I'm 14 and im going to br having a baby in july and im not ready i was having sex when i was 13! with 3 guys!

Question

I have had sex with 3 different guys in 2 years!! is that a bad thing? im 14 and due in july and ever since i had sex with the babys dad iv also had it with 2 different guys. my life is so messed up!

Answer 1

OK, first of all, what we were you doing having sex at such a young age!?! You shouldn't have had sex in the first place, but since you did and it's obviously too late for the sex talk, I will give you the best advice I can think of. Ok, I suggest you give your baby up for adoption because you are too young to carry that kind of responsibility. I know that giving up your own flesh and blood, a living being that came from you, may seem like a hard task, but unless you have a wealthy and understanding family, that's your only choice. You can always ask for an open adoption so you can still see the baby, but you won't be his or her legal guardian. Once your baby is born you need to promise yourself not to have anymore sex until you are ready for the consequences and the responsibility of it. Sex can lead to more than being pregnant. You could get some kind of STD or get hurt in some way. You're life may seem messed up right now, but you have to stick it through and make the best of it. You're not just taking care of you now, you have a baby inside you that you need to look after and think of what's best for him or her. I don't really have anymore advice for you, but to be careful and try to be abstinent. If you're still going to have sex at least use a condom (there are some for girls) or get on the pill. Ask questions on anything you're not sure about.

Good Luck! I really hope that things get better for you and you can decide what to do with your baby. Remember to be abstinent, okay? It'll make life a lot easier because having sex also means another responsibility you have.

Answer 2

Sweetie, listen.. while it does sound like you have made a few mistakes (sleeping with multiple people.. especially at such a young age), that doesn't mean that you're life is ruined or anything like that.

You are going to be having a baby this July, and believe me.. your life is going to change in a very big way. But you need to remember, that even though you are young, and having a baby is a huge responsibility.. this child can be the best thing that has ever happened to you, if you choose to see the light in the situation.

True, you are going to need a lot of help and guidance with everything, and I am hoping and praying that you have a loving support system at home, with your own Mother (or whomever you live with). Support if very important in a time like this. You will need someone to go to, to talk to about things. You can do this, it will take a lot of courage, and determination.. but believe me, if your heart and mind is in the right place, you can absolutely do this.

Having a child at such a young age, while not being the "ideal" way for things to go, well.. it's how things are in your life now. You are the one who has to decide how things are going to happen from here on out. You can either let this turn your life upside down, or you can embrace it.. and work your very hardest at being a good Mother, a good daughter.. and a good student. You have not lost anything, and you still have every opportunity that you had before. The difference now, is that every decision you make from this point.. not only affects you, but the life of your child.

Don't let things get your down, or seeing your life as "messed up". Like I said, you may have made some mistakes (we all have) but believe me, the child you are going to bring into this world, is definately no mistake. From the first moment you hold your baby, everything is going to change.. It's up you to decide if it's for the better, or for the worse. You can do this, just have faith!

If you ever need someone to talk to, for support or anything.. feel free to e-mail me or IM me sometime.

I'll be keeping you in my prayers. You take care of yourself, and your baby. :)

Answer 3

I feel very badly for you. You are going through a very bad time. Are you planning on keeping the baby or giving it up for adoption? I am 40 and have a stable home and was pregnant 4 times and miscarried. People my age are ready for this. When I was your age I didnt even have my first kiss yet. I would like to talk to you more about how you feel. Do you have family that is supportive? Where is the Dad? I would be someone who would love to adopt a baby. You are not a whore or anything like that, you made some mistakes. That doesnt make you bad sweetie. What are you planning to do? Please send a revision or something, because, I would love to be able to help you if I could.

Answer 4

Yes, your life is definately messed up and its only going to be worse when the baby gets here.
U need to stop this behavior you have been engaging in. You now have to deal with reality and the consequences of your decisions.
You will soon be a mommy and need to make the wrong things in your life right. Finish school and get a good education to support your child.
Start with small steps and once u accomplish one task, then move on to another goal.
I hope u have plenty of family support.
Your life is not over, u just need to make the correct decisions from here on out.
Ur a baby having a baby. But not the only one who has ever done it.
I would suggest talking to someone in similar situations and see what u r in for. Just make the most out of the rest of your life and be a positive influence on your baby.
Good luck to u hun.

Answer 5

13 is no age to even be dating, let alone having sex. But since it is already past you now, you should not be dwelling on the past. Rather you should be focusing on the future and your baby. You need to be considering what you will do about going to school, money, if family is going to babysit for you, or maybe even adoption. The best thing that has come from this situation is the baby growing inside of you. Do not ruin his life with your problems. You've already made a good choice of not having an abortion. Due to the consequences of your poor actions, now you will have to face what is ahead of you. Find support from loved ones and your doctor. They will guide you in the right direction.

Answer 6

You need to stop looking for love in this way.

You are lucky you just got pregnant. Stop having sex until you are ready. There are worse things than pregnancy, like HIV, which you can pass on to your child. About 1 in 5 people over 14 who are sexually active have some kind of STD. How else would drug companies be able to afford to advertise herpes medication during primetime tv? When you have sex with someone, you are also having sex with everyone they had sex with.

If you plan on keeping the baby, work on finding some inner peace. You will be no good to your child if you are miserable.

There is no shame in adoption. But it will be very difficult for you to cope with. It will be difficult either way. I think you are very brave for continuing your pregnancy, a lot of girls would have had an abortion.

Answer 7

I got pregnant at 14. Do you know who the father is? If not make sure to do the whole paternity test thing if you plan on keeping it and try to get them on child support. It's not guaranteed that you'll get a check. Finish school. Your life will be even more messed up without and education and a baby to feed. Plan on getting a job, look for child care, and I'm guessing that you'll have to apply for medicaid, food stamps, stock up on diapers, formula, bottles, baby clothes, and oh yeah teen life as you know it is over. Good luck trying to find a good guy that wants to raise another man's child. Life will be very, very, very hard. Or go the easy route and put that baby up for adoption. I'm speaking from experience. I kept my son and he's now gonna be 13 it was very, very, very hard and still is.

Answer 8

I really dont know what you was thinking when u went 2 bed with some guys. U should b in school studying to make something out of your life but you r gonna have hell to pay for that mistake. Girl your young life is over. No more going out and other stuff u used to do. Take care of urself and that baby, and make sure ur daughter or son dont make the same mistake u did.

Answer 9

I want you other people who are posting to this girl's question to read her question again. She is a CHILD!!! I am disgusted that people like to kick one another when they are down! I have my doubt she thinks she is worth much! Heck, we don't even know if she was a victim of a crime! You people creep me out! I sure hope life lends you much more mercy than you have afforded this young child.

Baby, you need to get yourself into a place where you can connect with some older ladies. Some ladies who are mother's and wives. Someone that will take you under their wing and mentor you. You need a surrogate mother. You are still a baby yourself, and I doubt you were even capable of making an informed decision about the choices you have made. Please contact a pregnancy resource center in your area and ask to speak to a counselor.

You don't have to live like this. You have a bright future, and all you need to do is reach out your hand.

Answer 10

The decision about the baby is a hard one and there are pros and cons to any decision you make so really seek help to make an informed decision that you can live with. Many communities have programs for girls in your situation. Someone should be able to find girls who have kept their babies and girls who have given up their babies for adoption to tell you about their experiences. Your school councelor should be able to help you find different programs. You are young and you have made mistakes but you can learn from them and move on and have a successful life. Get yourself some help, get serious about school and leave the boys alone for now. Focus on taking care of you and your pregnancy. Whatever decision you make be sure that you are prepared for it and what it will mean to you. good luck and be careful and take good care of yourself and your baby on the way.