hey i have this boy that is a friend with benefits or privileges. he tells me everything and so do i! well that's what i thought!
there are a lot of lesbians and gays in my school and i'm not against that but my friend is or was. he would talk really bad about them specially gays. i didn't know why, But i just found out today by his own friend that he is bisexual! now i don't know what to do should i tell him that i know already or should i wait 4 him to tell me? but i know he won't tell me nothing unless i say something about it. what should i do?
2007-03-16 10:31:38 · 14 answers · asked by natalie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Hm what I would do is wait it out. Maybe hes afraid to tell you and hes afraid of how you would react or maybe he thinks you wont accept him. Hmm I would just think of things to say that would kinda tell him your open and dont have a problem with bi's, gays, and lesbains but without hinting that you know he is. Like if you're at the mall and see a gay couple hugging and kissing or whatever just be like aw thats cute or something. Or if you hear someone talking about bi's/gays/lesbains in a bad way be like well thats not right they're entitled to love too, they just wanna be loved like everyone else does. Like talk about it in a positive way but not showing you know or pointing it towards him. Maybe then he'll see you dont have a problem with it and you'll be open to it and he might asks you questions like "what if your friend was bi?" and you just tell him your in answer in a nice way. Like "well I'd be there for them, theres nothing wrong with that." Stuff like that. I hope I made sense.
2007-03-16 10:42:27 · answer #1 · answered by Jess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are this person's friend, then you should NOT say anything about what you know for two reasons.
1) If he is bi-sexual, then it is quite obvious that he is having trouble dealing with it. Since we still live in a society that doesn't allow people to be themselves, he feels that the best way to cope is to talk about others so they won't look at him. He is very afraid of being rejected.
2) There is the distinct possibility that he might not be bi-sexual. You heard a rumor and you believe it to be a fact. Until you hear it from the horse's mouth, do NOT believe the things you hear. Everyone on the face of this planet has lied in their lifetime and his own friend is no different.
So, be a friend, stop believing rumors, and let him tell you himself.
2007-03-16 17:43:07 · answer #2 · answered by fenway2k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His friend may not have all the facts, or may be mistaken. Or your friend's "bisexuality" may have been an isolated incident, and not a permanent way of life. So keep that in mind.
It's up to you if you want to ask your friend - but don't "tell him that you know", in case you are mistaken. You can ask him "Are you gay or bisexual? because I heard you might be, and I want you to know I'm totally okay with that and will totally support you."
Regardless, you should ask him to stop gay-bashing around you, because his negative comments make you feel uncomfortable - not because they are directed at you, but because they are hurtful comments and you know he's a much nicer person than that.
2007-03-16 17:41:11 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats hard..see you should have known if you too are friends with benefits. But its best if he tells you ..but if it gets to the point where you think hes sleeping with a guy and you then I would be like you know its ok to tell me . Just try to support him
2007-03-16 17:39:03 · answer #4 · answered by JENNIFER C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose you could ask for your friend's opinion about bisexual or homosexuals, but I would wait and see how it goes. If nothing comes out, then you could ask him indirectly. Just don't ask about him or his friends, but more like asking about what his opinion is about homosexuals/bisexuals.
2007-03-16 17:42:44 · answer #5 · answered by saikojay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should ask him what he thinks of bi's, and you should not tell him that you know. If hes a good freind like you said then he will tell you when the time is right
2007-03-16 17:35:26 · answer #6 · answered by Trey E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask , if hes really your friend it wont matter, but i must add that someones sexual prefrence is really only between them and their partner. that shouldnt make a difference as to your friendship with them.
2007-03-16 17:39:24 · answer #7 · answered by jestersbreeze 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truth
2007-03-16 17:34:57 · answer #8 · answered by troble # one? 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't say a word. That's between the two of them.
2007-03-16 17:34:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pk if he's honest with you then let him but bring the thing up about being honest and also do't judge don't make fun of him tell what he thinks about bi's be like one of his closest friends
2007-03-16 17:37:17 · answer #10 · answered by ros2isa@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋