my boyfriend, blew 4times over the legal drinking limit last night and this has happened before like a month ago but went on a two day drinking binge.then came back,apologised,made promises to me saying that there wasnt anything more important to him that me,us and our family.told me he would get help.well,he got as far as the doctor,stopped drinking for 2wks then it was back to the drawing board. i was to leave him then but he needed my help so i stuck with him. i cant do this anymore. im just too tired of it. he said so many hateful/hurtful things to me last night, i know i cant/wont go back to him.its over :(
now i need to focus on my life and getting it back on track again. i feel like crap right about now
2007-03-16 12:29:09 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
last night when he came home, i couldnt let him leave as he was drunk, thats when all the hurful things come flying out of his mouth,so when he went to the toilet, i grabbed his keys off him and hid them. then there was a bit of a shoe shuffle and tug of war with them but i stuck to my guns and refused. i called the police for help(i asked them to take a RBT),they were here in 5min flat and eventually convinced him to stay at his mums. its all overwhelming but i know i did the right thing.
2007-03-16 12:33:58 · update #1
this is what we call 'enabling' ..what ever you have just been going thru lately with him, it will be what you will be going thru one year from now, 5 yrs from now, 10 yrs from now...get it?..be smart, end it before you have nothing left to give, because he will always take and take and lie and take some more~~
as for cheering you up, umm i can juggle while standing on my head and spitting nickels into a cup- would that work?
2007-03-16 12:33:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are very brave and courageous it takes a smart lady to get out when the going gets rough. Just be glad you saw him like this before you have married this guy.
I would just take some me time like a month or 2 is good then find yourself a man who respects you and is not a drunk.
Just be happy that you have the smarts to get away from this situation some women would just stay because they don't have the gumption to leave.
You should be happy you have left a sitaution that was just
getting worse now you have the time and your thoughts to get yourself back together. God Bless and Good Luck.
2007-03-16 19:38:26 · answer #2 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a hot bath, order your favorite food, read the bible, or watch your favorite movie. Spend some time alone reflecting on this horrible event, because you'll soon feel much better and ready to face your life. Luckily he's your boyfriend and not your husband, so you can leave without legal documents, etc. Everything happens for a reason, you just have to find out what the reason is.
2007-03-16 19:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by .:Blair:. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well for one you did the right thing of not letting him drive when he was that drunk. You might have saved his life and maybe other people's live because you kept him rom driving. ANd always rremember one thing it isn't you fault your doing everything you can to help him and all he thinks about is himself. So here's a standing ovation for you(clapping and clapping and standing up). Wish people would try to understand that when you drink you are not only hurting theier selves but others especially family. So stand up and take a bow because you deserve one. And if you need to chat with saomeone IM me anytime.
2007-03-16 19:40:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey it's okay!!!!!!!!!!!!You are just a sweety trying to be there and do the right thing by helping him out but now it's taking it's toll on you and your priorities so leave him alone and let him deal with getting his crap together.You can't keep picking up his broken pieces for him or he will never learn.So despite your best intentions it's time to leave him be and let him get his own help-without yours for awhile.You deserve to be treated with respect and right now he doesn't even respect himself so give it some time.Be happy and good luck sweety.
2007-03-16 19:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by sweetsmiles69@jennieask-me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did do the right thing, and you should be proud of that; however you need to do the right thing and get out of this unhealthy relationship. He is unhealthy, and needs to take care of himself and clean his act up before he is ready to be involved with anyone. You need to concentrate on yourself, and gather your self-esteem after dealing with a sick individual that hurt your feelings and caused you such grief. Take care of yourself, and give yourself time to get over this relationship. Once you truly love someone you will continue to love them for a lifetime; however not all love relationships are meant to last a lifetime. In other words, you will continue to love him, but this relationship is not healthy for you. Maybe someday he will clean up his act and you will find each other again, for now take care of you...
2007-03-16 19:46:27 · answer #6 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be of good cheer! Most people stay in the wrong relationship for too long and do not get out until after they are married or someone is physically hurt.
be happy that you are smart enough to 'know when to fold them'. Your idea to re-focus is marvelous. Do so. Pray. Forgive. Forget. Never look back. God bless you.
2007-03-16 19:35:31 · answer #7 · answered by the Goddess Angel 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He wont change until he hits rock bottom. You leaving him is the best thing you can do for you and him. Staying will bring your life nothing but misery.
I dont know if I can cheer you up but I can tell you he wont change until he really wants to. The only way to cheer you up is time away from him and not going back.
2007-03-16 19:33:34 · answer #8 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't feel like crap because u made the right choice you told him that what he was doing u didn't like it and he offusly didn't take it very serous so move on get back on track because in the end he will regrete not listening to u why waste your life on drugs when you could have had a great family and if he loved you he would have least try and not only try but stick to it.
2007-03-16 19:37:49 · answer #9 · answered by shine 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unless he decides (for himself) to seek help and/or rehab you can't force him to. Don't ever sell yourself short. There's tons of men out there who would love to treat you with the respect you deserve. Everything gets better in time, I promise you that. In the mean time concentrate on yourself.
2007-03-16 19:37:43 · answer #10 · answered by jaypea40 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋