My boifriend left me alone 3 days after we found out i was pregnant and i need help to get him back he is like four yrs older than me i know he left me alone cause of the age diffrence but i need help with my daughter i'm due in four months i need his help i don't love him like i should but i love him for giving me my baby i really want him in my son's life. And i know he is wrong for having sex wit a fourteen yr old but he really needs to help me wat should i do?
2007-03-16 15:05:47 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
adoption is your only real solution
then grow up
life isn't about sex and having babies....get an education, get a job and then you may have the privilege of having a family.
Get off welfare.....I work too damn hard to support you and your brood with my taxes. Pay your own way and stop thinking the world and your boyfriend owes you a living.
2007-03-16 15:17:06 · answer #1 · answered by miatalise12560 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Just take a deep breath. And really think about this: Why do you think this guy left you? Really look into his motives. I think you will find he is selfish, immature, and not someone you want around you or your baby. It is sad that you got pregnant so young, but it sounds like you are an intelligent, mature young girl. If you're afraid to raise the baby alone, maybe consider adoption. There are many people out there, like myself, who would love the chance to adopt. There are even open adoptions, where you can be a part of the family and your child's life, but still be able to go on with yours. Your life is so young yet! I wish you the best, and if you need to talk, email me!
teagansmummy@yahoo.com
2007-03-16 23:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by teagansmummy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is huge....first of all, forget him!....He will most probaby be back before you have the baby...if not then honey really move on...he wont be any good for you or that little one that you are about to have....and right now, that is the most important person in your life...not him!! Honeu, I know that this might be hard to understand right nowl...and Im not saying this because you are only 14, it wouldnt matter if you were 34, but NOTHING in your life will ever be the same...nothing...and it doesnt sound like your boyfriend is ready for that kind of commitment...now I know that it is not fair that he gets to choose if he is ready or not, and you dont. but unfortunetly that is just the way that it is....And really if he doesnt what anything to do with you or your baby, then that is not the kind of person that you want around the baby...
Remember that he is probably just as scared as you are about being a new parent....it is a wonderful experience that I would not trade for anything....but it is the most terrifing thing that I have ever done....He is probably worried about providing for you and the baby, Give him a couple of days, and his attitude will most likely change, and if not then remember that you and your baby are better than that....
For right just focus on having a healthy happy baby, and there are a lot of resources to help single mothers if that is what you are most worried about....
2007-03-16 22:24:11 · answer #3 · answered by jess_pickel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father was 13 years older than I mother, and I first met him when I was 20. I hold no regrets, and he's an awesome guy. I grew up most of my life thinking my step-dad was my real dad, and I could not imagine growing up any different.
My advice is to NOT try to get him back, but rather to keep a disconnected relationship with him with as little headache as possible. If you don't love him, and he is not ready to be a father, than you should not push him into it, as it will not necessarily make your life or your baby's life any better.
Since you are so young, rely on your family to support you. They will inevitably be a HUGE part of your life since you will not be living on your own or with this guy for several more years. Family members LOVE having a grandchild--it's just a law of nature, they love it--and you will not regret taking what they have to offer.
Another reason NOT to maintain a closer relationship with this guy is to avoid dispute. Most couples who are independent and already well-established have seemingly unavoidable issues with each other during the first year or so of raising a child. Raising a child can be very stressful, and stress can easily turn violent in some people--especially those who have no intention to deal with that stress up front.
2007-03-16 23:39:20 · answer #4 · answered by Jon Kelling 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all make up your mind how old you are. You have asked several other questions where you are 14,15,or 16...I think that maybe you are being dishonest or confused. You have also stated different ages of your so called boyfriend. Anyhow, if your boyfriend is an adult and you are a child and pregnant then he commit ed a crime by having sex with a minor. Go to the court and demand that he pay child support for this child and make sure that you put him on the birth certificate. When he gets out of jail he can help you support the child. Don't have anymore sex, especially without using birth control.
2007-03-16 23:07:59 · answer #5 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Son and a daughter or did I read that wrong? I don't understand if you are 14 or 16 and if you are due in 4 months or had a baby last month. The different posts are confusing. Good luck...I hope you take your responsibility seriously because you have a long road ahead of you and you're not a child anymore.
2007-03-16 22:20:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay first off if he dont want to be there then so be it.... DONT LISTEN to the people that are saying you cant take care of a child. I got pregnant and had a child when I just turned fifteen and i still have my child yeah life was ruff but you learn to deal with it and if you believe you can take care of the child than do it. I mean you have to be mature and be able to take care of yourself and the baby!! Its not always going to be easy but do what you feel in your heart, do what your heart tells you not what everyone else tells you!! As far as the guy, hes not worth keeping unless he is ready to stand up and be mature (trust me I was there) my babys daddy still aint mature but oh well my child still has me! If you decide you are going to keep the baby take care of yourself and the baby and stay healthy, find a part time job and still go to school it may seem like alot at first but you can do it! Just dont ever doubt yourself and do what you think is right! Good luck with everything!
2007-03-17 00:24:37 · answer #7 · answered by justlistentome 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whoa first of all if he's 4 years older than u is he 18? because if he is 18 that could be classified as rape because he had sex with a minor. i know there are regulations on things such as this. he is being so stupid for not being there for you. after you have your baby he should pay for childcare monthly. good luck i wish you the best! hope everything turns out ok
edit: no offense but why do you keep on posting these same questions about yourself being 14 then 15 then 16 then 13 and posting on other accounts too? this is a little fishy
2007-03-16 22:10:06 · answer #8 · answered by cocomademoiselle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
k so he's 18? and you're 14???? sounds like he could be facing jail time.... not smart of him, and doesn't make him look good at all. so are you having a daughter or son? you said both in the question... so just fishy. but you need to give the baby up for adoption in my opnion. no way can a 14 year old raise a child (its hard enough for me at 21!!!). and that baby deserves the best and everything in the world, and sorry hun you but aren't able to do that at 14 years old. you aren't old enough to have a job, drive, anything. so why do that to an innocent child because of your mistake??? may sound harsh but its true... and if you want to still be involved do an open adoption, where you will still be able to be involved. and see the child, just not have to worry about raising the child and can do what you should be doing at 14, and worrying about. not raising a baby.... and be able to go to college, finish high school, ect.... check out this website: http://www.adoptionhelp.org/birthmother.html
btw which one is it? all your questions are different, need to make up your f'in mind.... hate people like this
2007-03-16 22:15:43 · answer #9 · answered by ricleigh 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
4 years older than you?!?! Do your parents know? Technically they could have him arrested for statutory rape!!
That aside - Legally, if he is responsible for half the genes of the baby he is responsible for half the money it takes to raise the baby. Talk to planned parenthood or social services for ways to make him pay up.
You may WANT him in your son's life, but if HE doesn't "want" the whole American dream wife and kids thing, you are not gonna make him want to be a part of his son's life. The best you can do for yourself and your baby is to make him at least be financially responsible, and even at that, there are plenty of deadbeat dads in the world.
I am sorry you have to go thru this, and I hope you have a good network and support group around you of family and friends. . Good luck because you're gonna need it.
2007-03-16 22:13:11 · answer #10 · answered by Angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should NOT listen to these jerks telling you to give up your baby!!! My sister had her daughter when she was 15 and never received any help at all from the father. It sucks, but you need to be strong for your baby. Taking a child from it's mother(no matter how young the mother) is never a good idea if it's not necessary. Forget about the father, he's gone. Worry about the baby.
2007-03-16 22:19:48 · answer #11 · answered by jake_in_iowa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋