my step daughter (age 14) lives out of state as of recently and has only had one visit with us so far. this spring break will be the second and she wants to bring a friend along. I understand friends are important at that age and all by my ques is, would that really be appropriate seeing as we want to spend time with her and not have to entertain a friend that we have never met? Also, if we did agree who should pay the plane fare?
2007-03-16 13:51:13 · 10 answers · asked by Florida Mom 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I might add that she has 2 siblings here also that want to spend time with her and that she gets along very well with. It isn't like she is bored here or uncomfortable, she has had visits with us her whole life, just new to the out of state, seldom visits.
2007-03-16 15:10:22 · update #1
I would let her as long as her friend's parents pay for the plane fare. I'm 15 and I understand her situation. But I think also, that she shouldn't bring her friend. I wouldn't want to personally, afterall you have a point... that is your guys' time to spend together. Talk about it with her and just see if she changes her mind and undstands your point of view. I'm sure she'll understand.
2007-03-16 16:54:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As much as you'd love to spend time with her, girls want company. My 3 are now over 14, one by 10 years. Also dealing with different households.
Children of this age need the entertainment of another person their age. No matter how great you are and how much you love her and spoil her, somehow, you'll get on her nerves and with a friend, it will be more fun for her. She'll remember the trip with more enjoyment as well. It will be like going on a vacation rather than going "to Dad's".
On the plane fare...that's a huge one. If you split your daughter's with the mother, offer to split the friends with the mother and friend's family. Of course, its not unrealistic to have the friend pay, if they can. You'll earn a million points if you pay and have the friend come (I'm assuming the friend is a girl).
An alternative, is to have your step-daughter come by herself and her friend join you on Wednesday. They they fly back together. Gives your step-daughter something great to look forward to and gives you time alone with her.
You can make it a win-win with the right thought process.
2007-03-16 22:06:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say let her friend come along if the friends family is willing to pay for the plane ticket. I know you hardly get to see your step daughter, but you have to see it from her point of view. No teenager wants to spend their whole spring break alone with her parents.
2007-03-16 21:04:19 · answer #3 · answered by jaysgurl28 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Err...if you're asking me, I would say no. I would say no because of the plane cost...as you know (at least I am assuming so) place tickets are very costly. If this trip was for your step daughter, then it should be just her going to visit you.....especially since you don't really know her friend. You don't know what he friend is like at all and so how can you trust that person?? Anyways, it's up to you.
2007-03-16 21:01:00 · answer #4 · answered by *~*RaChAel*~* 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would just be honest with your daughter and let her know that you would like to spend the week with just her, since you don't see her often. She might be upset, but if you have some fun things planned for her to do with you it will be much easier for her to deal with, and allow her to pick some of the activities too maybe from a few choices that you have come up with (that way not too expensive,etc.)
2007-03-16 20:57:30 · answer #5 · answered by tinkerbell 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that given your limited time with her it would be appropriate that she come alone.
If you did let her bring a friend, the friend's parents should pay for the plane ticket and send spending money for any activities you take them to.
2007-03-16 20:55:03 · answer #6 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i would ask her why she would like to bring a friend along...then explain to her that you and her sibs would like to spend time with her and not to entertain someone else...
if she has a valid answer and you are comfortable with it, then the other parents should foot all of the bills...
is her friend a boy or a girl? that could make a world of difference...
2007-03-18 00:46:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should find out abt this friend but if the frined seems ok then let her bring them becuase she'll spend the whole break mad at you
2007-03-16 22:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your time to be together with her, and just explain that you barely see her and you rather spend as much time with her as you can.
She should understand.
2007-03-17 00:12:08 · answer #9 · answered by bpbjess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
her parents should pay, the friends, but maybe it would help the daughter to feel more comfortable i think i would allow it
2007-03-16 21:07:17 · answer #10 · answered by melissa s 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋