A few nights ago I was talking to my daughter on the phone. There was a loud noise from the back of our house, so my husband and I looked out the back windows to see if we could see anything. We didn't see anything, so we kept teasing back and forth about who should go outside to investigate. Eventually he went back to watch TV and I continued talking to our daughter. Then out of he blue he says, "Why would you want to send a gay man outside to check on that?" I wasn't sure I heard him correctly, so I went into the living room and asked him what he said. He repeated the same thing and me and my daughter at the same time said, "Oh my God! What are you saying?" He said he was kidding, but he did not smile or laugh or make it seem like it was a joke at all. I was really upset about it and was scared to confront him about it, so I let it go for a few days. I finally asked him about it, but he never answered me directly. Now I wonder about other things over the years. Is he gay?
2007-03-16 13:05:59 · 20 answers · asked by Sissy26 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One other incident that bothers me happened years ago. He went on a week-long business trip and met some guy in the hotel bar who supposedly had a lot in common with him (married, etc. They went out to eat and on the way to the restaurant, the other guy says, "We have so much in common, we'll be butt-f***ing by the end of the night!" My husband told this story to many people after he got home and all our male friends commented that they would have kicked the guy out of the car. I had a funny feeling that something happened, but he again answered my questions with questions (sin of omission?). He almost insinuated that there was some other woman, but also refused to answer questions about that. About 6 months later I had a dream that he had slept with a man. Also, our sex life is horrible! In my heart I think I know the answer to my question, but how do you get someone to admit something like this? He keeps making me feel like I'm crazy and blowing things out of proportion.
2007-03-16 15:50:04 · update #1
I would assume that he is either gay or flirting with the possibility of him being gay. Most men would not joke about such a thing. It is possible that he blurted out the comment and the reality of it has upset him. Try to watch his interactions with you. Does he seem to enjoy sex with you? Does he look for ways to create arguments so your contact with each other is decreased?? If he seems like having sex is a drag and is picking fights on a regular basis. Discuss this with him. Evaluate the way he answers your questions.
I believe he will admit it sooner or later.
2007-03-16 13:14:04 · answer #1 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, I think you are right in thinking your husband is gay. If he were not he would quickly deny it and a straight guy would never call himself gay, even if he were joking. It's long past the time for your husband to be completely honest with you regarding this very important issue.
2007-03-16 13:14:34 · answer #2 · answered by Bethany 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah he is gay, he is just trying to figure out a way of telling you so he is taking baby steps by bringing up the subject and over time he will tell you he is gay after you find out he was having an affair with some dude at work.
2007-03-16 15:41:10 · answer #3 · answered by bubba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he just meant he was chicken **** . I get the joke . If a guy doesn't wont to do something that the other guys are doing we always say " Whats the problem you gay ." Just another way for a guy to call another guy chicken **** You know acting like a woman. Get it!!!
2007-03-16 13:28:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, not sure because that is only once incident. U have lived with him for all these years and if there are signs, then perhaps the two of you need to discuss it.
I feel for ya. What a mess.
GOod luck.
2007-03-16 13:09:39 · answer #5 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very possible, a friend of mine has been married twice and has 3 kids......he just came out. My first husband was also gay....we had 2 kids.
2007-03-16 17:45:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to believe probably, because he didn't say that right away like playing around. I just don't see a straight man ever saying that in a situation where there isn't humor.
2007-03-16 13:17:46 · answer #7 · answered by Vegas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave a PlayGirl lay out in the open like on a coffee table, put one of your strands of hair on a certain page, if it is moved and the hair fell out, there is your answer and you will know he is gay. At that point, take him to a shrink for help!
2007-03-16 13:13:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry to say but to according to your story it sound's like your husband and that man had something going on while they were gone you might be right he sounds gay
2007-03-20 10:00:25 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he had said he was gay, then he must be gay. Why else would he say it, if he was not. He probably just realized it himself.
2007-03-16 13:14:06 · answer #10 · answered by mary 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋