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I always go to astrology websites that are not accurate.I need some accurate website that describes zodiac signs!!! PLS> REPLY! THANKS!!!

2007-03-16 13:59:08 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Horoscopes

7 answers

If reading the future in the stars really worked, modern astrologers would still be wrong. That's because they are using star charts that are thousands of years old. The stars are no longer in the same places they were then. Astrologers, like any other "psychic," use generalities to convey their message. Try this exercise: At the end of your day, look at the newspaper horoscope. You will most likely be able to fill in details so that most, if not all, of the predictions for EVERY sign can be considered to be true.

2007-03-16 14:11:57 · answer #1 · answered by Uther Aurelianus 6 · 0 0

The best 'scopes are from The Onion! Here are some!

Leo July 23 - August 22
Your dreams will be crushed tonight by the repeated strikes of a titanium crowbar against your skull.

Virgo August 23 - September 22
Much to your dismay, you'll find your one true soulmate this week in an ordinary, perfectly inanimate desk lamp.

Libra September 23 - October 23
Your pregnancy will be marked by a number of bizarre cravings, including pickles dipped in ice cream, lemons coated with salt, and a father figure to help raise your son.

Scorpio October 24 - November 21
Just when you think you'll never find the strength to go on, the virgin blood of a fragile waif will fuel you for another 200 years.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
Sagittarius is hurt by allegations that it's been slipping product placements into weekly predictions—so hurt in fact that it may soon seek out the pain-relieving properties of Extra Strength Tylenol™.

2007-03-16 15:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by Chaine de lumière 7 · 0 0

http://www.astro.com

it has a lot of free things and is very helpful, especially when people are very new to astrology. there is much more than just sun sign horoscopes - those don't say much about someone at all! I recommend taking a look around this site to get a better understanding.

on the site there is the astroclick portrait, which will give you a fairly detailed reading for free.

2007-03-17 05:15:01 · answer #3 · answered by roe 1 · 0 0

There are no such thing as "accurate" astrology websites. Astrology, though fun and entertaining, is not real. That is why none of the sites are accurate. Sorry!

2007-03-16 14:07:04 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0 0

The astrology is most likely the much better acknowledged and far more well-known strategy that individuals use to guide their lifestyle decisions, but according to Numerologist from right here https://tr.im/QsZmR , numerology is simple to find out and less complex to realize.
Numerologist is website that can help individuals find out about the research of numerology, which can give men and women the information, and skills they need to have to make life selections so be the owner of your lifestyle with Numerologist.

2016-04-13 13:45:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Visit www.astroscoped.com or www.futurescopes.com .they list many astrological websites and you can pick and choose what u like.compare them and choose the one u like.

2007-03-16 17:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by zune 2 · 0 0

AN IRREVERENT LOOK AT THE SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC

or

TERRIBLE thoughts about your Sign



The signs of the Zodiac begin with Aries and end with Pisces. That is, they start out uptight and end up loose as a goose, they go from unbearably pushy and selfish to absurdly agreeable and generous, and range from fearless sheep to sheepish fish.

Aries is a sheep, I mean a Ram. Sheepishness is not in Aries' nature (see Pisces). Butting-headedness is. Sheep say Baahhh. Rams say Baaahhkkk OFF - and you'd better... those horns inflict pain! Every Aries is pushy and knows everything, and they always cut in line....stomp, stomp, trample, trample, get ahead, come in first - yep, just get out of the way, okay? Aries is ruled by Mars, god of "I Win, you Lose".

Taurus is a cow, I mean a Bull. Cows give milk, bulls don't give you anything but flaming nostrils and charging-headlong-into-you horns. They take whatever they want, whenever they want it - your food, your favorite chair, your time, your energy, your money, your stuff - it's all theirs. They just graze through life, eating everything in their paths. Selfish good for nothings! Taurus is ruled by Venus - goddess of stuff and money.

Gemini is a pair of twins, a schizophrenic whacko. Can't stick to one position for a minute, and they lie. Fickle, flighty and totally nuts. Don't go out with a Gemini unless you want to go insane. He loves me, he loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not. You'll never know the real answer. Gemini is ruled by Mercury - god of mind-tripping.

Cancer is a crab. That's all there is to it. *****, moan, complain, rag, perpetual PMS - man or woman. Once in a while, when the moon is just right, Cancer becomes a raving lunatic. That's the only relief you'll get from their insufferable whining. Nothing is good enough, nobody helps enough, you're not eating enough, blah blah blah. There's just no way to please them. The only solution is to put 'em in a pot and boil em. Cancer is ruled by spooky sister Moon and the wild, merciless tides.

Leo is a beast. Leos strut around like mister and misses perfects - just like your cat. I mean look at your cat - what is it good for? "Feed me, Look at my hair, look at my hair, Don't I look perfect? Pet me, adore me, play with me - now go away" - hiss, scratch. They don't do tricks, they won't do what you say, and they shed. That's about it. Leo is ruled by the Sun - Mr. Shiny himself.

Virgo is a virgin. Virgin's are no fun. They're squeaky clean, too pure, and very picky. Nobody and nothing is good enough for a Virgo. They stare at you with those penetrating eyes, making mental notes of all your weaknesses and imperfections. Then they pretend to be your friend and help you, snickering and laughing at you all the while. Don't trust them for a minute! Virgo is ruled by Mercury - god of hyper-analysis.

Libra is a pair of scales - way out of balance. They keep trying to get it right, but they never do. They add a little more to this side, a little more to that, until they're so loaded up with stuff that they need to hold a yard sale. But of course they won't, and they always want more. More love, more jewelry, more fun, more money, more beauty, more friends, blah blah blah.. Libra is ruled by Venus - goddess of tons of stuff and goodies.

Scorpio is a nasty, stinging scorpion, a venomous vermin, a sneaky, menacing creature of the dark. NEVER trust a Scorpio. Scorpios don't trust you, and they'll kill you in a heartbeat. If you treat them just right, they might make good pets - properly caged of course. Scorpio crawls about unseen, digging into your private thoughts and dreams and stealing them like a thief in the night. It's scary. Scorpio is ruled by Pluto - god of the atomic bomb.

Sagittarius is a cloddy, tromping, whinnying horse. Stay out of their way...most Sagittarians are the kind of horse with blinders on so they can't see on either side and don't know what they've run into. And they always say exactly the wrong thing, like, "hey - you look so much older and fatter than last time I saw you", or "what's that thing on your face?" It's not honesty, it's just plain cruel. Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, the original Mr. Know-it-all.

Capricorn is a goat. A nasty, billy goat. The kind that looks old and lecherous. They make their way up the mountain, sure, by any underhanded trick they can conjure! And they have curling horns, just like the devil! Capricorns will use you and abuse you to get what they want. They don't care if they have to eat garbage, or if it takes an eternity to get there. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn - father time, the one with the scythe.

Aquarius is a wild, space-cadet water-boy (or girl). Aquarians are completely irresponsible. They have one rule - if it feels good, do it. Aquarians make intricate, ingenious plans, then break them without a second thought. They tell you one thing, then let some wild-haired idea take them off to timbuktu. Don't even try hanging onto an Aquarian, they're wet, slippery, insane people. Aquarius is ruled by Uranus - god of lightning, electricity and bikers.

Pisces is a fish. Well actually, two fishes swimming in opposite directions - always lost. Pisces live in fear because they know that dangerous fish-eaters lurk everywhere.... Just look at how they dart around, confused and disoriented, Pisces can't stay on track for two seconds, and if you throw out some tasty bait - bang, the Pisces is there in a second, ready to snag your hook. Easy pickins those Pisces (kinda like sheep). Pisces is ruled by Neptune - god of peace, love and spaciness.

2007-03-19 07:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by ♥gigi♥ 7 · 0 1

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