If an old flame says to you "I know you better than you know yourself" what does he mean?

Question

We reconnected after many years, briefly, like a weekend, (without intimacy). Much intuition (eye signals, etc.,) between the two of us. He gets me. But he doesn't know "my story," the details of 30 years. So how can he say this? What does he mean?

Good come-back?

Depth please.

Answer 1

Anyone who can say something like that who hasn't known you for 30 years is not trust worthy. Get away from this controlling asshole. Every time I have had an encounter where someone felt they knew me better than I did it has turned out very bad for both of us. By thinking he already knows you he will overlook the real you and only see what he wants to see. He has stereotyped you.

Answer 2

He wants to think he knows you better than you know self, you should tell him, "You knew a young girl, 30 years has passed, you don't know me at all now". Times and situations change, and so do people. No one stays the same forever, thank God. We grow as individuals and we become adults. He is remembering a girl, not a woman, it takes times to know someone, I have been married to the same man for almost 35 years and he thinks he knows me, and to a degree he does, but always keep a little mystery in yourself. Never become an open book! Once that book is completely read, it is usually passed around or discarded. My mother taught me that through a lot of talks about men. They like the cat and mouse chase, keep some secrets to yourself, only reveal what you think he wants to hear, or believes.

Answer 3

To me personally that would feel patronising and I wouldn't like to be told that (unless it was about something very, very specific and not terribly important - about on the level of 'you say you don't care for Chinese food but I've seen you really tuck in to the dim sum.' Anything more than that feels like a grab for territory, especially after such a long time apart. But you have to judge your own reaction and whether you want to let him back into your life, even a little bit.

A good come-back would be to test him ... maybe send him to an Internet shopping site for the kinds of things you like (music, books, clothes, etc,) and tell him to fill your shopping trolley. (You of course have already filled in your shopping trolley under a different name). Then compare ... you don't have to go to the check-out.

Answer 4

He is telling you something that he knows you can't verify. He is trying to convince you that you have beening missing something for the last 30 years that only he is qualified to give. If he really believes he knows you that well he must think you are shallow.

Answer 5

It is normal that other people can see through us very quickly, but that it can take years of self-study to achieve even a small percentage of self-knowledge. This is why people interested in self-knowledge group together.

Answer 6

Thats funny, because someone from my past came along too and told me virtually the same thing.....the thing is though, he knows me very well. they think that they know us but sometimes when we are so routine about certain things it does in fact become true.

Answer 7

You know me as you wish I were, not as I really am. You could not possibly know the inside me, only I know that person.

Answer 8

he means he sees the essence or rather idea of what you are rather than the your past