he cheated and i still have doubts that hes not doing it again. i can not click on to the e-mail and i really need to know if my husband is being faithful. how can i find the answer you send me. PLEASE i really need to know
2007-03-16 10:46:00 · 14 answers · asked by diane m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Private investigator?
2007-03-16 10:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, the only deal buster in marriage is betrayal. I think marriage is respect, admiration, passion and trust, --- the four biggies.....with lots of lovies, kindnesses, learning to get your issues out there without trouncing on the others' ego, and sometimes it is just shutting the hell up. But for sure, it is exclusiveness in sex.... Your trust in him is gone, for sure, for sure, if what you say in this note is true, and there is no way you can swallow the image of him pronging another lady. He has shared passion with someone else...and that, hon is a visual you'll not soon get rid of...... And that means the first two are in the toilet too, as well as the passion and the trust. And when you have no trust, hon, you have nothing...... Hon, you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate, and maybe an occasional boinking buddy, and how you don't just vomit in the guys face would be beyond me. Unless you regard yourself as a doormat, and have no self-esteem, I'd ask you why are you staying..? And if you are choosing to stay, why aren't you both in counseling to try to save this marriage...because you can't save it unless the two of you want to save it.... If he has cheated, he may not leave you for this one, but the first one is just the bridge out of the marriage...... S(h)it, life is just toooooo goddamn short to be miserable, and wonder where your husband is. And there are just tooooo many nice men out there who would love to have a wonderful lady as a wife, for you to mess with a cheater. Will he quit? (Ever hear of "Once a cheater.....?") Why are you wasting your time trying to chase down an e-mail???? Ain't it obvious he's betrayed you???? How much more do you want to know?????
I am constantly amazed as my "sisters" who put up with betrayal... maybe it was because of what my mom once told me that I had the strength to leave:
1. The man you marry is the most important decision you will ever make. Choose wisely
2. Don't make me a grandmother before you make me a mother-in-law, and never have any children you cannot support in a fashion you like. Remember children are divisive, not bonding.... remember they can destroy even a strong marriage. Be sure you plan carefully before becoming parents.
3. Finish your education. Marriage is not a life-long meal ticket. You will likely work sometime during your marriage, maybe even for decades. Get paid for it.
4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about, even if you know you will never need it. You will, and the more the better.
Thank you mom for that conversation we had so long ago. I will always love you for that....You made my life the joy it has been, with far fewer bumps that those of my friends.
2007-03-16 12:00:37 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about it, why did he cheat on you in the first place? There are always signs on when someone is cheating on you. You might not see it. But if you talk to your friends about your relationship, they might see stuff you don't. Trust your heart and go with what you really feel.
2007-03-16 12:47:15 · answer #3 · answered by mary 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he did that, then take the computer to a specialist and tell them you want a history of all emails, do NOT tell them your personal business. i don't know what my friend's husband did, but he found out his dad was cheating on his mother by reading all the emails.
2007-03-16 11:05:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know that you can't continue on with your marriage feeling the way that you do. You're either going to have to get pass the affair and try to move on, or just see him for what he is now.
2007-03-16 10:52:10 · answer #5 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not right now, he will in the future.. Get a divorce, and get on with your life. Better luck next time.
2007-03-16 10:52:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When trust is broken it s really hard to get it back, really.. You know what just try to believe him cause you ll live in hell otherwise.
Best of luck
2007-03-16 10:53:48 · answer #7 · answered by kitycat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you don't trust him. The only person who knows the truth is him. That's the person you're going to have to ask.
2007-03-16 10:51:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a cheat, always a cheat.... i fell for it quite a few times, they just aren't worth the heartache.
2007-03-16 10:58:24 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the woman he cheated with..
2007-03-16 10:49:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋