Immature people, grow up,
Throwing paper balls,
you would be better of suckin your own balls
I feel this rage inside me,
when people act this way
Just grow up, get a life,
stop messing with mine!
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I wrote this today because I was mad,
people were acting immature. and throwing paper balls at me! So I wrote this! ENJOY
rate:1-10
2007-03-16 13:38:30 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
It sounds to me like you found a positive way of venting your anger. I don't think it's a good idea to end two consecutive lines with the same word unless you do it repeatedly throughout the poem. It has a good rythem and flow to it. The only problem is repeating the word balls.
2007-03-16 14:30:50 · answer #1 · answered by Coyote81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2007-03-16 20:59:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have rage in you. Maybe people were throwing paper balls at you to try and get you to lighten up. No, I didnt enjoy. I give it a 1 too. I'd throw paper balls at you. Actually I have 3 inches of snow outside, I'd throw snowballs. You need to smile a bit hon. The Emo thing isnt working for you. You have a whole lot of life left to waste it on rage over nothing. C.
2007-03-16 20:49:35 · answer #3 · answered by Persiphone_Hellecat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go you! The best poetry is written when strong emotion propel it.
I'd give it a 7. I do like it, but i think it just needs someway to make it gel together a bit more. Whether that's rhyme, or the amount of syllables in each line. If you were going for that look, of not having a certain order, then i apologize and tell you to ignore me. :). Either way, carry on writing. AND tell them immature idiots to bugger off!!!
2007-03-16 20:47:17 · answer #4 · answered by Lifeless Energy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The big question is how did writing this make you feel? If you felt good writing it then it is a 10. Writing is one of the best ways to see how you feel and think and to get it out. I give it a 4 because you could problaby do better but keep writing and expressing.
2007-03-16 20:51:38 · answer #5 · answered by jesse b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 being the worst and 10 being the best: 2.5
You asked. You don't have to take it to heart. <__<
2007-03-16 20:44:47 · answer #6 · answered by mokurentate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense but its creepy. I give it a 1.
2007-03-16 20:41:22 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it didn't seem like a poem, no offense. i'm sure it has meaning to you but i didn't really enjoy reading it. it didn't seem like a poem, but i'm sure that it helped you with your feelings.
2007-03-16 22:13:20 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋