He had left his password up on the computer one day for work and I found it and clicked it on.(wrong, maybe) but I found soooo many emails to this other coworker asking her to meet him places after work(which he says they never did. And he told yet another co-worker that he had an affair with the other one.(which he says he didn't) So now I can't trust him and I have asked that I be able to read his email(which he let's me do) He wants to know if I am wrong for reading his emails?
2007-03-16 12:46:21 · 39 answers · asked by Lisa C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
not rong.
2007-03-16 12:49:10 · answer #1 · answered by coffee37man 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm gonna agree with the guy who said your husband has already opened another email account. Do you honestly think your husband is going to "allow" you to read his emails and you've already read some pretty damning evidence against him?
Maybe you shouldn't be asking if you're wrong for reading his emails. He's the one who left his password out and didn't cover his tracks. The better question is, why are you with someone who is going out with his co-workers and claiming he's had an affair with one? Hello?!? You're looking at the wrong issue here. Dump your cheating husband and let him have any email account he wants.
He's giving you false security now that's he's trying to be so open. You can bet money he's got another account where his sleazy emails go to now. Anyone on planet Earth can get a hotmail account. It's not even traceable. His honesty is false and his lies are pretty transparent. If you want to be cheated on, stay with him. If you don't, get up and walk out the door. It ain't gonna get any better hun. Cheaters don't change.
2007-03-16 13:00:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are absolutely not wrong. if there was any email about anything like that either he was physically or emotionally cheating on you. either way it was still cheating and the two of you need to talk about it and deal with it. you may never know the truth. have you talked with the woman yet? you may get some insight that way. maybe you should also talk to the coworker that he told. do this without telling your husband. call them and tell them that your husband has come clean about it (even though he hasn't) and you are trying to get through it and it would help if they would be honest with you and tell their side of the story to make sure every thing lines up. once you have done this take a moment to yourself to process it and calm down. then confront your husband again with all the new information you have and see if you can work through it together.
2007-03-16 13:25:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is always a tricky subject. Normally I'd say, yes you were wrong to check his emails. BUT there must have been some reason, whether you are conscious of it or not, why you were not trusting of him in the first place. What kind of behavior was he exhibiting that made you feel like you had to spy on his email in the first place?
HOWEVER, don't let him sidetrack you on the issue of snooping in his emails. He was cheating with another woman, even if it was just email talk, which I doubt. Thinking about it, in my opinion, is just one step away from doing it. YOU NEED MARRIAGE COUNSELING. He is not getting something that he needs from your marriage, whether it is physically, mentally, spiritually or all of the above. You two need to talk openly and honestly about your feelings, your needs and what makes him want to cheat. If I were you I'd run, not walk, with him in tow to the marriage counselor.
2007-03-16 12:53:47 · answer #4 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No....if thats what it takes to regain your trust in him.
There is no room for secrets in a marriage or any serious relationship for that matter.
If u wanted to keep your life private, then u should have stayed single hubby!
Your wife has every right to ask whatever she wants of u until she regains your trust. U should be willing to do whatever it takes to make her trust u again. U r lucky she is with u still after such a betrayal. Some women would have left and moved on. But she has stuck it out. Ur lucky to have a women so understanding if u ask me.
So........let her ask whatever she wants from u. She deserves it.
Good luck and best wishes for a brighter future together.
2007-03-16 12:52:34 · answer #5 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you're wrong. He was doing stuff behind your back. He cannot be trusted. Not yet at least. He has a lot of making up and trust building to do now. Why was he cheating in the first place? Were you two not finding the time to be nice to each other? Caught-up in your separate lives? Is it time to rejoin each other and be more open and honest about how things make you feel. Things that you're doing to each other. Take the time to LISTEN to each other and be more sympathetic to each others needs. Make sacrifices to make each other happy again without letting your personal morals go out the window. Remember, you married each other for a reason. Rediscover that reason. DATE each other again. dON'T HIDE THINGS FROM EACH OTHER ANYMORE!
2007-03-16 12:54:52 · answer #6 · answered by Gwynny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhh your HUSBAND? uh NO its NOT wrong at all to read his emails. he shouldnt get upset at you at ALL for doing that. your married. you're supposed to share everything. and also, let him know that the fact that hes being so protective about it, is bad because that sounds like he IS hiding something. On the other hand, try to give him a chance and listen to what he has to say. He may be telling the truth, but maybe not. only you can make that call. But do NOT feel bad about reading it. good luck to both of you!
OH and ps? how would he feel if he were in your position? wouldnt you let him look at your emails in a heartbeat?
2007-03-16 12:52:21 · answer #7 · answered by shelb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is pretty gray; those emails are very touchy subjects.. I personally wouldn't trust him if I found emails with the described contents. I feel you are not wrong because there shouldn't be anything to hide in the first place. If we went back to horse and carriage times and you found written letters on his table detailing rendevous and affairs, then it is obviously his 'mistake' for not hiding it well enough.
2007-03-16 12:52:29 · answer #8 · answered by mrjoh2001 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. You are married. You should have no secrets from each other. He got caught doing something wrong (at the very least communicating with other women behind your back) and now he wants to make you think you are wrong.
First, it sounds like he is cheating, but even if he isn't he is letting this woman flirt with him and try to seduce him.
You are right, he is wrong. Now what are you going to do about the bigger issue? The other women in his life?
2007-03-16 12:55:22 · answer #9 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not wrong u married him u have the right to see his emails if u have suspicions such as u do. but to tell u the truth now since u will be seeing his emails he wont be doing that crap anymore so u better watch out cuz he could be cheating on u behind ur back. i would check his phone too like text messages and who he calls u dont want a cheater.
2007-03-16 12:52:45 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So let me get this right: you first find all these emails from him asking this other girl out, he denies it all, and now he lets you read his emails?....
Hum, sounds a bit odd to me.
Of course, it was a bit naughty of you to read his emails. But on the other side, he did ask this girl out didn't he?? So you guys are even!
So why doesn't he ask you to ask us whether it is ok to ask a co-worker out? Just an idea.
2007-03-16 12:56:12 · answer #11 · answered by Claire 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋