....she is not your minder and you do have a mind of your own.....she doesnt own you.....you own yourself and you are the master of your own destiny. Both of you are very young to be in such a controlling relationship.

I also think the 5 guys she was with before you should not influence your decision whether you love her or not.....that was her past, it is not now.

You have to decide if you really dont love her, or that your hurt has blinded you to the truth of your real feelings. Put what she said into perspective and realise she said it to hurt you, not that it was true. Put into perspective that the 5 guys were in the past and has nothing to do with your relationship....Once you get those two things into perspective, do you still not love her? If the answer is yes, you dont love her, then you have to make a move now before it gets more complicated. Make the break now and give both of you the chance to find a healthy relationship because it sounds to me like the relationship you are in with this girl is very unhealthy.....the give-away is the fact that she wants to control you........it will get worse, believe me, and you need to sort this out now.

If you decide you do love her, and she really does love you, then maybe its time to get some help with your relationship and get yourselves into counselling. If it goes unchecked then, have no misconceptions about this, it WILL get worse.

Take care. You have one shot at this life, make sure she is not dragging you down to live out a life of obligation and responsibility without love.

Answer 5

You need to get rid of that one. If she is so jealous you that you can't go to college and better yourself for you son than she is not worth your heart ache. If you know inside that she has lied to you and said and will always say hurt ful things to u than u should jsut move on help her take care of your child and make bigger and better decisions for you it will be better for your child also you don't want to raise a child in an unloving home. Plus what if she gets preg again and your relaly trapped I would get out now and fast.

Answer 6

You two rushed into everything too quickly. You should go to college. If she is jealous then that again shows how immature she is. She has a child you have to raise and how are you going to do that without an education? Go to the courts and have child support set up and then go to college. She will probably throw a fit but do it for yourself and your child. You will be better off without her.

Answer 7

Break ties with her. Continue to support your child and abe a part of his/her life, but you don't need to be in a relationship with the mom. She's bad for your mental health.

You'll find someone who's right for you!

Answer 8

I'd say you have so much to offer.......to someone else. If you can't get over these things, they will eat you alive and then it will be 10 years too late and wasted time. Move on buddy, but be there for your kid.

Answer 9

my GOD ur only 20..dont settle down now..unless ur 100% sure..and even then i wouldnt recommend it!!
ur gonna feel different about all things..in 5 ..10 years..
best to let it go now then waste all those years..if u still want and think i love her later..then go for it..
ur way to young to settle babe!!

Answer 10

For one thing, she was pregnant, hormones going wild, and women will say anything and you just have to understand she wasn't herself. get over it, the grass isn't always greener.