i want to leaave my husband any advice?

Question

i dont love him anymore and havent for a while i feel guilty though. we have had turbulent 2 yr marriage and i just havent the nergy any more, he is nasty, arrogant, ignore me unless he wants food or sex and lately i have been givin him neither. hes been away workin for the last month and i have only seen him for about fivr days each of which he spent complaing aboiut payin the rent i pay everything else and never moan, he drinks a lot too and i dont want to be with him but am so afraid of the whole seperating thing. i want to take the kids away for a week and let him get his stuff together but i dont want to see him. leavin a note seems harsh i know but he has been so cruel to me and my kids, mentally, i have been on anti deppressents, had to pay someone else to look after oour son to go to college when he was out of work and lying in bed. i am sick of being the causse of everything bad in his life and i just dont want to face him. he said if i left him he would not want our son

Answer 1

Sounds like a solved deal to me...

Do you have any reasons to stay other that his threat and your fear???

Give him the same respect he'd give you...

Take care of yourself and your kids first and make sure you and they have everything needed, to include the emotional stability... He can deal with his drinking habits and his selfishness on his own... Maybe then he will learn to value you your kids and everyone he cares about, and how to show it.

Answer 2

Well girl, sounds like u have urself a real winner on your hands. Good grief, what an ***.
Ok, who cares about leaving a note. He doesnt deserve anything more than just that.
Leave and be gone and dont leave him anything. He will get the drift.
U and your son deserve a man who will be supportive and kind, not mean, abusive and an alcoholic.
Been there and done that.
As far as him not wanting your son if you left, why would u want him to? Make him pay child support and move on with your life.
Good luck hun in finding someone and something that will make u happy.
Dont blame urself and dont look back.

Answer 3

Have you tryed talking to your husband about this?.....and if you have it will only work for a while, he'll be nice and romance you for a night and then back to knocking it off for himself! Have you tryed counceling? That can also help for a short time. However I honestly think that some men are incabable of thinking of anything other than SEX or FOOD lucky you have one that works!!
So let me say that I have been married for 14 yrs.... long hard, to this day it is a challange. Sometimes left to wonder why do we do this to ourselfs??????
I have hard times in my relationship but let me say this.......
STOP PUTTING UP WITH ALL THE BULLSHIP!! What inconsideration he show you comes back, why should you be left to do everything when you work too??? Why do they feel that we can work come home, cook, clean, help with homework, do laundry, do the shopping, and actully the one that sends out all the bills, to parent teacher meatings, not to mention if you have to finish some work left from you day at work, and still want use to be their personal depository.....NOT!!!! This SHIP has to stop. What you put up with now, will I GUARENTEE will get 3x worse...
Send the kids to their friends house or grandma's for the weekend, when he gets home. Let him know what is going on, YOUR FED UP!!
If you honestly think he is going to want to take custody of your son, you should file a pattion to the courts for custody and visitations of your child.
Always rember that you chose this man, he is the father to your son and will always be. Your son did not chose his father!! Let your son respect him and have a father in his life, that is something no one should take away.

Good luck with everything...

Answer 4

Honey...get out now!! Get a dissolution. A close family member is going through this and she has filed for a dissolution and she was also on anti depressants and now since she has been gone she has not taken them in a month and feels so much better. You don't have to live this way and not with children involved! You are better then him eventually you will find another man and fall in love and I hope for you he treats you like a queen like you should be treated!
Good Luck!

Answer 5

You and him need some space away from each
other for awhile. Tell him that and explain why,
seperate and take your child with you and during
the seperation you see he is still the same then
you need to decide weather to take it a next step
further. Don't make any hesitant decision, during
seperation you and him can think about what you
future togeather will be, and if you and him are
still in the same situation then that should tell you
something. Good luck.

Answer 6

This sounds like it is pretty intolerable.
Plan your departure carefully. You don't have to inform him of your plans, if you're worried for your safety or that of your children. If you want to stay where you are, be prepared for a fight (in terms of divorce and a court settlement). At the very least you should be putting aside every penny you can in the event of an emergency. Make sure your credit is in good standing, in case you need to rely for a while on credit cards to escape. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

since you apparently have a place to go then go. right now. this very minute. pick up whatever you can and leave. the future alone might seem scary but it has to be better than living in misery. leave a note, text a message or don't tell him at all. once he comes home he will figure it out. best of luck

Answer 8

the best thing,is making your kids life the best!
staying with someone thats cruel to you or your children is NEVER an option.
I did that for 8 years....then finally took my child to the grandparents and let it fly,went to our home and told him it was over and dealt with the fall out when my child was NOT there.
an unhappy mother never is the best mother she can be...
dont wait 4-6 or 8 years,the sooner you go,the easier it will be on you all.
YES it is hard and it DOES suck.but the outcome is well worth it.
be strong and go while you can,before the cruelty you speak of ,if not allready,turns to physical violence....
good luck

Answer 9

Sounds to me as you could do better, why dont you take and leave while he is away at work, and he can come home to an empty house? Then he can figure out how to get him something to eat and get acquainted with his hands for his sexual pleasure. I tip my hat to you though cause I would not have been able to put up with him that long if he were mine, cause I would have told him to shape up or ship out!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

You should really leave him. If he is being cruel to you and your kids, you should get out asap. You and your kids don't need this abuse. Don't let him get you down. Be strong. You'll find someone that appreciates you. Good luck:) Its time for a new start.