have u ever been told 2 never date outside ur race growing up, instead u did it anyway? why did u do it?

Question

i have a friend whose parents absolutely did not want their 7 kids to date outside thier race. that rule was completely enforced. now that they are all grown up 6 of 7 kids are married or dating interracially, and some of them have interracial kids

Answer 1

My dad was very against us (I have 3 brothers) dating outside the race, and to this day he says he does not believe in inter-racial dating. While in high school, my biggest crush was an upperclassman who happened to be black...my mom was all for it, my dad was against it...dad won out. For years I tried to obey his wishes including a 10 1/2 year miserable relationship with someone my dad approved of. Now, however, I'm in a very serious relationship with a black man and for the last several months, my dad and I have barely said two words to each other (not for lack of trying on my part). Most of my entire family is pissed at my dad for hanging on to his archaic views.

Oh yeah...as to the 'why'. I've learned that the only way for me to be happy is to do what makes me happy. Not doing what makes others happy, parents included. I don't date because of what race a person is but all that we have in common, how well we get along, how well I am treated, what kind of person he is. It's not that white men don't want me, I've dated plenty of white men.

Answer 2

I grew up not really knowing the difference between 'black' and 'white' people in the sense that I fought just as hard and rough with my 'black' friends as my 'white' When introducing a friend or pointing someone out I would not draw attention to colour e.g. 'It is the black man over there...' Therefore I never really carried any particular racial issues. However when I moved into a predominantly Bangledeshi neighbourhood I found myself being looked 'down on' and 'judged' on the flimsiest of issues that really only boiled down to I was a 'white guy' in a 'coloured' neighbourhood. Therefore when I started dating a Bangledeshi the social consequences for them were dire their family gave them a simple choice me or them. To me it was a shame and sad, but unfortunately it is the way some cultures operate. I dated the guy because at the time I genuinely loved him and it had (truly) nothing to do with the colour of his skin. It was just other people that chose to make it about that!

Answer 3

My mom said she'd never date a black person but my dad said he always thought black women were pretty. So yes and no. I only date outside of my race because all of the white guys I dated treated me bad.

Answer 4

I married outside my culture and have regreted it ever since our kids were born!

I teach my kids to be friends with everyone regardless of religion, skin color, culture, etc., but I also teach them, for the sake of a less complicated, and possibly more successful, marriage that they should only date within their religion and culture. This decision is based on my personal experience and not on racism. Hopefully, since I explain to them the reasoning behind my advice and that they see that my friends are a rainbow of peoples, they will agree with me. It wont matter, though; if they choose to go against my wishes and their boyfriends/spouses are good people they will be treated like family and not like a Jerry Springer guest.

Answer 5

I was told to never marry outside my race. I dated all races of guys but respected my parents wishes and married a Latino. I hope my daugter does the same also.

Answer 6

that's called karma. yes, I was told that when I was growing up, did i listen, well no. i dated a man not of my race, it did not work out because he ended up being a jerk. but why did i do it? Well he followed me around and would not give up. He was really sweet to me. Nice to hang out with. Same reason I date anyone else. I liked the guy, or enjoyed being around him and it became something else.

Answer 7

I dont know if rascism is the issue here. Blacks seem to overuse that word. I think its about culture and identity.

Answer 8

Certainly not! My mama told me that White women were nothing but trouble, and after seeing what happened to brother OJ, I can see what she meant.

Most of the White women who want to date us have a screw loose upstairs and even their own men don't want them

Answer 9

Dating someone the same ethnicity as me would be damn near impossible as I am half black and half East Indian. Strangely, my father didn't want us dating black men (even though he married a black woman who looks white). So, we were forbidden from dating black men. Fortunately, my father has mellowed.

Still though, my sisters married white guys, and I'm dating one. Go figure.

Answer 10

Very promising story! It means that not ALL racists succeed in passing their b.s on to their kids!