my husband-to-be's ex-wife won't let him go. we told her not to come near us or call anymore but it doesn't work. we even threatened to go to the police but she still won't stop.she keeps trying to get him back by telling lies about me and her latest one was about him. she told me that they had had sex only a few weeks ago and that she was now pregnant with his child. she told me he was only marrying me to have money for the baby. i told him and he denied it, so i believe him. we don't really want to file charges but she won't quit. what can we do?
2007-03-16 12:05:32 · 23 answers · asked by Kyra 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sorry, but you are going to have to file charges.
Get a restraining order.
If it was HIS choice NOT to file, then maybe you need to question HIS motives.
2007-03-16 12:15:34 · answer #1 · answered by elidet_reyes 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Start documenting the incidents by listing exact dates and times. I encourage you to file a police report because you can never be too sure what her intentions are. And if she wants him back "by any means necessary" she might be plotting to cause YOU physical harm.
If you have a house phone, have privacy manager installed so that you can screen calls as they come in. Also, do not answer "private" or "anonymous" calls. It might be her trying to get in touch with you.
If she shows up at your house, definitely file an order of protection to keep her away from you. I believe that if you utilize your resources (legal, law enforcement), she will eventually back off.
However, your husband needs to support you in this as well. This ex of his needs to realize that there is no way that she is ever going to get him back. He can help her realize this by not answering her calls, emails, etc.
2007-03-16 20:20:40 · answer #2 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this but it's time for a restraining order you have been polite and asked nicely now is the time to get the law involved she is nuts. It appears she doesn't want her ex to be happy with another gal and she will just keep getting on your case until you do something about It. In any case it is your fiance's call if anything I do not know why he has been beating around the bush as they say if it was me I would have dealt with this long ago. Tell your husband to be to get a restraining order ASAP you are tired of this womens crap. Then maybe you can plan your wedding in peace.
2007-03-16 19:16:55 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She is crazy, and needs help. He may need to speak to her family without you....and he needs to tell them that he has asked her to stop on numerous occasions, but that she has yet to do so, and that she is leaving him no choice but to go to the police. Not they they can do too much, she is not physically threatening either of you...and I am not real sure if you can still take our a restraining order if there is no threat. Another thing to do, is to stop entertaining her, by this I mean listening to what she has to say...don't answer the phone when she calls...let the answering machine do its job...and save all her messages. do not answer the door if she comes to your house...document all the times that she does. If she Begin following you guys around.....document it....this will be a case for stalking.....she will either grow up and move on....or you are going to have to file charges....there is also a possibility that the 2 of you may end up having to move.....this time get an unlisted number.....and change your cell phone numbers.......I hope he does not have any kids with this woman....because you can't change numbers and move without giving her that info.
Best of luck
2007-03-16 19:19:02 · answer #4 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't feel sorry for you your with that woman's man there not divorced yet . I believe her if she is pregnant then have her get a DNA test that will tell you who the lire is By all rites that woman can kick your butt and if you took it to court she would win why cant you understand they are still married without you in the picture she may have had a chance with him . What you are doing is alienating there marriage. Why cant you 2 hold off till his divorce is legal?
2007-03-16 19:26:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really want to tell you to beat her azz but that's not the right thing to do.Although it may feel good to you. But since she is harassing you then you need to keep track of when and what she does and maybe record her conversations and present that to the police so that you can get a restraining order and if she is out of line then you can get her arrested.
2007-03-16 19:27:13 · answer #6 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, STOP TALKING TO HER. She IS TROUBLE. She is trying to break you two up. There is no reason to be talking to this woman. HANG UP on her. Get caller ID and DONT ANSWER her calls. Change your phone number. If she claims to be pregnant by husband, write her a letter and tell her to contact your fiance's attorney and they can arrange for a paternity test after the baby is born, but there is NOTHING you all need to be talking about. Any threats she makes, tell her to call his attorney. But DONT TALK TO HER ANYMORE. Tell your friends and family to not take any calls from her. If your friends dont stop, they are not your friends. You both need to cut the communication here because that is what is giving her the power to disrupt your lives.
2007-03-16 19:20:46 · answer #7 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to curse her out one good time, and tell her how you and your soon to be husband talk about her and laugh at how desperate she is. then ask her if she wants you to help her find a new man. You have to rudd and laugh at her for her desperate attempts, Just say, "He is obvioulsly sick of you why don't you save yourself some embarrasment and move on." Humiliating her will get her to see how desperate she is acting and how pitiful she must seem,
2007-03-16 20:26:06 · answer #8 · answered by LETICIA P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, that love triangle thing she is trying to pull you need to stop. Put a restrainting order on her, change your phone number, move, i dont know, but that is just weird. It seems like you are having more of a problem with it then he is, maybe you should look into that too!
2007-03-16 19:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by dunk 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Uh...If he is not willing to file charges, then she might be telling the truth...something smells about this story.
The ONLY thing to do is call the police and press charges.
2007-03-16 19:10:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Change your phone numbers and tell your guy to stop all contact with her, she cant get in if you dont let her, it seems that someone is letting her get too close still.....
2007-03-16 19:41:55 · answer #11 · answered by alexandria1_1999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋