question for women out there that talk to their mothers a lot?

Question

Do you guys talk to your mothers about your marriage? It drives me crazy that my wife does and I told her to stop but I can't prove it but with the crazy ideas she comes up with I know her mother is feeding her this crap. I put my foot down and she says she doesn't do it but I don't know if I can trust her. What do I do?

Answer 1

Women work out their problems by talking about them. It's a good thing that she has someone close to confide in. It's nothing against you.

If it's causing a rift in your marraige, maybe instead of confronting her about talking to her mom, you could let her know that you are open to communicating with her. Start slow and easy. Be patient. It may take her a while to open up to you as some women more easily talk to a close female.

It's all about communication and being open to talking and listening.

Wish you both the best.

Answer 2

I have a very close relationship with my Mother, and I do often talk to her about my marriage (the good as well as the not-so good). My husband is well aware of this, and he knows that I would never ever tell her (nor anyone else) anything that shouldn't be shared.. There are certain boundaries for things like that, and I know not to cross them. I'm just very open with my Mom, and always have been.. when it comes to talking about my life and everything.

I will say though, going and talking to someone else about your marriage, isn't always a healthy thing. It should never ever be in the place of talking to your spouse, and you also shouldn't give out so much information that the person knows everything about your private life. It's one thing to share with someone, and a totally different thing to get all in detail about your every waking moment with your spouse. Too much can be too much, and often unhealthy.. as it can cause tension within your marriage. But it is nice to have someone to talk to about things, whether it be good, or not good.. and if someone feels comfortable with talking to their Mother (as I do) then that's nice.. as long as it doesn't go overboard.

Just talk to your Wife, and let her know how you feel about everything. I'm sure she's not doing it to hurt you... you just need to sit down and talk about it, that's all.

Take care!

Answer 3

Well, i only talk to my mother about stuff that i just want to vent about. Stuff that even if she told me what i should do i wouldnt listen. If she says she is not talking to her mother about it, trust her, but keep in mind women have other life-lines, does she talk a lot to her girlfriends?? That is where the out-of the blue fights and "discussions are comming from probably, mothers are very old fashioned and she is probly giving her advice she wont take ne way, its the single friends you have to worry about bc if you fk up and she tells them, all they are gonna do is tell her what they think she wants to hear, to make you change or to leave you and hang with them. If you still believe it is only the mother, then maybe you should jump the chain and talk to the mother. Are you close with your inlaws???

GL
Dunkaroo

Answer 4

It's not right for your wife to do that. It creates a horrible image in her mother's head, and plus she is only hearing one side of the story. It's bad for you, it ruins your reputation. She needs to realize that talking about your problems, and asking for advice is hurting your relationship with your wife, and your relationship with your MIL.

Personally, I never say anything. I talk to my mom 2-3 times a day too! I talk to her about other things! I don't feel it's my mom's business knowing the details about our marriage, and my mom is hearing one side of the story. It's not fair.

Keep putting your foot down. Leave it down too. It's not right, it's a privacy issue, and it's your lives! Tell your wife to straighten up. Good luck!

Answer 5

Don't bother telling her to stop. You'll only pissoffyour mother in law, if your wife suddenly stops talking to her like she usually does. Your wife needs to stop sharing her personal life with her mother and start to talk to you about what is going on in her head if there's a problem in your marriage. You might need to get into marriage counseling.

Answer 6

I talk to my mother on a daily basis, I talk to her about everything, even my sex life. You should be happy that your wife has someone in her life that supports her and loves her that much. you may not agree with it, but it is a good thing. As far as the crazy ideas, you mother-in-law may bring up the ideas, but I would think that your wife has her own brain correct. So if she continues with the ideas it is on her own accord, hold her responsible not the mother.

Answer 7

I don't agree that women tell their mothers things about their marriage. The less they know the better. That way they can't put their noses where they don't belong. Mothers can be too protective for their daughter's good. They become meddlesome and busybody.

Answer 8

How do you know it is her mother for sure? She can't be creative enough to come up with ideas of her own? Maybe she something on TV. The only way you would know if her mother gave her those ideas is by talking to her mother and judging for yourself.

Answer 9

you should let her after all she only gives her advice and what your wife does with it well that´s up to her.i used to talk to my mum all the time, and a lot of time thought she was wrong but mainly she was right, she has a lot more experience she has been married for nearly 50 years, but now my relationship is hitting the rocks and unfortunately she is not around anymore to help me, and my god i wish she was because i know that with her help we would not be as bad as we are, we would of come up with a solution by now. make the most of having someones experience while it lasts.

Answer 10

I talk to my mother almost every day. We do not have the kind of relationship you described. We are close, share a lot of things, basically are happy people. I do not talk down about my husband to ANYONE, ever.